Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Karl_ wrote:I'm really sorry to hear you've been feeling so bad over the last fortnight, Laga. I know how scary and upsetting panic attacks can be. You 100% did the right thing by getting in touch with your GP. I hope that the combination of some medicine and talking it through with a mental health specialist helps you.

Sertraline is a good medicine to try for mixed anxiety/depression. It's likely to take a couple of weeks for you to notice the difference, just so you know.

Yeah, I'm sure your doctor explained, but basically St. John's Wort is itself a mild antidepressant (although it doesn't work as well as prescribed ones) and it wouldn't be good to take two at the same time.

Just so you know, if you continue to have panic attacks, particularly if they happen more frequently, you can ask your doctor about fast-acting medications that you can take to calm yourself down when one is happening.

Dual wrote:Hope you feel better soon Laga. You're a cool dude and you're going to make it. xxx

Thanks guys, it really does mean a lot.

The nurse did say that it may take a week or more for the Sertraline to start having any kind of effect, but I'm really hoping I don't need to be on it long term. If I do, then I do, but I'd really prefer to be back off it by the end of the year if at all possible.
I did tell them about the St John's Wort I'd been taking for a week, for the express reason that it was a mild antidepressant, so that was why they said to start the Sertraline tomorrow rather than today.

One of my other worries is what the waiting lists for counselling/therapy might be. Looking at it though there may be options through the healthcare provided by my employer if waiting lists are quite long, so that might be another avenue I can explore.

I had read about the faster acting medications, though unlike Sertraline those are addictive and only for short term use.


All I really want is to get back to normal, how I was just 3 or 4 weeks ago, and I'm really hopeful that the medication can help me deal with these symptoms, whilst working with a specialist can help me deal with the causes.

I can relate somewhat to crises over the realisation of mortality, they've had me wide awake pacing in panic late on many nights for pretty much as long as I can remember. It's partly why I like to go to sleep so late - if I'm overly tired then it's easier to fall asleep without thinking about anything. I cope better nowadays because I've convinced myself to rationalise the fear away, but it's always there.

Your situation sounds more acute Laga, it's good you're seeking help and hopefully things improve for you.

Everyone gets the mortality night frights (Not discounting your experiences, just trying to say you aren't alone).

Different meds work for different people, but sertraline doesn't seem to have done much for me over the past few years. Mind, I've lacked routine for that time; when I actually have a plan or go somewhere new I'm pretty on the ball, so that's good. When I'm just alone with my bad self, though, I'm pretty convinced I'm gonna have a stroke or a heart attack or develop cancer at any given moment, heh. Tip: If you go for a pint, don't go on the fruit machines. That way's a slippery slope that preys on anxiety and depression.

So I had my assessment call this morning and I am being referred for some therapy/counselling but they have no idea how long I might be waiting.
Essentially the place that gave me the assessment refer me but the place they refer me to won't contact me until I get relatively higher up the waiting list, and that's the part they can't give me any info about.

Fortunately though I may have options through my private healthcare with work, with potential access to therapy and no excess to pay, but I don’t know if they offer ongoing sessions or if it's basically a one off session.
So for now I've put myself onto the waiting list, and on Monday I will contact the private option available and discuss what options are available there. If they are able to offer me some ongoing sessions to help me through then I'll go with them and remove myself from the NHS waiting list to make room for others.

For what it's worth 100% private therapy isn't the bank breaking exercise it's made out to be in the media. In London you can find therapists who will do you £50 for an hour. I understand that ain't cheap, but £200 per month on my mental wellbeing was an easy choice to make at the time (and now I only see my therapist once a month).

That does sound reasonable and may not be that much in the North East. If work provides no suitable options then I'll certainly look into regular private therapy.

Of course now I'm panicking over a little red dot on my wrist. My medication mentions to go to A&E for red itchy rashes, but this one isn't itchy and I'm not even sure if it was there before I took my first tablet this morning. Now though my anxiety is making me jump to horrific conclusions like allergic reaction or meningitis, so I've decided to head to A&E, as advised by the medication, just to get it checked out for peace of mind.

For anyone who is tight on money, you can probably reach out to a therapist in another country too as most will be doing it remote.

E.g. my Polish therapist is roughly 25 quid a time, meaning my mental health has improved considerably for 100 a month. Her English is perfect.

Just something to consider for anyone who has money as the main stumbling block.

Rocsteady wrote:For anyone who is tight on money, you can probably reach out to a therapist in another country too as most will be doing it remote.

E.g. my Polish therapist is roughly 25 quid a time, meaning my mental health has improved considerably for 100 a month. Her English is perfect.

Just something to consider for anyone who has money as the main stumbling block.

Hang on this is the mental health equivalent of setting your Steam Store to Argentina to get games cheap.


(jk, this is a genuinely good suggestion)

So I went to A&E just to be safe and they said that the red dot on my wrist isn't a rash, and looks to just be a mole.
I feel kind of dumb for going and wasting their time, but at the same time I'm glad I did as I'd have just been worrying about it non-stop if I hadn't which would only have made the anxiety worse and not given the medication a chance to work properly.

The most surprising thing was that they took my blood pressure and it came back as completely normal. With the anxiety I expected it to be through the roof.

Then again I'd say that overall today is about the best I've felt in over a week.
I don't know if the Sertraline is starting to work quite soon, if it's just a placebo effect, if it's from the St John's Wort I was taking for the past week or some combination.

My 'trigger thoughts' are still there, but today they just don't seem quite so persistent and overwhelmingly terrifying.

aayl1 wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:For anyone who is tight on money, you can probably reach out to a therapist in another country too as most will be doing it remote.

E.g. my Polish therapist is roughly 25 quid a time, meaning my mental health has improved considerably for 100 a month. Her English is perfect.

Just something to consider for anyone who has money as the main stumbling block.

Hang on this is the mental health equivalent of setting your Steam Store to Argentina to get games cheap.


(jk, this is a genuinely good suggestion)

Lagamorph wrote:So I went to A&E just to be safe and they said that the red dot on my wrist isn't a rash, and looks to just be a mole.
I feel kind of dumb for going and wasting their time, but at the same time I'm glad I did as I'd have just been worrying about it non-stop if I hadn't which would only have made the anxiety worse and not given the medication a chance to work properly.

The most surprising thing was that they took my blood pressure and it came back as completely normal. With the anxiety I expected it to be through the roof.

Then again I'd say that overall today is about the best I've felt in over a week.
I don't know if the Sertraline is starting to work quite soon, if it's just a placebo effect, if it's from the St John's Wort I was taking for the past week or some combination.

My 'trigger thoughts' are still there, but today they just don't seem quite so persistent and overwhelmingly terrifying.

Good to hear man. Hope you stay on the up.

Little bit of a rough afternoon/early evening today.
I think that, because of the trigger of my anxiety, it's leading to some other things like being overly worried/scared about my medication. Basically any kind of physical sensation, like just any sensation around my chest, my mind is leaping to "Oh god is that one of the serious side effects of the medication that you're supposed to go to A&E or call an ambulance for?", even if it's just a slightly dull ache from where I've been leaning, or just the regular anxiety sensations I've been feeling for a few weeks, or just normal sensations I've always felt. Fortunately though that should subside as I continue to take the medication, as my mind will start to realise that "No, you're clearly not having some kind of horrific allergic reaction because you would've had it by now" and just the anxiety in general should hopefully subside which will keep me from jumping to horrific conclusions.

It doesn't help that my appetite is completely all over the place so sometimes I can eat a decent meal and other times I can barely get down any food at all without gagging.

The sertaline will make you feel worse before you feel better. Expect a while of bad appetite, insomnia and nausea. However, once you body adjusts to it there is a positive effect as it stops you falling into spiralling lows.

Lagamorph wrote:So I went to A&E just to be safe and they said that the red dot on my wrist isn't a rash, and looks to just be a mole.
I feel kind of dumb for going and wasting their time, but at the same time I'm glad I did as I'd have just been worrying about it non-stop if I hadn't which would only have made the anxiety worse and not given the medication a chance to work properly.

The most surprising thing was that they took my blood pressure and it came back as completely normal. With the anxiety I expected it to be through the roof.

Then again I'd say that overall today is about the best I've felt in over a week.
I don't know if the Sertraline is starting to work quite soon, if it's just a placebo effect, if it's from the St John's Wort I was taking for the past week or some combination.

My 'trigger thoughts' are still there, but today they just don't seem quite so persistent and overwhelmingly terrifying.

It doesn't tend to impact your blood pressure. It'll increase your pulse during high periods.

I've read through your posts and everything you've described sounds like you have OCD. I'm not a medical professional but I was diagnosed with OCD 16 years ago and have done a lot of reading on it since then.

For what peace of mind it can give, it gets better with time.

Remember that there are charities like Mind that can offer more instant help if you're in a crisis.

Thanks for the continuing advice guys, I really do appreciate it.

aayl1 wrote:Been feeling pretty low and apathetic these past few days. Just feel so bitter at the world and society, and feel like I have nothing to look forward to. Just not really enjoying being alive right now. Also resent having to work throughout all this and have been doing the absolute bare minimum.

I have felt that over the lockdown mostly. Also I dont socialise as much as I used to and find to hard to connect with those on my social media feed.

Had my private assessment today and it sounds like they're recommending an 8-12 week course of CBT delivered remotely via video call.

Hopefully won't take too long to get started, I'd really like to stop waking up on a morning and pretty much immediately being scared.

Good luck with the CBT - if you find it's not for you do look into a private therapist as that's the journey I took. Plus meditating (which in a way is a form of CBT, I suppose).

aayl1 wrote:For what it's worth 100% private therapy isn't the bank breaking exercise it's made out to be in the media. In London you can find therapists who will do you £50 for an hour. I understand that ain't cheap, but £200 per month on my mental wellbeing was an easy choice to make at the time (and now I only see my therapist once a month).

I'd say the same, I currently pay £72 per sessions twice per month (was every week) for ASC specific counselling and my wellbeing has improved quite dramatically. I've now got the funds to pay for it myself due to getting the right PIP awards so I don't have to constantly worry about getting on and off the treadmill of waiting lists. THere is a low cost waiting list but I just got fed up for 10+ years sitting on waiting lists, getting to a therapist and then being told nope we have no money/cause to help you lol

I called the free work therapist helpline other day just to really explore it and see what its about.

Chatted to some lady about my issues, and it's all the same really whatever I do. Please forgive me if this sounds like I'm moaning about small things, but I have done a few things and people always tell me I'm on the right track.

Last year I went to my GP, who felt I was level headed enough and positive enough and I was of the correct mindset to deal with things myself. This is good.

The other day I rang the telephone therapist and spoke to her for about 45 mins, in the end she came to the conclusion that although I am struggling, that my outlook and mindset is good enough that I don't need more or to be futher assessed, but the hotline is there if I need it.

It's odd. I feel this way myself. I feel like I do the right things, and I think the right way, and that when I'm calm and logical and think I'm able to deal with things.

But still I've found life and interpersonal relationships extremely difficult the past year or two. The other night I was just completely in tatters as I discovered girl who I had asked for space from has taken it to the next level and deleted me from every form of social media. I can't be bitter as then I'd be a hypocrit. But all I'd asked was to her not to text me for a few months, not to completely remove me from her life. I felt so overwhelmed and harshly done by, that I almost called her to talk/shout/whatever.

In the end I didn't, my brother convinced me not to. But it still hurts. I mean I'm the one who was hurting, and she's the one who's got the ex-boyfriend to spend time with and be consoled by, I don't have that. Of course, I know the last sentence is selfish and illogical, and she's just as likely to be hurt by me asking to stop contacting as I am by her getting back with her ex. But it's hard that she's dealt those blows when there was no need to. And it's hard that I cannot talk to her about it.