Hi everyone, I hope you are all well, I’m at a pretty major moment in my life and I’m about to either make my best decision or my worst, firstly I have lost my Bavarian home thanks to several factors but not helped by someone who I thought of as being my best friend royally ripping me off, property rentals = all gone, property development = ceased trading due to lack of money and making someone jobless after years of loyalty, import and retail businesses are massively failing and I’d say are down by probably 90% and everything else is failing, I’m hitting my 35th in a few days and I’m not in a situation that I thought I would be in at my age, I have become quite isolated and with out going into great detail my relationship of 13 years is quite a controlling, I have tried leaving in the past but have always gone back, I do love him but I worry for my future if I stay because right now if I left I would have no income, no house etc
I have a small amount of money set aside for emergencies and I was going to use this to rent somewhere and live until I found employment, I did however think that if I did this I would be in a empty house, miserable and bored and likely to go back after a few days, my other idea was to leave all of a sudden one morning and go somewhere on holiday so that I can’t just go back and I would be occupied, I’d normally go to Bavaria but after recent events I would rather not
On a impulse a few days ago I have booked a luxury villa in Orlando for a whole month along with a hire car and flights leaving on the 1st of September and I am going to buy a ticket for all the parks and with spending money it’s going to run into five figures, I have already paid for the villa, flights and car, I now really don’t know what to do, I’m really nervous about travelling on my own (I didn’t used to be and I did love going on holiday on my own but it was always in Europe) I don’t know if I can leave my partner, I have got incredible guilt because I’m acting normal like nothing is wrong and it’s like I’m lying, I worry that he won’t cope without me and I worry I won’t cope without him, I can’t cancel or I can and lose all that I have paid, I told my parents we are splitting up because I have given their address for any documents to be sent to although it’s all done online now, I have everything printed off and even picked my seat and have my rental car ready so I don’t need to go to the desk,
I might make a narcissistic thread about it so I can give updates