Drunken Tales Thread

[Doug Rocket]

The night of my 22nd birthday. I had been going out with my then girlfriend for less than a month, and this would be the first time she had properly seen me get shit-faced. I'll just cut to what I've been told because I don't remember any of this;

- spraying passers-by with a half bottle of "champagne" given to me by the nightclub we were in
- playing air guitar on my knees on an empty dancefloor
- had to be carried from the club and shoved in a taxi with my hugely embarrassed ex, then I started shouting at some lads from the cab window "You Russell Brand wannabes! Look at the state of you!" (oh the ironing).
- tried to make my way to my front door, but decided to slump over the garden wall instead. The ex opens the front door using my key, leading me to call her a "strawberry floating magic bitch".

There are plenty more stories, I'm just cringing a bit too much thinking about them to bother typing them out just yet.

[JK]

Club Biscuit?

Yes. I was so smashed I mistook a chocolate-covered crunchy comestible for an indie-alternative club night.

Happens to the best of us, I'm sure.

[SC]

Most recent drink-related idiocy was at my lady-cousins party where we were mucking around in the pool a fair few months ago. One of her best mates (fit though) was flirting and stuff so we had sex in the shower after about five minutes of first 'talking'; most of which was really just her biting me, mutually touching and throwing a ball in each others' faces.

Turns out later she's a slag (you don't care about these things at the time, at least I didn't) so had to do the whole STI thing. Thankfully clean, and now a little wiser.

[JV]

Club Biscuit?

Yes. I was so smashed I mistook a chocolate-covered crunchy comestible for an indie-alternative club night.

Happens to the best of us, I'm sure.

Never happened to me, but I must be some sort of higher class drunken waste of space.