1st minute: I enter the coffee shop and spy my prey. He is serving a customer ahead of me.
2nd minute: It is now my turn at the counter. I order a double espresso with a glass of water. I am close enough to touch my target. I can also see his namebadge. Chris! My target's name is Chris! Imagine the headlines, "Chris Found Dead at Hands of Internet Stalker". Nice ring to it don't you think?
3rd minute: After handing over my money I am given my drinks by Chris' colleague. Chris doesn't give me a receipt. Naughty Chris, he was supposed to (yes, I am in another branch of the coffee shop I work in, so I was judging his )
4th minute: As I take my seat, around ten metres away from Chris, he serves an elderly gentleman.
5th minute: Chris serves a cybergoth/cyberpunk fellow: tall, long straight hair, think he had goggles on his head but not on his face. Bellend.
6th minute: A bit of a queue is forming behind our Chris, and he doesn't seem to be rushing his tillwork to rectify this. Better hope there's not a secret shopper in there Chris!
7th minute: Chris is working very slowly - I'd get told off if I was this lackadaisical. He serves another elderly gentleman, maybe there's a bus trip.
8th minute: Cyber bloke returns to Chris to ask him where his drink is. Chris scuttles out with something resembling a cappucino, but it's hard to see from my vantage point.
9th minute: Chris finally gives a customer a receipt when they buy a bottle of Fanta.
10th minute: Chris serves a middle-aged man with a manbag, what a tool.
11th minute: I walk past the counter Chris is manning to get some sugar as my espresso is a little harsh. It is nice when drunk with water though, brings out the sweetness. I digress - Chris is serving a cake to a lady.
12th minute: Chris serves a man with a hat.
13th minute: Chris charges a man £4.25 for a cappucino and a cake.
14th minute: The queue has dissipated, and Chris turns away from the counter to fiddle with the whipped cream canister.
15th minute: Chris is chatting with his manager. She is smiling at him. She clearly doesn't run a very tight ship.
16th minute: Chris leaves the counter to go into the back room. As he is no longer in my line of sight, and my espresso is finished, I leave the shop, placing my tray on the counter to see if I could catch one last glimpse of Chris. Sadly I couldn't, but I believe I have fulfilled all my goals.