Getting a vasectomy

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:From your post history it doesn’t sound like you are going to settle down with one woman, so I’m not sure what the point of the snip would be?

Surely that would give it more of a point to prevent unplanned pregnancies with brief flings?

I obviously take precautions but mistakes happen.

If your being careful then mistakes are extremely unlikely to happen.

Condoms have a 98% success rate, realistically that 2% is far from inconsequential.

And actually that's not real world data, real world is 85%

Rocsteady wrote:
Condoms are gooseberry fool tbh

It sounds more like you hate wearing a condom than some actual concern over a condom failing.

With your history of casual sex, pregnancy will be the least of your worries if you start going bareback.

To your first paragraph, why not both?

And aye alright, amazingly enough I am aware of the pros and cons of condoms.

I'm absolutely sick of people telling me that I might change my mind and decide I want kids later, (I'm 30, so probably a bit late for that) or even worse that I'll 'Meet someone who makes me want to have kids'. Aside from being an insult to my current choice of husband, it's also heavily infers that it might benefit the man in my relationship more so than myself. Luckily, I don't have the need for sterilisation but I'd support the choice for any woman who has wants it, whether they're already a mother or not, (espeicially on the basis that their 'future husband may want kids' thereby handing bodily autonomy over to a male she's not even met yet?)

If people can make decisions to have children at 16 and live with it, despite the massive risks to the child and little options if you do change your mind, surely the decision to not have children which risks no person other than yourself, should be considered equally. Get the snip if you feel its right. It's not hugely expensive going private, and while you may get knocked back on the NHS now, you can at least start the ball rolling by enquiring now. I feel incredibly free knowing that infertility means I'll never have a little accident somewhere.

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:From your post history it doesn’t sound like you are going to settle down with one woman, so I’m not sure what the point of the snip would be?

Surely that would give it more of a point to prevent unplanned pregnancies with brief flings?

I obviously take precautions but mistakes happen.

If your being careful then mistakes are extremely unlikely to happen.

Condoms have a 98% success rate, realistically that 2% is far from inconsequential.

And actually that's not real world data, real world is 85%

Rocsteady wrote:
Condoms are gooseberry fool tbh

It sounds more like you hate wearing a condom than some actual concern over a condom failing.

With your history of casual sex, pregnancy will be the least of your worries if you start going bareback.

To your first paragraph, why not both?

And aye alright, amazingly enough I am aware of the pros and cons of condoms.

After your numerous stories of sexual conquests, you’ve said you’re thinking of a vasectomy to avoid pregnancy scares and stated that condoms are gooseberry fool.

It’s surely not a surprise that people wonder if the vasectomy idea is based more around the dislike of the feel of a condom than the actual fear of becoming a father? Sure it can be both, but a vasectomy is a terrible idea for somebody that wants to have lots of casual sex without a condom.

I’m sure you are aware of the pros and cons of condoms. But you’re the one who asked for advice.

Bunni wrote:I'm absolutely sick of people telling me that I might change my mind and decide I want kids later, (I'm 30, so probably a bit late for that) or even worse that I'll 'Meet someone who makes me want to have kids'. Aside from being an insult to my current choice of husband, it's also heavily infers that it might benefit the man in my relationship more so than myself. Luckily, I don't have the need for sterilisation but I'd support the choice for any woman who has wants it, whether they're already a mother or not, (espeicially on the basis that their 'future husband may want kids' thereby handing bodily autonomy over to a male she's not even met yet?)

If people can make decisions to have children at 16 and live with it, despite the massive risks to the child and little options if you do change your mind, surely the decision to not have children which risks no person other than yourself, should be considered equally. Get the snip if you feel its right. It's not hugely expensive going private, and while you may get knocked back on the NHS now, you can at least start the ball rolling by enquiring now. I feel incredibly free knowing that infertility means I'll never have a little accident somewhere.

I've asked to be sterilised after I had ella when I was 19, I was told I was too young and that I may want more kids in the future if i found the right man to have kids with. I was 19. I definitely didnt want more then and I definitely don't want more now.
I was then told that condoms and the pill were the best sorts of contraceptives until I wanted more children. I'm actually not allowed to be on the pill because of some medical issues it would cause me according to my doctor. I'd much rather be sterilised and not have to worry about having any more kids.

Rocsteady wrote:I think it was more the social conditioning of thinking I'd possibly like kids one day rather than any strong internal inclination.

Condoms are gooseberry fool tbh. I mean, I have managed to avoid any serious pregnancy scare for the last 12 years so should theoretically manage another 12 in a similar manner but I felt as though I'm getting to the age where if any child-rearing feelings are going to surface then they should be doing so already.

How have you managed the last 12 years without any serious pregnancy scares? For me I've navigated them with the help of condoms. Yeah, I've has longer term partners where we have used the pill, but a lot of sexual health management has come short term and from me using a condom. And like others have said, obviously a condom protects you from.mkre than just a pregnancy.

For me, it's more about the agency of choice. Yeah your initial choice to get the snip is going to be yours, but after the deciding factor is going to be biological. I'd much rather her that choice be left to me, at each point I sleep with anyone- whoever it may be - I'm making a choice at that time what I want to do. With the snip, you're effectively "preordering" that choice years in advance. And as you're in your late 20s, that could be a decade oeoew in advance.

It's not even about kids - it's fine to never want them - but more about whether this is a choice to be made now. I don't feel like it's a massively pressing decision that needs to be made, though I am someone who has never been that irked by sex with a condom.

For me, wearing a condom leaves you somewhat in control of your own sexual health and your own reproductive capabilities and leaves you flexible in the future. I feel like the snip might give you the short term benefit of being able to spaff to your heart's desire inside someone, but what other benefits are there? As vasectomies are also not 100% foolproof either? Yeah it's short odds on them failing but you can reduce accidental pregnancy to short odds too.

Believe it not I'm drunk right now, and I've just vehemently fought for Roc's right to spunk.

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:From your post history it doesn’t sound like you are going to settle down with one woman, so I’m not sure what the point of the snip would be?

Surely that would give it more of a point to prevent unplanned pregnancies with brief flings?

I obviously take precautions but mistakes happen.

If your being careful then mistakes are extremely unlikely to happen.

Condoms have a 98% success rate, realistically that 2% is far from inconsequential.

And actually that's not real world data, real world is 85%

Rocsteady wrote:
Condoms are gooseberry fool tbh

It sounds more like you hate wearing a condom than some actual concern over a condom failing.

With your history of casual sex, pregnancy will be the least of your worries if you start going bareback.

To your first paragraph, why not both?

And aye alright, amazingly enough I am aware of the pros and cons of condoms.

After your numerous stories of sexual conquests, you’ve said you’re thinking of a vasectomy to avoid pregnancy scares and stated that condoms are gooseberry fool.

It’s surely not a surprise that people wonder if the vasectomy idea is based more around the dislike of the feel of a condom than the actual fear of becoming a father? Sure it can be both, but a vasectomy is a terrible idea for somebody that wants to have lots of casual sex without a condom.

I’m sure you are aware of the pros and cons of condoms. But you’re the one who asked for advice.

It was you who introduced the idea of my promiscuity in this thread with your antiquated first post - just because I've been promiscuous in the past doesn't mean that I will be in the future. I glossed over it and just went with it to avoid the thread being derailed but I clearly stated I have a partner now- whether I've shagged 1 or 1000 people in the past has no bearing on the present.

And yeah, I do dislike condoms and don't want her to have to go through a hormonal process in order to continue having maximum sexual enjoyment.

Fight on parksey also, mainly luck, sometimes condoms and the woman being on contraceptives.

Thanks for all the input anyway folks, I think I'll sit on it a while longer before making a final decision.

female contraceptives can cause all sorts of issues

they are your balls and I think your choice whether you get them all tied up

fwiw jonnies dont bother me but I seem to be odd in that respect

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:From your post history it doesn’t sound like you are going to settle down with one woman, so I’m not sure what the point of the snip would be?

Surely that would give it more of a point to prevent unplanned pregnancies with brief flings?

I obviously take precautions but mistakes happen.

If your being careful then mistakes are extremely unlikely to happen.

Condoms have a 98% success rate, realistically that 2% is far from inconsequential.

And actually that's not real world data, real world is 85%

Rocsteady wrote:
Condoms are gooseberry fool tbh

It sounds more like you hate wearing a condom than some actual concern over a condom failing.

With your history of casual sex, pregnancy will be the least of your worries if you start going bareback.

To your first paragraph, why not both?

And aye alright, amazingly enough I am aware of the pros and cons of condoms.

After your numerous stories of sexual conquests, you’ve said you’re thinking of a vasectomy to avoid pregnancy scares and stated that condoms are gooseberry fool.

It’s surely not a surprise that people wonder if the vasectomy idea is based more around the dislike of the feel of a condom than the actual fear of becoming a father? Sure it can be both, but a vasectomy is a terrible idea for somebody that wants to have lots of casual sex without a condom.

I’m sure you are aware of the pros and cons of condoms. But you’re the one who asked for advice.

It was you who introduced the idea of my promiscuity in this thread with your antiquated first post - just because I've been promiscuous in the past doesn't mean that I will be in the future. I glossed over it and just went with it to avoid the thread being derailed but I clearly stated I have a partner now- whether I've shagged 1 or 1000 people in the past has no bearing on the present.

And yeah, I do dislike condoms and don't want her to have to go through a hormonal process in order to continue having maximum sexual enjoyment.

Fight on parksey also, mainly luck, sometimes condoms and the woman being on contraceptives.

Thanks for all the input anyway folks, I think I'll sit on it a while longer before making a final decision.

Antiquated? You’ve spent years telling us stories of your exploits across the world, don’t act shocked when somebody doesn’t assume you’ve settled down.

You didn’t clearly state you had a partner either, your opening post just mentions a “gf”.

But whatever dude, I’ve obviously rubbed you up the wrong way so let’s just leave it here.

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:From your post history it doesn’t sound like you are going to settle down with one woman, so I’m not sure what the point of the snip would be?

Surely that would give it more of a point to prevent unplanned pregnancies with brief flings?

I obviously take precautions but mistakes happen.

If your being careful then mistakes are extremely unlikely to happen.

Condoms have a 98% success rate, realistically that 2% is far from inconsequential.

And actually that's not real world data, real world is 85%

Rocsteady wrote:
Condoms are gooseberry fool tbh

It sounds more like you hate wearing a condom than some actual concern over a condom failing.

With your history of casual sex, pregnancy will be the least of your worries if you start going bareback.

To your first paragraph, why not both?

And aye alright, amazingly enough I am aware of the pros and cons of condoms.

After your numerous stories of sexual conquests, you’ve said you’re thinking of a vasectomy to avoid pregnancy scares and stated that condoms are gooseberry fool.

It’s surely not a surprise that people wonder if the vasectomy idea is based more around the dislike of the feel of a condom than the actual fear of becoming a father? Sure it can be both, but a vasectomy is a terrible idea for somebody that wants to have lots of casual sex without a condom.

I’m sure you are aware of the pros and cons of condoms. But you’re the one who asked for advice.

It was you who introduced the idea of my promiscuity in this thread with your antiquated first post - just because I've been promiscuous in the past doesn't mean that I will be in the future. I glossed over it and just went with it to avoid the thread being derailed but I clearly stated I have a partner now- whether I've shagged 1 or 1000 people in the past has no bearing on the present.

And yeah, I do dislike condoms and don't want her to have to go through a hormonal process in order to continue having maximum sexual enjoyment.

Fight on parksey also, mainly luck, sometimes condoms and the woman being on contraceptives.

Thanks for all the input anyway folks, I think I'll sit on it a while longer before making a final decision.

Antiquated? You’ve spent years telling us stories of your exploits across the world, don’t act shocked when somebody doesn’t assume you’ve settled down.

You didn’t clearly state you had a partner either, your opening post just mentions a “gf”.

But whatever dude, I’ve obviously rubbed you up the wrong way so let’s just leave it here.

No worries like, no hard feelings.

I do consider girlfriend/partner interchangeable though.

Rocsteady wrote:

Zilnad wrote:I don't think you'd even be granted a vasectomy at your age. I once knew a bloke with three kids who was denied the procedure purely because of his age. He was 29.

That's ridiculous.

There are ways round it, if you are refused. I’ll have a word with my mate Terry. He mainly does root canal work, but he’s flexible.

rinks wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Zilnad wrote:I don't think you'd even be granted a vasectomy at your age. I once knew a bloke with three kids who was denied the procedure purely because of his age. He was 29.

That's ridiculous.

There are ways round it, if you are refused. I’ll have a word with my mate Terry. He mainly does root canal work, but he’s flexible.

Won't a jolly good kicking in the nether regions be quicker and easier?

Vermi Claus wrote:

rinks wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Zilnad wrote:I don't think you'd even be granted a vasectomy at your age. I once knew a bloke with three kids who was denied the procedure purely because of his age. He was 29.

That's ridiculous.

There are ways round it, if you are refused. I’ll have a word with my mate Terry. He mainly does root canal work, but he’s flexible.

Won't a jolly good kicking in the nether regions be quicker and easier?

One of my mums friends managed to still get pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy (around 30 years ago).

Took several 'second' opinions from other doctors (and almost ended their marriage) to confirm he was the father, turns out the procedure wasn't performed corectly.

ianfianf wrote:Just use protection. You dont seem overly committed one way or another.

I've got a 3 year old and I can tell you that I shat myself when I found out it was happening. Genuinely cant imagine life without her now.

As someone else with a kid, can confirm that they are amazing. Having kids is not something I ever thought of before my wife said we should have one, but I think most guys are probably like that. It also makes the fears that a lot of dudes seem to have about having kids seem ridiculous.

For what it's worth in my 20's I never wanted kids and despite everyone's insistence that I would change my mind I never have. If anything I'm more certain than ever that being a father and bringing a child into this world would be the worst thing for me. Fortunately I'm not having sex and don't plan on it again so I don't need to have the operation. But if it's something you feel strongly about I'd at least investigate your options and if you're still sure then go for it.

Conversely, I was adamant I didn't want kids, right up until the day my partner announced she was pregnant when I was 33. No idea why my opinion changed but it literally happened within the space of a sentence and I have zero regrets (and a second child). For further insight, I had the snip last year and it was a bloody awful experience.

Festivus Maximus wrote:Get your bird to get the coil - they last for 5 years so if after that you still don't want a kid - then think about the snip.

It's apparently one of the most painful things anyone can experience, they can get infected and you can "poke" them depending on your size too And they don't last as long as it sounds; they have to be removed and replaced every 5 years, isn't it?

So you can guess the decision there.

I think both partners should take maximum responsibility for their sexual health and managing pregnancy, in far too many situations it seems to be either one or the other taking responsibility.

I also strongly disagree with the idea and definitely think there is a bias that women shouldn't get sterilised by their own choice. I know someone plagued by this opinion who is currently undergoing a huge amount of procedures for treating their reproduction organs that have basically gone completely nuts with infections and cysts etc, causing a huge amount of pain and so may as well get the entire womb removed anyway - and doctors are still being reticent about granting it because they "might want kids". How much do women have to suffer before they're allowed to undertake sterilisation? It's barmy how much pressure is placed on women to be ready and waiting for childbearing, and not surprised at all two females have come forward to comment on the same topic, (albeit for men, because of course, we only talk about men).

Green Gecko wrote:

Festivus Maximus wrote:Get your bird to get the coil - they last for 5 years so if after that you still don't want a kid - then think about the snip.

It's apparently one of the most painful things anyone can experience, they can get infected and you can "poke" them depending on your size too And they don't last as long as it sounds; they have to be removed and replaced every 5 years, isn't it?

I have never heard a coil being described as that painful going in (a quick Google seems to support this), and I think they can improve the period experience for some women as well. You're also absolutely not supposed to be able to feel anything sharp poking your bellend when you're having sex with a coil inserted.

My gf took it from a podcast on the subject of a woman describing her experiences while frankly talking about sex. And it was also mentioned in the Netflix Explained documentary that recently went up. But maybe they were just really sensitive. I have no idea.

It's also going to depend on shapes and sizes of all sorts of things, but it's hardly evidential information! I think some women are just not comfortable with the idea of a foreign body living inside their body for so long for that purpose, and like all contraception it's not a perfect solution. Personally, it seemed ideal to me as a man, but I hadn't really considered how uncomfortably and physically and emotionally traumatic that experience might be for a woman and the cost of that. Imagine dreading that procedure on a regular timeframe for the rest of your life. The implant is easier to remove (albeit with an incision) and has less negative affects than the pill and is no way near as invasive.

Yes bleeding is reduced and some women have horrendous period pains where they are curling up in fits of pain so there's that too (for both IUD and implant).

But whatever people go with, both partners should take the same amount of care. Different means of contraception can make sex more or less enjoyable for different people and of course there are side affects with none of them natural, so there's no answer for everyone.

GGs got a big D confirmed.