Eighthours wrote:worried about letting someone down who I didn't know from Adam only a few weeks ago, and also I don't want to let my brother down!
First of all, cut that out. You aren't letting anybody down, not even yourself. There is nobody in this world that is not susceptible in some way to mental health problems. The mental and emotional affects of lockdown are well documented, even in this thread, on a tiny microcosm of the internet, there are people that have posted in here to gain some sense of clarity or relief that what they have experienced in these uncertain times isn't limited to themselves.
Eighthours wrote:Whenever people have talked about anxiety and depression, I've had no real idea about the physical, mental and emotional symptoms. What does it MEAN in your head to be anxious or depressed? How can I say what something is without knowing this? Without this knowledge, I don't know what I'm currently experiencing (I wrote 'currently going through' first, but that seems a little self-important).
It's cliche but it's different for each person. Some simply feel unable to interact with the world around them and it's all they can do to hold their head up. I would strongly advise visiting your GP and be very clear about what you are going to tell him/her.
Eighthours wrote:I'm also in a situation in my personal life that I know isn't working but I don't feel like I currently have the strength to confront. So while previously a dodgy situation in one side of life might be offset by the other being decent, now I feel like I have no respite.
My advice from experience would be:
- Go for a walk each day, twice if you are able to. Yes, really, it will help, although you may not initially notice it. Force yourself out of the door.
- Write down what your problems are. Then, whilst focusing on one problem at a time(!), write small, little steps, to be taken one at a time, that can help to resolve each issue. Important to stress that each step may not work, but that doesn't matter because the goal is simply to get you to interact with the problem.
- Be honest with people. People that know you, care about you, will on the whole actually be very supportive and do what they can within reason to help you.
- If the hypnotherapy isn't working then again, be honest. Otherwise it's just time (and money?) wasted. See what the NHS can do for you. Chances are they will prescribe medication but you will be waiting an eternity for counselling unless you are a very severe case in their eyes. So you should seek out a local specialist in your area. Be clear with them what sort of approach you think will work for you. https://www.findatherapist.co.uk/
Eighthours wrote:I'm 42 years old... it feels like I should be able to deal with this better.
Entirely untrue. Consider that trained therapists, experts in their field, older than you struggle with mental health. Wouldn't you agree that they are better situated than you to understand and deal with it? Yet, they also seek independent advice from other therapists.
Eighthours wrote:I'm a logical person but my brain is just being a total dick.
There is
no logic to depression or other mental health issues, so do not try and approach it from this angle, otherwise you may feel worse.