Knoyleo wrote:I don't know about feeling guilt over enjoying a hobby, but I do experience a certain level of anxiety if I'm ever doing something that I can't identify a tangible benefit for other than "I want to do this because I enjoy it." It's like I feel as though my time could always be better spent by doing something that would provide some real self improvement, or benefit someone else. Ultimately, it often leads to me feeling dissatisfied with "selfish" hobbies when I take part in them, or putting pressure on myself to really enjoy them more than I should probably have any expectation to, in order to justify them, and ultimately end up resenting the time I spend on them.
I know full well this pressure to have hobbies that "add value" is socially ingrained, poisonous late capitalism, but it's a mindset I find nearly impossible to escape.
I get this a bit, but part of it's down to the fact I really don't like my job so I feel I need to be 'doing' something to try and improve the situation. While applying to jobs is fine, it's very 'passive' in the fact I have to wait for a job to be posted, so there can be stretches where I can't find anything to apply for. To counter this, I've started to learn some coding. It's something I already have a little interest in, and I oversee a developer during some projects at work so it does really help for me to know more.
Connected to this, my main hobby is working out. It has the perfect balance of 'in the moment' and 'long term' benefits for me that it pretty much ticks all the boxes of what's important to me. I do weights as well as running, swimming and cycling, and do running events and have done a tri in the past and hoping to do more soon. It reminds me a lot of gaming, things like RPGs or Civ where you can have multiple short and long term goals on the go at once so you can always feel like you're achieving something if you're a bit overly methodical like I can be. The endorphins and the improved appearance are a massive plus too. It also helps shut up the part of my brain that wants me to 'be productive'. Since I've completely knackered myself out, and overcame a challenge I set myself, I find it much easier to shut off for the rest of that day and just do something lazy at home (such as gaming, watching a film or TV show, reading a book, or listening to music or a podcast).
The main thing I feel 'guilty' about is I don't really do as many hobbies as I want, but that mostly comes down to time, money and priorities. I'm saving for a house, and don't drive, so it limits where I can go and how much I'm willing to spend - something I'm hoping to change when I'm ready to get my own place.