Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

I think my medication probably does prevent that for the most part. It sucks sleeping like 12 hours but I guess if that's what I need, that's what I need. Unfortunately it acts as a tranquilliser but recently I forgot one dose and couldn't sleep whatsoever, it was awful.

The thing is with my brain condition I need occupational therapy/coaching for life basically, and need to find that. My dad's already set a budget for that and expects its to simply go away after a time which is typical. Really I need to get more money in so I can pay myself.

I also get screwed with the basic rate for PIP when I should get the enhanced and mobility rates. I'll fight that this time so I also have some money to pay for private therapy myself, even if it's just one hour a week, it would help massively. That's what it's for. Not just paying the rent and utilities.

Reading through this thread makes me realise how good I've got it, and how trivial and insignificant my issues are. And yet they still hurt so badly. Feelin pretty low all of a sudden. Hope everyone's coping with life ok

No one's competing or comparing, you can post about whatever if you want to o/

OrangeRKN wrote:No one's competing or comparing, you can post about whatever if you want to o/

I'm shocked Hexx hasn't posted something sexual to this. Well, more disappointed actually.

My meds got doubled last month and they have also made me really tired like you Gecko.

On the one hand it's great because they make me a lot more motivated and goal orientated as well as more energised at work, but on the other I don't have the will to engage in any of my hobbies.

And like today I got a decent night's sleep and then ended up sleeping again from like 10am to 3pm.

I think that SSRIs can help if you lead a structured life i.e. Have a regular job and routine etc but the numbing sensation of feeling kind of nothing rather than sad all the time makes it very hard to pursue passions so that might be why your hobbies are kinda lying in the dark.

I also take quietiapine which is what makes me sleep. BUt I stayed up late playing axiom verge this past few days and I just didn't feel like sleeping at all so that tranquilliser effect seems to have kind of worn off... I would prefer to have something else to help sleep when I need it rather than it just being a side effect.

The trouble is I need a bit of madness and risk taking and mania in my life because my job is about taking risks and going out on a limb sometimes, or I just end up doing almost nothing at all in the long term in terms of achieving goals. Seeing the same psychiatrist who diagnosed my brain about 10 years ago which is fitting and going to consider reviewing the meds to see if another approach I.e. Actually getting I.e. Paying for talking therapy works better for me and reduce the dosage overall. THe really bad episode I had was renewed trauma really, not just general feeling terrible and so I need to treat that not just take medication forever and keep thinking of sad things from time to happen that happened over a decade ago in some cases.

People with ASD are often over medicated and taking antipsychotics and things just because they perceive the world differently, I am not sure this is the right approach anymore so anyway just best to speak to my old psyhiatrist again and try to get some regular counselling or coaching set up instead of bouncing in and out of the triage system whenever it gets really bad and then never actually seeing an NHS psychologist because of NHS funding blahblah and being fobbed off to some counselling service elsewhere. I need to get ahead of it and take control of my own mental healthcare.

So, i'm worried that i'm seeing signs in myself that i'm developing symptoms of Bipolar Disorder or some other mental health condition.

I've suffered from depression for a good number of years now, i've had counselling in the past but they have either been short term fixes or haven't helped at all and now i'm noticing i'm having very rapid mood swings.

I was out with friends and I went through a mental laspe of happiness, anger (at myself), jealousy, bitterness (at myself), boredom and the feeling of emptiness in the space of 4 hours.

And at work last night I went through the same mood swings but they were even more rapid and in a 3 hours time span and I can could visualize going from wall to wall. My head also feels foggy inside so I don't know what my train of though is when it happens.

I'm making an appointment with the doctor to ask for a psychiatrist appointment, what's going on in my head now isn't just depression, it's something else and i'm pretty much scared of myself right now.

J. Vengeance wrote:So, i'm worried that i'm seeing signs in myself that i'm developing symptoms of Bipolar Disorder or some other mental health condition.

I've suffered from depression for a good number of years now, i've had counselling in the past but they have either been short term fixes or haven't helped at all and now i'm noticing i'm having very rapid mood swings.

I was out with friends and I went through a mental laspe of happiness, anger (at myself), jealousy, bitterness (at myself), boredom and the feeling of emptiness in the space of 4 hours.

And at work last night I went through the same mood swings but they were even more rapid and in a 3 hours time span and I can could visualize going from wall to wall. My head also feels foggy inside so I don't know what my train of though is when it happens.

I'm making an appointment with the doctor to ask for a psychiatrist appointment, what's going on in my head now isn't just depression, it's something else and i'm pretty much scared of myself right now.

It's OK man you're doing the right thing by taking note of the emotions and mood swings and seeing the doctor, definitely 100% the right thing to do. It's much better to be aware of these things than to ignore them or pretend they're not happening.

I mentioned quetiapine before, at low doses this is a mood stabiliser that might help and there are some other more left field things like mindfulness/meditation and perhaps CBD oil (please be careful with this it's extremely expensive and sometimes the cannaboids are such a low volume it is a waste of money) that can take the edge off.

I have definitely experienced that in the past, mistakenly (as I hadn't seem some of my childhood friends for over a year) I let my family take over at Xmas and I didn't go to the pub for Xmas eve to see them. That said, last year I burst into tears just because my friend who is a bit up north now so talks very loudly and can seem angry when isn't. It's always an emotional time when seeing friends you haven't seem for a long time but still care about, nonetheless there are other occasions where I have thought "I must go see my friends!" And then go and can just barely cope at all, I will sit there in anxious silence and just go blank, feel that pressure on myself to talk because I want to socialise but somehow can't. It's a really tough place to be knowing you want that normality and commune of socialising but your brain just isn't playing along. So I do understand that being stuck between 4 corners of different emotions. Just bear in mind this can be normal sometimes for everyone when there's a lot going on but if it is occurring repeatedly and it's having an effect on your quality of life and overall mood or sense of wellness then it's best to see a doctor. Good luck with your appointment. Mine is tomorrow, I've written a small list of what I want to discuss (as I get an hour which is nice!) and review my care plan for the next 6 months or so which I haven't done in a long time (several years now).

I thought I might be bipolar, it was suggested by a tutor at college over 12 years ago now. I think I am on a low level but it's more like cyclothymic depression, this means you go through phases of subtle mania (excitement or hyperactivity or sudden bursts of energy) and depression on a sort of sine wave, up and down over several weeks over and over again and I just have to learn to live with that and identify the signs of when I need to take some time off or if it get worse go to the doctor. Yet it's that I very rarely feel "well" or "content" or whatever that even is. Which is a side effect of antidepressants - in my experience you can feel less cripplingly sad (like don't want to bother going on living sad or would be better off without a brain getting in the way etc) but just moot overall which I am not fond of being either, but it's better than being dead. That's such a low quality bar for life I need to look at it again from time to time so I am doing that.

For counselling I can get a discount at my girlfriend's work for a counsellor who also does neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis so really ought to try that. NOt sure why I'm putting it off, just always find it very difficult to start a relationship like that because it's so personal. I try to get on with things and then look back, I've spent maybe 90% of my time doing 5% of the things I had in mind (bear in mind I hyper think and am extremely creative so that's pretty normal to be honest) and part of that is because I'm just sleeping so much and getting stuck in ruts not knowing what to do next to benefit ME rather than my business or my customers or whatever. So overall the more I put off getting some help the more time I'm losing to just nothingness. It can be so hard to get over the barrel like that, as I've seen only a few specialists in my "journey" battling my own brain and sometimes they hare helpful and sometimes it just feels like talking to a brick wall or what can really come of this etc. I fill in the forms saying I feel a bit better in this respect because I'm speaking to someone about my traumas and then it's "you are NONDEPRESSED" and you can go home, queue a few months down the line new trauma happens or something else and I'm back at square one again. If I could make my business profitable I'd gladly pour all of that into paying for regular help as it isn't going to happen on its own in this climate (I never had help at school or when I was growing up despite presenting all the same issues) and jobs etc. Aren't going to provide adequate support because they don't want to or they don't want to pay for it or it's not available etc etc.

It's the only way I can be these days. It should be easier but unfortunately it isn't. I still don't even know where to start looking for private help even if it was just a half decent secretary type person who could take some of the load off, but that's expensive as well. In an ideal world someone like my dad would contribute and say, OK rather than buying a new car or house etc. Here's three grand, go and pay for a mentor or coach to help you out a bit. Although that may finally happen I need to make it sustainable. My old GP (founding partner of a practice so he was good but retired) said, think of it like an investment, invest in the wellness of your mind and then in the long term you will see a return from that. Of course, it's right, just hard to find the resources at times. I wish people like my dad and other people could see that, I suppose I can be grateful (and am grateful) that my partner does. But she has her own job and her own life, she can't be around all the time to deal with my work issues or problems at work years ago!!

Randomly just woke up at half 4 and started thinking about what would be the best way to end it all kek. Real night hours right now, who up?

Jezo wrote:Randomly just woke up at half 4 and started thinking about what would be the best way to end it all kek...

Jezo, man, this doesn't sound like good thoughts. A few hours on, are you still feeling the same way? I'm no expert in this field but, if you are thinking along those lines, maybe you could try talking to a close friend, your doctor, or perhaps even someone a bit more anonymous such as The Samaritans.

Whatever you do, hold on and try to get through it. It never seems like it when you're in the maelstrom, but things can change.

Jezo wrote:Randomly just woke up at half 4 and started thinking about what would be the best way to end it all kek. Real night hours right now, who up?

I may be an anxious ridden mess with a lot going on at the mo but I'm always here to chat if you need to dude!

It just happens sometimes, dw about it. Woke up, couldn't get back to sleep, brain bein weird, couldn't sleep more, got bored, came here. But thanks for concern/support. strawberry floatin tired now tho

Jezo wrote:...strawberry floatin tired now tho

Yeah, those night-time thoughts can get a bit dark. Try and take things easy today, Jezo.

I dont know if this is meant for the relationship thread or this one, but seeing as its mental health related this is probably the better place for it. He's going to kill me if he sees this post but I just can't cope anymore and need somewhere to vent. I'm sorry if you see this but you've seen how bad I am right now and I just need to let it out somewhere where I'm not going to upset anyone else.

My partner, for the past 2 weeks, has been what we all think is a mental breakdown. Hes gone from being a brilliant, intelligent, funny, sarcastic, witty and overall just amazing guy to a scared shell of himself. He keeps telling me hes dying.

First of all he thought his trachea had collapsed. Then it was that he was going to stop breathing if he went to sleep. Then it was that his Co2 was low (it was but that was because he was hyperventilating). Now it's that his body is breaking down and he can't eat because it's speeding up the process. He hasn't eaten properly in 4 days now.

Numerous blood tests, scans and blood tests, 5 ambulances and 4 A&E visits have proved that he is a fit young man with literally nothing going on with him but extreme anxiety. He refuses to believe that. He keeps saying it isn't anxiety but there is literally nothing at all wrong with him. Hes able to get around and function normally, except for this.

I want to keep supporting him but it's so hard. I don't know what to do. His family are trying to get through to him too, but he won't listen. I dont know what to do anymore. My mental state has shifted a bit and I'm back in a bad cycle myself now, but I'm trying to stay strong, distracting myself where I can (AYAW has helped a lot) to keep myself going. Ella keeps seeing me smiling and I'm trying hard to make sure she has no clue on the extent of how extreme this all is, (she knows he's ill) but it's getting harder and harder to keep it up now.

How do you convince someone that they aren't dying when they're utterly convinced they are, when nothing is wrong with them whatsoever? Is there anything else I can do for him? I don't want to support his delusions but I do want to support him through this.

Tsunade wrote:I dont know if this is meant for the relationship thread or this one, but seeing as its mental health related this is probably the better place for it. He's going to kill me if he sees this post but I just can't cope anymore and need somewhere to vent. I'm sorry if you see this but you've seen how bad I am right now and I just need to let it out somewhere where I'm not going to upset anyone else.

My partner, for the past 2 weeks, has been what we all think is a mental breakdown. Hes gone from being a brilliant, intelligent, funny, sarcastic, witty and overall just amazing guy to a scared shell of himself. He keeps telling me hes dying.

First of all he thought his trachea had collapsed. Then it was that he was going to stop breathing if he went to sleep. Then it was that his Co2 was low (it was but that was because he was hyperventilating). Now it's that his body is breaking down and he can't eat because it's speeding up the process. He hasn't eaten properly in 4 days now.

Numerous blood tests, scans and blood tests, 5 ambulances and 4 A&E visits have proved that he is a fit young man with literally nothing going on with him but extreme anxiety. He refuses to believe that. He keeps saying it isn't anxiety but there is literally nothing at all wrong with him. Hes able to get around and function normally, except for this.

I want to keep supporting him but it's so hard. I don't know what to do. His family are trying to get through to him too, but he won't listen. I dont know what to do anymore. My mental state has shifted a bit and I'm back in a bad cycle myself now, but I'm trying to stay strong, distracting myself where I can (AYAW has helped a lot) to keep myself going. Ella keeps seeing me smiling and I'm trying hard to make sure she has no clue on the extent of how extreme this all is, (she knows he's ill) but it's getting harder and harder to keep it up now.

How do you convince someone that they aren't dying when they're utterly convinced they are, when nothing is wrong with them whatsoever? Is there anything else I can do for him? I don't want to support his delusions but I do want to support him through this.

Sorry to hear that Tsunade. Has he sought any help for his anxiety? Is he behaving like this around your child? The latter can make things 10x worse as you absolutely don't want that sort of stuff impacting on your child.

Having dealt with severe anxiety myself and being the father of a 3 year old, I found coping mechanisms in telling my partner that i just had to go out for a bit. Whether it be for a walk or a coffee.

At the end of the day, you have to think about you're own wellbeing as well.

I'm rambling, sorry. I hope you're able to sit down with him and resolve this.

anxiety can cause very real physical effects, and that includes trouble breathing, chest tightness and all that sort of thing - of course if you are concerned about that then its a self perpetuating cycle and makes itself worse the more you worry

Ive had stress/anxiety pains to the point where it felt like my lungs were full of needles and I couldnt breathe, and a sensation that I could only describe as the best approximation I could make to a heart attack - the reason I say all this is whilst its just anxiety or stress hes getting, the physical symptoms he describes are probably very real

if he feels unable to get out of it himself then perhaps speak to the gp - see if they will prescribe diazepam or propranolol, both quite effective in reducing anxiety or panic attack kind of issues - but the gp will know better than me

also, just the act of 'getting medicine' might improve his symptoms as he feels something is being done

if you dont want to do meds, a technique I was taught by a therapist a few years ago that worked for me and worked for a friends kid when I taught him was 'breathing in a square'... you visualise a square in your head, and you breathe in for 4 seconds, following along one of the lines of the square for the duration, pause for a moment, then you exhale for 4 seconds following another side, then pause, then inhale following another side, etc etc

visualising the square takes your mind away, breathing helps calm your chest - its basically a simple meditation method

hope he gets better

Thanks both. He was prescribed lorazepam but in an extremely small dose (1mg) which he refuses to take. Hes adamant that it isn't his anxiety and that it's all real.

One of the nurses tried the square thing with him, he just ignored it.

He keeps googling his symptoms. If we remove his phone he finds another way to get online.

A lot of my patients take 1mg for anxiety or agitation. It may help him Especially if he hasn't had it before. Try and encourage him to use it. 1mg is a regular dose. I only ever give it in 1-2mg doses.

I’ve had an odd day. I was meant to be spending the day with a friend, booked inn with her ages ago. I’d kept my plans clear and was looking forward to it.

Anywhoooo, over the course of the week both Friday night and Saturday night events have popped up for people to attend (remember I’m on a military base, piss ups happen every weekend) I’m not drinking at the moment and I’m still avoiding them other friends I have previously posted about. So I decided, nope I’m not attending either piss up.

In the WhatsApp group I see my friend I was meant to be hanging out with today say shoes going to both.

Privately a few days back I messaged and asked if she still wanted to do something saturday, and if she was planing on being hungover and doing the two events I don’t mind if we cancel. She’s still committed at this point,

Anyway over the course of a few days, she turns our day out into a few hours out, then she turns our few hours into lunch.
Then fourty five minutes before lunch I get this text from her saying she’s not coming. I was a bit gutted and replied, please give me more notice next time so I can make other plans.

A few hours later she texts me an absolute essay.
She claims I’ve been making her feel guilty about not spending time with me, that It’s basically a liability and that she’s not getting what she wants out of our friendship because friendship is a two way thing.

I, gobsmacked to be honest. I’m angry at myself and I’m upset she see’s it this way.
I have spoke to her about all sorts regarding her problems including her drunken boyfriend she always complains about, I’ve supported her always. She had concussion last year and I brought her food and went to see her every day.
We text daily and she has been a big help to me when out here. However always she has been very busy and very flakey, she has cancelled on me last minute multiple times due to becoming to busy, or spontaneously going out, so I do feel there is some back story to me being a little cautious about if she’d cancel on me today.

I’m upset, I did use her as a bit of an agony aunt but I asked her multiple times if things were ok and if she wanted me to stop talking to her about my issues, she always said we were friends and she was always happy to help. Now I get this u turn. I don’t blame her, I blame myself for getting so overwhelmed by this place and my other friendship falling apart being absolutely destruction to my confidence and my mindset.

But today was just so painful, I don’t know why she didn’t raise anything with me some other time. I don’t want to feel like a victim I want to use this experience to build myself up stronger. But at the same time it really hurts, if she had said just once that I was bothering her in person we could have discussed. I need to take her comments on board and work on myself but at the same time I think she’s been a little unfair. So many times she’s cancelled on me last minute and I have always been patient with it. Even today I was like ‘oh well that’s the way she is’ and then to receive that message has made me feel so lost.

Letting people get away with shitty behaviour inevitably leads to loss of respect and friendship.

Dont even bother responding and ignore all future attempts at contact.