I have decided to rate each Snowman in 3 categories:
Style
Perceived Effort
Technical Form
Each will be rated out of 10. Using these 3 categories I believe we will have a definitive winner.
Alpha Ex's SnowmanStyle - 9Oozes originality. A rather stylised Snowman, dressed in what appears to be the latest hobo chic. Excellent use of peripheral items to create a convincing face. The setting of King's Cross Station adds a certain Londinium shine to proceedings.
Perceived Effort - 7 Clearly much effort went into this Snowman but Alpha did have help, delegating a rabble of local bus-stoppers to the cause, which shows excellent initiative but we can only guess how much of the construction was down to him.
Technical Form - 6.
Nice round head, but the triangular body is a very abstract take on the 'classic' snowman. The snowman is also tilting to the right, indicating its inner base is 15% hollow. Further deductions for evidence of grimey snow.
Overall - 22/30Zerudaaaaaa's SnowmanStyle - 10Instant high marks for the inclusion of a Fez. What we have here is a depiction of an obese Egyptian comedian who has just lost his car keys. The blade-like arms are an impressive serial-killer esque twist.
Perceived Effort - 9 I've never seen a Snowman as impressive as this. Zerudaaaaa looks pleased with himself in the photo and it's clear he spent a good few hours achieving such an impressively sized sculpture. Minor suggestions that the photographer lent a hand knock a mark off.
Technical Form - 10.
This is a perfect Snowman, in technical terms. The round body parts are of classic design. Classic carrot for a nose and above all, pristine white.
Overall: 29/30PsychoPriest's SnowmanStyle - 7You look at this snowman and you know it has attitude. The chic sunglasses hide the eyes of a Snowman who is cool. He's the Fonz of Snowmen. Sadly, we also see a conflict of style in the old man's hat. We see a middle-aged Fonz who is having a midlife crisis. Perhaps exposing himself to small children in a park.
Perceived Effort - 8 PP's enthusiasm for snowman building was evident with his earlier exclamation:
PsychoPriest wrote:I'm on it!
From this moment I knew we were going to get something that had heart in it. Heart cannot be understimated.
Technical Form - 7.
Decent, rounded Snowman, in sensible proportions. Well built, looks sturdy, perhaps a little short. Pipe and carrot bonus multiplier.
Overall: 22/30Alvin Flummux's SnowmanStyle - 10Who is Alvin Flummux? Perhaps we gain an insight into his psyche with this quirky entry. You look into its large eye and you see a vacant stare. You look into its smaller eye and you see pure evil. This snowman is nothing if not immensely unique. And for that reason, it may be the most special Snowman in the world.
Perceived Effort - 6 I imagine that Alvin made this Snowman one handed while simultaneously playing the latest Sonic game on his Gameboy Advance. However, let us not unnecessarily cast aspersions. Looks can be deceiving. We all know the story of David and Goliath.
Technical Form - 1The mishapen and deformed dwarf head, uneven and mis-sized eyes, un-matching twig arms, a body full of impressions and tracks. This snowman has been through the wars. This is not a Snowman. This is a Snowcripple.
Overall: 17/30Loire's SnowmanStyle - 6A most intruging and somewhat puzzling entry. The formation of this snowman appears to have entailed the mechanical connection of separate thick cylinders. It is impossible to tell if the carrot is a nose or a tongue. But this is more than a Snowman. This is a companion. You see the joy in both Loire and the Snowman's faces. They are friends. But wait. They are more than friends. Look closer and you will begin to notice remarkable similarities between Dr. Frankenstein and his monster. A son, born of his own image? The horror, the horror.
Perceived Effort - 8 Much love clearly went into this Snowman. Of that there is no doubt.
Technical Form - 6.
This is the leaning tower of piza of Snowmen, with Loire clearly having to support it with his own bodyweight. Marks for carrot usage. Evidence of grimy snow and a non-classic form. Good height.
Overall: 20/30Dr. Pepperman and Red - Sadly I cannot accept your entries as they were made on previous occasions, and not yesterday. A shame as they could have been a contenders. Come back next year.Joer's SnowmanStyle - 8This Snowman has my attention. Because it is not just one Snowman. It is a Snowman and his acolytes. On plinths. The twins are deformed familiars, always at their master's side, never flinching in their loyalty. An unsettling display, and a stark juxtaposition to the central figure, who's innocence could not appear with more clarity. Also, good replication of the
emoticon on his face.
Perceived Effort - 7 One can only assume that joer put more effort into the central Snowman than the acolytes. Whether this was part of a greater plan or not, we will never know. Nevertheless, the central display has clearly been carved with Joer-love.
Technical Form - 6This is by no means a classic Snowman display. It is here that the scary midgets detract from the main event. Where before they were an asset to the styling, here they are monstrous snow-atrocities. For shame, Joer, for shame. The central Snowman, however, indicates classic use of buttons and twigs.
Overall: 21/30LewisD's SnowmanStyle - 7You take one look at this Snowman and you think 'majestic'. You think THIS is a Snowman. Clearly influenced by Dickensian classic styling, the usage of the Pipe and Scarf encase a presentation that is akin to a fine Single Malt whisky. Perhaps not as quirkily adventurous compared to other entries, but what is done, is done fantastically well.
Perceived Effort - 9 Lewis appears to have put as much effort into this presentation as he might an exquisite meal for a fine lady. Attention to detail seems unsurpassed in the field. I'd trust this man to perform a heart bypass on me without a hitch.
Technical Form - 9Almost faultless. Would not look out of place in the British Museum. Brings a tear to the eye. As alluded to before, this is as classic as a Snowman can get.
Overall: 25/30remute's SnowmanStyle - 7Snowman? More like Rocket Snowman. Elton would be proud of this presentation. There is nothing here that convinces me that that head isn't going to shoot off into the stratusphere at any second. If anything, perhaps this is a freezeframe of the moment Zeus himself propelled his Lightning Spear towards the Earth? Or is it a giant cock with a face?
Perceived Effort - 8 At 7 foot tall, I perceive that this creation involved large amounts of graft.
Technical Form - 5Oh dear. Not anything like that Snowman in that film called the Snowman.
Overall: 20/30Ario's SnowmanStyle - 8Never before have I seen a Snowman as happy go lucky as this one. You could imagine him as the hero in the latest Disney flick. He is Nemo. He is Woody. He is Wall.E. He is Marty McFly. And what is this? Shoes? A Snowman with shoes? A touch of inspired genius.
Perceived Effort - 7 Another Snowman filled with love. This time, Ario-love. Great attention to detail with the hate and goggles.
Technical Form - 7Fairly close to the classic Snowman form. Somewhat dodgy moulding technique and outrageous nipples that the Daily Mail would scoff at mark it down slightly.
Overall: 22/30aaron's SnowmanStyle - 8One looks at this presentation and one at first assumes the Snowman is the only story. It isn't. This is a tale of love declined. A duty chosen over a romance. A tragedy amidst heroism. I look at the Snowman's face and I see a fragile but friendly visage. He is your Uncle. Your next door neighbor. You want him to give you a hug. As aaron rests his arm on the Snowman's shoulder, you feel that he is actually coming to life. The window obscured is perhaps an allegory for the current global warming threat.
Perceived Effort - 10 Noone wanted to win this more than Aaron. This became clear when I started receiving actual death threats if I did not declare him victor. This in itself shows real enthusiasm. But let's cut to the chase. The Snowman himself is a marvel. Seen rolling the main body across a barren landscape for what I would guestimate is a good 15 metres, you wonder if aaron will break his back conducting a task that would surely take at least 20 people to do in normal circumstances. Lastly, Aaron's red puffy cheeks denote that he put more effort into this than one might reasonably expect of an adult male.
Technical Form - 8The workmanship is brazen, if not smooth. Make no mistake though. This IS a classic Snowman. He's not the Mona Lisa. But he's not a Picasso either. The essential spherical shape is in place. CRUCIALLY, the main body was moulded in the classic technique of rolling and growing. Rolling and growing. Extra points for glasses, scarf, hat etc. All classic snowman modules that one would expect, nay demand from a technical standpoint. But the most impressive thing is the size and girth. This is a beast. A stable beast. That proportions were more or less maintained while escalating the height to such degrees is remarkable, nay impossible for the human eyes to believe.
Overall: 26/30Shas'la's SnowmanStyle - 8The moustache. It's all about that moustache. From this we can surmise that Shasla's Snowman is a bounder. A lothario spy who would put James Bond to shame. The faint, vacant eyes denote something more sinister. I feel so conflicted when I see its face staring at me. And Shasla's seductive stroking of the facial features is quite unsettling. But Art is supposed to challenge us in this way.
Perceived Effort - 6 One can only assume that the reason you can only see the top half of the Snowman's body is because THERE IS NO BOTTOM HALF. A deception so cruel as to sour this Snowman's place in the sun. Nevertheless, it is clear Shasla spent much care and precision on the head and decoration.
Technical Form - 6A grape for a nose? Unconventional. A lack of classic spehrical form is apparent. You see it trying to break through. This is the Cinderella of Snowmen. Come midnight, it might be as perfect as LewisD's entry. But will midnight ever come?
Overall: 20/30Sanctus's SnowmanWhat is this?
At 2am I received a distressed PM. A late entry to proceedings.
Mockmaster,
I ask that you reconsider your deadline of last night for the snowman competition of yesterday (2/2/09).
Whilst I'm aware that rules are there for a reason - the last thing I want is for chaos to rule "okay", as it were - I was at a soup kitchen feeding homeless puppies sustaining broth to help them through the cold days (the little scamps can't all stay in my house, the little scampy scamps!)
I merely ask that you give it a second thought as otherwise, I'll shoot myself right in the face.
Oh, just as an aside, my son just drew this picture and I thought it was sweet (I know, but the little scamp's in a wheelchair. I think that's supposed to be your hand, and I think you're supposed to be winking churlishly. Bear in mind that it was half two in the morning, and the little scamp was using a touchpad, the little scamp)!
Sincerely,
Starbreaker/Rasputin/Sanctus.
The picture drawn by Starbreaker's poorly son tugged at my heartstrings. I, too, was young once. So, I accept this late entry. Can it upset the Apple Cart?
Style - 10This is an Epic Snowman. Bar Zerudaaa's unequalled effort, it crushes all previous Snowman entries in terms of height. It is a Leviathan among Snowmen. Gargantuan. It can probably be seen for miles around. You can stare at it only in AWE. AWE. We all want to be Starbreaker in that second picture, hugging the form in worship. Bow down to its majesty. Do you see how his very jacket lights up with the energy coursing through the structure? Could it be that this Snowman houses the secret to eternal life itself?
Perceived Effort - 10 Are you kidding? Unparalleled.
Technical Form - 5Ok, we know it lacks finesse. But this, like Aaron's, is brute force Snowman, and that works in its favour. It even retains a semblance of the classic shape. You can see it in there. It's got an impressive scarf and twig pythons that Hulk Hogan would be proud of. It's going well. Surely we have a clear winner. There is, but one small...or should I say very large....problem. It has a massive erect cock and simulated hairy mega-bollocks. This is an afront to every happy family in the land that huddles around a pile of snow to mould it into a cuddly Snowman, having snowball fights, sliding down hills on sleds with huge innocent smiles on their faces. God knows how many children have wept streams of tears upon witnessing this corrupt Sodom and Gomorrah-esque display. Oh god, my eyes.
Overall: 25Winner, with 29/30: Zerudaaaaaaaaaaa.Seriously though, well done Aaron, who wins with 26/30. Please choose from one of the prizes listed on the other page.
Also, because I and it seems others enjoyed all your efforts, I will send out the Keeley Hazell poster to any of the entrants that actually wants one. But only if you're actually going to use it. Don't say yes just for the sake of having a prize.
Cheers and thanks guys, you all did GRcade proud!