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Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:45 am
by Pell
Craig's List wrote:Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w

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Date: 2008-07-02, 2:35PM EDT



Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "strawberry float ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.



Location: Orlando
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 740493470




I was confused about the two holes comment until I realised it was for women only. *shudder*

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:54 am
by Memento Mori
Pell wrote:
Craig's List wrote:Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-07-02, 2:35PM EDT



Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "strawberry float ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.



Location: Orlando
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 740493470




I was confused about the two holes comment until I realised it was for women only. *shudder*

Me too. I can't imagine he'll get many volunteers.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:56 am
by Qikz
What the hell, does this guy really think he'll ever get anyone to do that for him?

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:57 am
by Memento Mori
StayingDead wrote:What the hell, does this guy really think he'll ever get anyone to do that for him?

Not women any way.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:04 am
by Mr Yoshi
Image

Christie, I'm not finished.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:07 am
by Dalagonash
Bahahahahahahahahahahaha

That's ridiculous... That guy has some strange fetish and I would be surprised if he's had anyone agree.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:07 am
by Nova
Erm...

Where did you find that? :|

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:09 am
by Joer
... I didn't think anyone would find that!

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:10 am
by mcjihge2
Image
I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:10 am
by Pell
Nova wrote:Erm...

Where did you find that? :|


I found it because...


It's-a-me!

*unzips*


Or maybe someone at work forwarded it on.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:12 am
by Nova
Pell wrote:
Nova wrote:Erm...

Where did you find that? :|


I found it because...


It's-a-me!

*unzips*


Or maybe someone at work forwarded it on.


Oh good. I thought you were looking for love.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:12 am
by Qikz
Image

"If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts."

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:14 am
by Memento Mori
This came from Craigslist originally, which is how two serial killers talked to each other in Dexter.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:18 am
by Albert
What I like about it, is not so much he's obviously a freak with a load of issues, but that:

no other conversation is allowed.


I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too.


You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"


If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.


I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.


The fact he's also a real insensitve dick about the whole thing.

Girls that want get strawberry floated up the arse by some bloke whilst playing Mario NEED LOVE TOO!!

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:52 am
by Twitchynipples
thats just warped

why would anyone want it up the warp pipe anyway!

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:31 pm
by Drawlight
What I love is how meticulously he has planned this. :lol: You'd have thought having sex whilst playing Mario would be enough, but oh no.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:34 pm
by TravelJug
mcjihge2 wrote:Image
I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom


:lol:

Man, that's just sick...it's SO getting forwarded around the office.

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:37 pm
by sw26
Image

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:55 pm
by Hexx
Nova wrote:Oh good. I thought you were looking for love.[/color]


I don't think this can be considered "love"

Re: Do you like Mario? Do you like anal sex?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:29 pm
by LewisD
Holy christ, this sounds like something Karlprof would write :D