Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Thanks Qikz. Makes me feel a little better knowing it's okay to prefer my own company.

Honestly, if I won the lottery, I'd never leave my house and just become an Otaku.

Been feeling pretty crappy these last few days, it's not the complete mental health collapse i had in November, more just a feeling of despair (which wasn't helped by being faced with the sight of sofa bloke yet again watching me from his throne as i came home from town).

Up until recently, i'd been coping with this latest shutdown pretty well, but the longer it goes on, the more it's beginning to get to me. I'm also getting fed up with all the accompanying bs there seems to be in the media, the doom and gloom is endless and there always seems to be something stupid that people are getting their knickers in a twist about.

We live in such a grey, miserable, and po-faced society these days, all i want is a bit of freedom and (god forbid) fun.

Does anyone else run imaginary conversations through their head when they're worrying about stuff? I've been unable to escape my brain today and have been having imaginary arguments with my boss all day and now I'm bloody exhausted.

But now work is done I can finally shut it out.

I'm not actually hearing things though, in case that's what it sounds like! I just imagine what they would say and how I would respond back and forth.

Zilnad wrote:Does anyone else run imaginary conversations through their head when they're worrying about stuff? I've been unable to escape my brain today and have been having imaginary arguments with my boss all day and now I'm bloody exhausted.

But now work is done I can finally shut it out.

I'm not actually hearing things though, in case that's what it sounds like! I just imagine what they would say and how I would respond back and forth.

Yeah I run through a lot in my head and often find situations that would make me anxious playing over and over in my head - it especially happens if I'm worried about something, all of the worst possible situations will play in my head which makes me even more worried.

That's the effect it's had on me today. At first it was making me feel better but after a day of it, I just feel drained and much more worried about things than I otherwise would have been. Going to stick a game on now and reset myself.

Yes, I do that all the time, in the past, present and future. I'm unsure if it's a useful skill or not...

I think it's a really sharp, double edged sword. The rewards can be great when used correctly but the damage can be devastating.

Amazing what a difference a bit of sun can do for the mind. Spent my lunch break mowing the lawn and that hour in the sun was so uplifting.

Gotta watch out for skin cancer though.

I burnt 37 calories today on Wii Fit.

Tbh 12 minutes of light exercise felt pretty good.

I'm also happy the sun is out and it's my birthday soon which tends to mark the turn of spring. The world is still fairly miserable but at least there's that.

I realise how British this is.

Started 10mg escitalpro this week (had Lexapro a long time ago but was such a nomad it was impossible to keep up with prescription). Damnnn it's making me tired

Last edited by Qikz on Thu Mar 11, 2021 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

So I don't know if this is the right place for this but it's sending my anxiety through the roof - recently I caught feelings for a Japanese guy I met online about 3 weeks ago and things were going pretty well, it looked like we were going to be in an online relationship and the time I was spending with them made me really happy - but where I had 0 experience in any kind of relationship I was hanging about with them far too much and I guess I was smothering them. We had a semi argument on Monday with them saying that something needed to change because they were starting to hate me and they needed some space.

I've not heard anything back from them since then and the way it ended they left me with a message that could be taken 1 of 5 different ways and it's not even a language barrier thing because I asked one of my Japanese friends about it and they said they had no idea either. It's making me anxious because I genuinely felt happy with them and I don't want it to end, but it never really made it to the official relationship status thing, but it was kinda unofficial so it was kinda a thing. I openly told them about how I felt about them on Saturday and they said they felt similarly but they were not quite on the same level yet so couldn't answer my feelings and I'm worried I've completely strawberry floated it up.

I've stopped talking to them because I know they want space and I want to wait until they talk to me, but what if they never talk to me again? I've asked so many different people for advice and nobody seems to know how to deal with this situation. Some people are saying I should just ask about what my position is because no good comes from waiting, but what if I ask and that annoys them even more as they wanted space. strawberry float, why the hell did I catch feelings for someone online. It hurts so much right now and it's sent my IBS into overdrive as well with the anxiety. I feel like I've been repeatedly gutpunched.

The other thing I don't quite understand is I've never felt like this with anyone before IRL or Online and to make it even harder for me to understand the way I feel right now might mean I'm bi and I never knew which makes this whole experience even harder on my brain. I don't necessarily care if I'm bi, but I've never felt this way about a guy in real life or anyone so I don't really know how to process everything and I'm struggling.

Dude, I know you said 'person' at the start but you really should have lead with 'so I think I might be Bi'.

Skarjo wrote:Dude, I know you said 'person' at the start but you really should have lead with 'so I think I might be Bi'.

I changed my mind whether I should say it or not half way through and I didn't go back and fix it. :fp:

Corazon de Leon

All you can do is give the guy the space he's asked for and hope that he comes back and realises he feels the same way. Sending more messages or openly obsessing over him isn't going to force the connection to go both ways. It's a horrible, sticky wicket that you're in and I'm sorry about that - all the best mate.

If it were me, for now I would leave it until he got back in touch.

If it drags on for another two weeks or so without hearing anything you might then want to think about contacting him again with the intention to firstly check that he's okay, then explain that you need to have a conversation about your relationship so that you can come out with a clear understanding of what's going on. That might not be possible depending on his state of mind, uncertainty around sexuality, other circumstances etc but I think it would help to aim for that (if it gets to that point).

There could be cultural considerations I don't understand sufficiently to take into account that make this poor advice, but that's my take based on what you've written so far.

I think I'm going to leave it for a while, stop obsessing over something coming back. My step brother just gave me some advice of for now I should just act as if it's over and then if he does contact me back then I can be happy again, but if I cling to the hope I've got all that's going to happen is when I eventually give up the pain is going to hurt all over again. God this sucks, I went this long without ever feeling anything like that with anyone and then all of a sudden caught feelings for a guy when I thought I was straight (although given it was just an online thing and based entirely on discord/in vr I guess I can't even be sure if I am bi or not!). Life really throws curveballs at you.

I think the advice above on space is good, Qikz, and that you're doing the right thing now. It sounds to me like you didn't do anything wrong, but your feelings are stronger than his are. The risk is that by being very enthusiastic about him you've inadvertently come across as "needy" or "controlling", so you need to demonstrate you're not those things. Hopefully he'll miss you and let you know soon - if you don't hear anything then it's probably not going to happen, though you could follow up in a couple weeks to get a final answer if you wanted to.

When it comes to the question of if you're bi - well, a guy falling in love with a guy is pretty bi. But labels are for you, not for anyone else. It's something you might be discovering about yourself - you don't have to officially decide it and declare it, there's no deadline, you can just keep an open mind and go with the flow. For what it's worth, a lot of bi people find that once it "clicks" that they're able to see the same gender in a sexual / romantic way, they suddenly notice a lot of attractive people they had been kind of filtering out before. So maybe be open to having that experience, but equally, don't pressure yourself or worry about it.

Karl_ wrote:I think the advice above on space is good, Qikz, and that you're doing the right thing now. It sounds to me like you didn't do anything wrong, but your feelings are stronger than his are. The risk is that by being very enthusiastic about him you've inadvertently come across as "needy" or "controlling", so you need to demonstrate you're not those things. Hopefully he'll miss you and let you know soon - if you don't hear anything then it's probably not going to happen, though you could follow up in a couple weeks to get a final answer if you wanted to.

When it comes to the question of if you're bi - well, a guy falling in love with a guy is pretty bi. But labels are for you, not for anyone else. It's something you might be discovering about yourself - you don't have to officially decide it and declare it, there's no deadline, you can just keep an open mind and go with the flow. For what it's worth, a lot of bi people find that once it "clicks" that they're able to see the same gender in a sexual / romantic way, they suddenly notice a lot of attractive people they had been kind of filtering out before. So maybe be open to having that experience, but equally, don't pressure yourself or worry about it.

This, but with a sarcastic comment about hentai.

Like.... “Haha, drawings are simpler amirite?”

.... no forget it, just Karl’s post,

Never really written about it before Qiqz but I identity as pansexual/queer, I have flights of fancy or could possibly be in a romantic relationship with a guy like maybe you are describing, or possibly a trans person, although I don't really have sexual thoughts about that and I guess I have a preference for women. Perhaps because of the distance and the focus on more meaningful interactions than just what somebody looks like or gender norms / heterosexual bias in our culture, that has allowed your brain and your heart (or soul or whatever) to more openly consider those feelings and that's maybe pretty great! I like the phrase "gender blind" in that I don't really care what gender someone is if I love them and care about them enough to be "in love" with them and I'm sometimes attracted to members of the same as well as opposite sex. There's nothing to feel awkward or ashamed about here, sure it can be hella confusing but please feel free to openly discuss your experiences with thinking and feeling your way through that and you can also do that in the relationship thread if you like. :wub:

This situation really sucks, Staydead, I'm sorry. This sounds like it might be your first real heartbreak - I'm sure everyone in here who's experienced that has that feeling etched in their memory. I know I do!

You've been given some great advice already so I won't weigh in too much in that regard, but I did just want to comment to say how well you seem to be handling it - I'm sure you feel like an absolute mess but you are acting very maturely and not letting said feelings get the better of you - that's very respectable.

Also the sexuality stuff must be a real mindfuck but, again, you seem to be dealing with that with aplomb. A lot of people wouldn't have accepted that they were feeling that way about a member of the same gender and repressed those feelings but the fact you were even willing to explore them in the first place I think shows a level of maturity and self confidence a lot of people wish they had.

All the best with this situation. It sucks but this is the real character building stuff life is ade of and it's looking like you have a great character being built judging by your reactions thus far.

When it comes to sexuality, I definitely feel hetero in myself but I'm always keeping an open mind because you never know how you might feel a week, month, year, decade from now. That and I sometimes find myself undeniably attracted to some of the Queens on RuPaul.

I hope you get through this okay, Staydead. Much love to you.

Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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