HDYFRN How Do You Feel Right Now?

One step at a time!

I mean... You steal the friend, the dogs come running, right?

DarkRula wrote:I mean... You steal the friend, the dogs come running, right?

rula thinking in 4 dimensions here

OrangeRKN wrote:Yeah getting permission for pets while renting can suck - hopefully if they can be classed as an assistance dog that would make a difference though?

Unfortunately getting an dog that's already trained as an assistance dog looks like it takes a lot of time and luck. I'd have to self train, and if I go that route I won't be able to get the benefits of it being an assistance dog until after it's trained and certified. It sounds like there's pretty much no room for negotiation on pets in council temporary accommodation and I won't even be able to keep my rabbit until I'm more permanently housed, which is most likely going to be at least a year. So sadly, it's a bit of a long term goal at the moment.

I'd love a Bernese Mountain dog or another big dog but we're only looking at small breeds for our first because we have a small garden and don't have a car (plus a small dog should just be cheaper to keep fed!). My future pack of a German Shepherd, Malamute and Border Collie remains a distant dream

It depends on what comes up as a rescue that is compatible for our situation but we've been looking at terriers mostly. There was an adorable mongrel puppy that appeared briefly the other day that unsurprisingly disappeared almost immediately, which was probably down to being a puppy.

All pups are good pups, but yeah, I've definitely always had the biggest soft spot for the big dogs. They're less practical in some ways, like you say, but if I am going to train it as an assistance dog, being bigger is an advantage, so I can justify it to myself :slol:

Been looking into it more and looks like you don't actually need to go through an organisation and have a dog registered to be an assistance dog (and actually there's no such thing as a register). If the dog is trained to do something to help with the owner's disability that's all that matters. It couldn't take long to train a dog to pick up dropped items and move obstacles out of the way, right?

Thinking maybe when my health and housing is a little more settled, I could just get a dog and by the time the council find out, it'd be trained enough that they couldn't throw me out.

That sounds super dodgy, but I've been genuinely struggling and asking myself if I may need to return to my family, and a dog could make all the difference.

I dunno what the council is like round your way, Minoru, but my mum kept a dog in a council house for a good ten years and we never heard a peep from the council. I can't see them being that stringent on it.

Good to hear from you, by the way.

Chocolate-Milk wrote:I dunno what the council is like round your way, Minoru, but my mum kept a dog in a council house for a good ten years and we never heard a peep from the council. I can't see them being that stringent on it.

Good to hear from you, by the way.

It's probably a good way off before I can get long term council housing, unfortunately. My support worker said almost all temporary accommodation is very strictly no pets and unless I can by some miracle get something privately rented, temporary is most likely my situation for the next year.

And, hey! Good to see another familiar face still around

Minoru wrote:It couldn't take long to train a dog to pick up dropped items and move obstacles out of the way, right?

I think the best thing you can do is probably talk to a relevant charity about your options? I'm not sure how specifically matched support workers are but I'd suspect a dedicated charity to your needs and/or assistance dogs might be more knowledgeable. There's obviously a lot that goes into training an assistance dog right from finding a puppy with the right temperament and capability. I'm not familiar with any of that myself but I'd be wary of taking a do-it-yourself approach as you could be putting more stress and responsibility on your own shoulders. I'm sure you'll get there, it just might take a while unfortunately!

No pressure to answer but am I right in guessing the low chances of finding private accommodation is down to a lack of income and the relatively high rent down there, while long term council housing has a long waiting list? Hopefully you will find that once you're more settled with health and the like you'll have more options. I can't imagine how frustrating it is though having to wait on these things and not just being able to get on with it!

OrangeRKN wrote:I think the best thing you can do is probably talk to a relevant charity about your options? I'm not sure how specifically matched support workers are but I'd suspect a dedicated charity to your needs and/or assistance dogs might be more knowledgeable. There's obviously a lot that goes into training an assistance dog right from finding a puppy with the right temperament and capability. I'm not familiar with any of that myself but I'd be wary of taking a do-it-yourself approach as you could be putting more stress and responsibility on your own shoulders. I'm sure you'll get there, it just might take a while unfortunately!

No pressure to answer but am I right in guessing the low chances of finding private accommodation is down to a lack of income and the relatively high rent down there, while long term council housing has a long waiting list? Hopefully you will find that once you're more settled with health and the like you'll have more options. I can't imagine how frustrating it is though having to wait on these things and not just being able to get on with it!

Yeah, I will see if I can find a charity that can help. The main ADUK charity isn't all that helpful because they mainly talk about getting a dog through one of their organisations and demand is so high their waiting lists aren't even open. It's something I probably need specialist advice on, so I'll wait and see how things go housing and health wise then make some enquiries, I think. TBH, I want a dog either way and it wouldn't need to do anything that needs as rigorous training as a guide dog, so I'm pretty sure I could self train - apparently a lot of people do because the wait for a trained and matched dog from a charity is so insane. The main question is what rights I'd have while the dog is in training and at what point I can call it an assistance dog.

Maybe I'll be housed more permanently by the time actually getting any dog is a real possibility anyway, but for now it helps me to think it might be possible in the not so distant future.

You're pretty much right about why private rentals have been a no go. I've found estate agents take down my details and sound pretty keen when I say I can cover a few months up front, but as soon as they hear I'm on benefits/not employed I never hear from them again. Others want a guarantor and won't even accept those guarantor services you pay for. When I first got to Brighton I must have called about 20 properties in a week. I'd been trying for ages back in Wales too.

That sucks that the lettings agents act like that, discriminating against people on benefits or based on employment shouldn't be allowed. Same with demanding a guarantor.

And fair enough on the dog training, these charities are obviously underfunded! It's definitely good to be positive and keep getting a dog as a goal.

OrangeRKN wrote:That sucks that the lettings agents act like that, discriminating against people on benefits or based on employment shouldn't be allowed. Same with demanding a guarantor.

And fair enough on the dog training, these charities are obviously underfunded! It's definitely good to be positive and keep getting a dog as a goal.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's actually illegal, but you can do strawberry float all because they don't say that's why, they just don't contact you again or give some bs excuses. I had one agent that was very keen, talking about contacting the landlord, specific dates etc, then asked about employment and it was a sudden about turn, got transferred to a colleague "for further details" and they told me the landlord had suddenly taken it if off the market that morning :roll:

It's super sad how hard it is to get a dog through the charities. As near as I can tell, if you manage to get on the waiting list, most use a lotto system from there. If the waiting lists were open I'd have put my name down back in July. And honestly, it sucks just as much that landlords, and especially emergency/temporary council housing, can be so strictly against pets - they can be such a big and important part of people's lives. Like, how strawberry floated up is it that someome trying to leave domestic abuse has to choose between leaving and keeping their pet?

So this evening I got back to my flat to find the lift out of order. My flat is on the second floor.

I spent 2 hours in the foyer trying to figure out what the strawberry float to do. Had to leave my wheelchair unsecured in the courtyard and struggle up the steps. I was already having a terrible day because I spoke to my mother yesterday and that was as awful as ever. I'm just so strawberry floating done with everything. My life is like something out of A Series of Unfortunate Events, just one disaster after another.

Sorry things have been bad today, Minoru. Hopefully tomorrow, things will perk up a bit.

Ridiculous that the council would put anyone who uses a wheelchair in a second floor flat in the first place. Hope things get sorted today and your wheelchair is fine! If the lift is still out of service could you get a neighbour to help bring it up?

You're definitely not having the best luck

Oh, yeah. It's indicative of an uncaring council that they wouldn't adapt to your needs by finding ground floor accomadation. Hopefully it is just a temporary thing and they prove to not be uncaring by finding you somewhere better.

So latest update, the incident with the lift shook me up pretty bad and I've been worried it could happen again but it hasn't (touch wood) and I've been just about coping. I discussed it with my housing officer the day after but got nothing more than a vague "we'll consider you if ground floor becomes available" and haven't heard a word since. I haven't even had a decision on my housing application yet, even though it's two weeks past when I should have heard if they are accepting a formal housing duty. So basically the council have been useless and I still have no idea what's going to happen or when. From the sound of it, I'd have a battle on my hands to get moved to ground floor anytime soon. Which is not something I'm really up to mentally or physically.

Anyway, today my support worker called and said they have refuge accommodation that's become available and they're offering it to me. It's in Eastbourne, so means leaving Brighton but it'd be a lot more accessible. It's good news and I am lucky to be offered it but I have some mixed feelings.

I can't deny I chose Brighton for a reason. It's nice to be in such a LGBT positive/progressive city after so long stuck in a... less than accepting environment. I'm also starting to get a few support things coming through and feeling more familiar with the city. I don't have real ties though and I'm completely worn down so getting a more stable and accessible place to live would be a huge relief.

The other thing I hesitate over is that it's refuge. My support worker is from a domestic abuse charity. My family were never violent or anything. The homophobia was pretty bad and everyone I've told details to is like, yeah, that's abuse, but I still have a lot of mixed feelings about calling it that. Getting help from a support worker is one thing, but accepting accommodation... I don't know. I feel a bit like I'd be taking it from someone who might be fleeing violence and need it "more".

I suppose the obvious choice is to take whatever I'm offered, but it does feel a little bit like giving up. I'm very, very tired. I feel so old and I'm not even 30.

I don't know any of your history, but I wouldn't see it as "giving up". It sounds more like a chance for a fresh start. A new city, a chance to meet new people and an opportunity to change your life for the better.

Exactly what Moggy said. Don't think you're taking it from someone who "needs it more than you do", it's been offered to you. This new place may have a lot more suited to you and your needs, which you may be waiting a long time for where you are now.

It's a chance to get a bit more stable in terms of life stuff, so take the help. It's going to be worth it. Quick help is better than no help at all. And don't let that guilt stall you into not accepting it. If everyone allowed that to happen, no-one would visit any support centres because of that fear.

Thanks all. Really appreciate your support.

I think my brain is really all over the place because I've got to go "home" for Christmas. Trying to compartmentalise and convince myself everything will be fine and normal whilst simultaneously making a decision on whether I'm going to take refuge from a domestic abuse charity it making my brain melt a bit.

I think I'm most likely going to accept it but I've got to check with the hospital tomorrow to see if it would impact my treatment at all before I decide for sure.

HDYFRN How Do You Feel Right Now?

Who is online

Affiliates