Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Green Gecko wrote:>Depression thread
>You are wrong for feeling sad/angry

Do we want to keep being sad/angry for no real reason, or do we want to actually improve our mental health and wellbeing? Is this is support thread, or an echo chamber?

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:

Dual wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:I am having mild anger issues, with the clapping and VE day and everyone trying to have this happy sort of attitude, I'm pissed off and mad and find the fake happiness annoying and just want to go do you realise how many people have died, how many people are suffering stop it with the happy hour BS.....

Maybe some of it's a bit of my PTSD rearing it's head again.

I feel exactly the same way mate. I've just had enough now.

Thanks chap I'm glad someone else gets it.

And Somebody I don't have an issue with real happiness it's all the false rubbish people smiling and going oh isent Boris doing such a good job , look at everyone clapping this lovlyness will continue forever past the virus, no it won't 99 percent of people will be wishing each other dead the second this is over, you can smell the fake over the real it's sickening..... Real happiness is lovely to see.

I think you're making assumptions and projecting your own anger on people. You've taken people celebrating VE day as a sign that people support Boris, when in fact they are two completely separate things.

No I've taken people shouting pro Boris stuff as a sign of it.

kerr9000 wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:

Dual wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:I am having mild anger issues, with the clapping and VE day and everyone trying to have this happy sort of attitude, I'm pissed off and mad and find the fake happiness annoying and just want to go do you realise how many people have died, how many people are suffering stop it with the happy hour BS.....

Maybe some of it's a bit of my PTSD rearing it's head again.

I feel exactly the same way mate. I've just had enough now.

Thanks chap I'm glad someone else gets it.

And Somebody I don't have an issue with real happiness it's all the false rubbish people smiling and going oh isent Boris doing such a good job , look at everyone clapping this lovlyness will continue forever past the virus, no it won't 99 percent of people will be wishing each other dead the second this is over, you can smell the fake over the real it's sickening..... Real happiness is lovely to see.

I think you're making assumptions and projecting your own anger on people. You've taken people celebrating VE day as a sign that people support Boris, when in fact they are two completely separate things.

No I've taken people shouting pro Boris stuff as a sign of it.

Examples?

@kerr: It's a really frustrating situation, so I can see why you'd feel tense and even angry. I definitely think that's normal.

I understand how you feel re: the public displays. Even though I understand that no-one means anything bad by it, I've been rolling my eyes at the #clapping, even more so after I heard about A&E visits spiking on Thursday evenings! The VE Day stuff has been frustrating too particularly as we've had very obvious house-parties down my way, and that's just not taking the lock-down seriously.

It feels to me like they are both examples of rituals that people are engaging in without really thinking about why they are doing it - I don't think a lot of the people clapping are really thinking about how dire the situation is for the NHS and who's to blame for that, and I don't think a lot of the people blasting out Vera Lynn are really thinking about the sacrifices made in World War 2 to defeat Nazism, and that annoys me.

I'm not out there shouting at people, they can do whatever they want, but I think we're still allowed to be a bit annoyed, especially considering the really difficult circumstances that are going to take their toll on anyone's patience!

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:>Depression thread
>You are wrong for feeling sad/angry

Do we want to keep being sad/angry for no real reason, or do we want to actually improve our mental health and wellbeing? Is this is support thread, or an echo chamber?

If telling someone they are simply wrong is your idea of support then it's not very supportive. That's not listening to what their concerns are, it's judging them.

Judging dosn't equal support. At all.

Green Gecko wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:>Depression thread
>You are wrong for feeling sad/angry

Do we want to keep being sad/angry for no real reason, or do we want to actually improve our mental health and wellbeing? Is this is support thread, or an echo chamber?

If telling someone they are simply wrong is your idea of support then it's not very supportive. That's not listening to what their concerns are, it's judging them.

Judging dosn't equal support. At all.

I assumed judging was the way of things, seeing how strawberry floating judgemental of others people seem to be around here. See the Coronavirus and Neighbour threads.

I think you're bringing your frustration into this thread, whereas it might be better to tackle that in the threads where it happened (be it Neighbours or Coronavirus). It's OK to feel upset if you think people are being judgemental, and it's your right to call them on it over in those threads if you want to, but I think this thread should be mostly supportive (unless someone explicitly asks for tough-love life advice). Just my two pennies.

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:

Dual wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:I am having mild anger issues, with the clapping and VE day and everyone trying to have this happy sort of attitude, I'm pissed off and mad and find the fake happiness annoying and just want to go do you realise how many people have died, how many people are suffering stop it with the happy hour BS.....

Maybe some of it's a bit of my PTSD rearing it's head again.

I feel exactly the same way mate. I've just had enough now.

Thanks chap I'm glad someone else gets it.

And Somebody I don't have an issue with real happiness it's all the false rubbish people smiling and going oh isent Boris doing such a good job , look at everyone clapping this lovlyness will continue forever past the virus, no it won't 99 percent of people will be wishing each other dead the second this is over, you can smell the fake over the real it's sickening..... Real happiness is lovely to see.

I think you're making assumptions and projecting your own anger on people. You've taken people celebrating VE day as a sign that people support Boris, when in fact they are two completely separate things.

No I've taken people shouting pro Boris stuff as a sign of it.

Examples?

Again you are focusing on trying to coax out a right/wrong which to use your words doesn't solve anything.

For example:

A personal feels they have suffered mental trauma.

What kind of trauma have you experienced?

Why?

Well sure for those reasons, you can't really be upset enough to be traumatised, because that's irrational due to X/Y scenario I've dirived from what you've told me.

This just makes the person who's upset feel worse. Mental wellbeing has very little to do with rational thinking or logic.

You can ask someone why they feel the way they do. But skipping straight to telling them why they are wrong doesn't achieve very much. It will likely make them feel worse.

Once you've deduced that this person is wrong for feeling the way they do, what then is the result supposed to be? That person knows they are wrong and so is like, "OK cool, I'm a better brain now. +1 logic points." Does that ever happen?

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:>Depression thread
>You are wrong for feeling sad/angry

Do we want to keep being sad/angry for no real reason, or do we want to actually improve our mental health and wellbeing? Is this is support thread, or an echo chamber?

If telling someone they are simply wrong is your idea of support then it's not very supportive. That's not listening to what their concerns are, it's judging them.

Judging dosn't equal support. At all.

I assumed judging was the way of things, seeing how strawberry floating judgemental of others people seem to be around here. See the Coronavirus and Neighbour threads.

Does this have anything to do with your military background?

Karl_ wrote:I think you're bringing your frustration into this thread, whereas it might be better to tackle that in the threads where it happened (be it Neighbours or Coronavirus). It's OK to feel upset if you think people are being judgemental, and it's your right to call them on it over in those threads if you want to, but I think this thread should be mostly supportive (unless someone explicitly asks for tough-love life advice). Just my two pennies.

My concern is, in a thread where people are saying they feel depressed etc, is saying "yes, that is absolutely the right thing to feel, we 100% support you" helpful at all? The first step in tackling mental health problems is looking inwards and identifying one's own triggers and prejudices, and why they exist.

When did you so quickly become an expert in mental wellbeing to state with such conviction the correct way to heal from, er, wrong feelings?

I really think you are struggling to reconcile the difference between feelings and logical reasoning and/or decisions.

Supporting someone generally feeling bad is more about helping them understand why they perhaps feel that way so that they can deduce what to potentially do about it, not explaining why their feelings are wrong. THere are no such things as wrong feelings.

Green Gecko wrote:When did you so quickly become an expert in mental wellbeing to state with such conviction the correct way to heal from, er, wrong feelings?

About 5 years ago, when I did mental health first aid training.

Right, so crisis management? Such courses generally last about a week or a day. Who accredited that? That doesn't sound like an expert-level qualification but something to potentially help someone in a crisis where there is no other possible option.

That isn't really the same as volunteering to tell someone their feelings are wrong, because you are yourself upset about something. It's a misnomer in my view.

Where did they teach you to explain people's feelings were wrong to make them feel better? It's a terrible idea.

Green Gecko wrote:Right, so crisis management? Such courses generally last about a week or a day. Who accredited that? That doesn't sound like an expert-level qualification but something to potentially help someone in a crisis where there is no other possible option.

That isn't really the same as volunteering to tell someone their feelings are wrong, because you are yourself upset about something. It's a misnomer in my view.

Where did they teach you to explain people's feelings were wrong to make them feel better? It's a terrible idea.

What, pray tell, do you offer as an alternative?

You know what, strawberry float this. This thread is nothing more than en echo chamber. Nobody is moving forward here, just being told that everything is OK and everyone else is the problem. Nobody will confront their own demons, nobody will improve their own mental health. Everything is everyone else's problem (ironic, I know, given my username). You are right, it is everyone else that is wrong. Go you.

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:I am having mild anger issues, with the clapping and VE day and everyone trying to have this happy sort of attitude, I'm pissed off and mad and find the fake happiness annoying and just want to go do you realise how many people have died, how many people are suffering stop it with the happy hour BS.....

Maybe some of it's a bit of my PTSD rearing it's head again.

Meanwhile, I don't deny others happiness just because I deny it to myself.

How is Kerr denying other people's happiness?

To whom is he "projecting anger"?

Why are your pronouncing how much better you are as a person for thinking differently about this?

These expressions of feelings Kerr is having have no affect on others. You have chosen to be affected by them and pull him up on it.

Twice you've told someone they are wrong for feeling this way, and that they should stop feeling things because it is apparently wrong, and the affects of that are negative.

So who are you speaking for here? Kerr, or yourself?

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:Right, so crisis management? Such courses generally last about a week or a day. Who accredited that? That doesn't sound like an expert-level qualification but something to potentially help someone in a crisis where there is no other possible option.

That isn't really the same as volunteering to tell someone their feelings are wrong, because you are yourself upset about something. It's a misnomer in my view.

Where did they teach you to explain people's feelings were wrong to make them feel better? It's a terrible idea.

What, pray tell, do you offer as an alternative?

Listening, that actually works.

Green Gecko wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:I am having mild anger issues, with the clapping and VE day and everyone trying to have this happy sort of attitude, I'm pissed off and mad and find the fake happiness annoying and just want to go do you realise how many people have died, how many people are suffering stop it with the happy hour BS.....

Maybe some of it's a bit of my PTSD rearing it's head again.

Meanwhile, I don't deny others happiness just because I deny it to myself.

How is Kerr denying other people's happiness?

To whom is he "projecting anger"?

These expressions of feelings Kerr is having have no affect on others. You have chosen to be affected by them and pull him up on it.

Twice you've told someone they are wrong for feeling this way, and that they should stop feeling things because it is apparently wrong, and the affects of that are negative.

So who are you speaking for here? Kerr, or yourself?

The words "fake happiness" suggest exactly that.

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

kerr9000 wrote:I am having mild anger issues, with the clapping and VE day and everyone trying to have this happy sort of attitude, I'm pissed off and mad and find the fake happiness annoying and just want to go do you realise how many people have died, how many people are suffering stop it with the happy hour BS.....

Maybe some of it's a bit of my PTSD rearing it's head again.

Meanwhile, I don't deny others happiness just because I deny it to myself.

How is Kerr denying other people's happiness?

To whom is he "projecting anger"?

These expressions of feelings Kerr is having have no affect on others. You have chosen to be affected by them and pull him up on it.

Twice you've told someone they are wrong for feeling this way, and that they should stop feeling things because it is apparently wrong, and the affects of that are negative.

So who are you speaking for here? Kerr, or yourself?

The words "fake happiness" suggest exactly that.

My point is that feeling disdain towards others does not harm anybody, whereas you are suggesting it is harming somebody and pronouncing that your view and therefore yourself "Meanwhile, I..." is better because you don't feel that way.

What is the strawberry floating point of that? It has no place in a discussion about mental wellbeing in my opinion because it has only one inevitable result: makes you feel better about yourself, and the person you're responding to feel worse.

Green Gecko wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:>Depression thread
>You are wrong for feeling sad/angry

Do we want to keep being sad/angry for no real reason, or do we want to actually improve our mental health and wellbeing? Is this is support thread, or an echo chamber?

If telling someone they are simply wrong is your idea of support then it's not very supportive. That's not listening to what their concerns are, it's judging them.

Judging dosn't equal support. At all.

I assumed judging was the way of things, seeing how strawberry floating judgemental of others people seem to be around here. See the Coronavirus and Neighbour threads.

Does this have anything to do with your military background?

Maybe tangentially. After all, I was told by some prominent members of this very forum years ago, that I had "signed up for" any trauma that I subsequently suffered.

Right, so I'm currently very, very intoxicated at the moment (in a way that only a member of the armed services can get). Maybe I'm being a little strong tonight, and I apologise for my bluntness. I sometimes talk without thinking. I do strongly believe certain things (such as the necessity of investigating why you feel a certain why, in order to tackle why that is), and in my latent alcoholism I sometimes cannot...ah strawberry float, what's the word I'm looking for...ARTICULATE (that's the one!) effectively.

I've suffered from diagnosed PTSD and clinical depression for 11 years now. I am practising mindfulness as a way of dealing with it, and perhaps I myself and projecting that on others.

Also, this took strawberry floating ages to type.