Impostor syndrome - do you experience it?

Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

I didn't know this was a thing until recently, but it's something I've experienced a lot as a creative. When I got made redundant, looking though other people's portfolios made me feel like utter gooseberry fool because it was all head and shoulders above what I could ever achieve. Now at work I'm having a really bad bout of it, where I've been feeling like a fraud for months now. I'm constantly in fear someone is going to stop and go, "hang on, the hell are we paying this guy to do THIS for?". It's horrible and make me feel like gooseberry fool. Then on the other hand I'll have a good day and feel essential and there's no one else who could do what I do.

Doesn't everybody feel like this to an extent?

Constantly.

I kind of get that, but then I look around at work and literally everyone else is making stuff up and flying by the seat of their pants, as it were, and I feel a bit better.

Everyday. Just gotta work through it.

I think it comes with creative work, probably because it's hard to quantify your output. You're not churning out X amount of things an hour on a production line kind of thing.

I get it a lot with my art work which I do as a part time/hobby but never really with my main job as an engineer.

Yep all the time.

One of the great lies of childhood (or at least one of the core misconceptions that everyone fails to correct) is that "grown ups" know what they are doing and that feeling of being uncertain of your place and purpose in the world will one day be replaced by clarity - you will know who you are, what you are doing and know how to deal with it.

To varying degrees we are all just making gooseberry fool up as we go. As long as someone isn't just straight up lying about their qualifications or ability to do a job then I think it's all good! :lol:

Statistically one of you probably is an imposter and should feel bad about it.

Rest of you are fine though.

Maybe.

No, but I question my performance from time to time. But I think that's a good thing and anyone who does that is already one of the better performers. The amount of people who simply have no concept of what is expected is unbelievable.

As I kid I wouldn't say I worried but felt that everyone who had a job was good and it and knew what they were doing and I wasnt sure if I could meet those standards.

In reality most people are thick and haven't got a clue. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.

Sometimes, Ive always worked in QA and working with some seriously talented developers can make you doubt how you even got a job when compared to these geniuses. Thankfully theres usually something that popped up that only I could take care of to remind me why I was there.

Also Ive been working in my current company for a little over 18 months now, I was hired as the companies first QA tester and Im now the QA manager hiring a team of engineers to work under me. Its pretty daunting and I do sometimes wonder when Ill get a tap on the shoulder and called into an office for a chat or something. But again theres enough instances of me contributing and having knowledge that others dont to help reassure me that Im doing a good job and Im sutied to the role.

This is basically daily life working in technology. It feels like everyone around me is a genius and I have no idea what I'm doing.

Fake it till u make it bro

I have bouts of this from time to time, but then I'll have a day where I just smash it and prove my worth and it sweeps the dread away for a while.

Doubt it'll ever fully go away, I always still feel like I'm a spotty 16 year old fresh out of school, even though I'm in my 30s and have a mortgage, a wife and 2 kids and am clearly a "responsible adult".

Preezy wrote:Doubt it'll ever fully go away, I always still feel like I'm a spotty 16 year old fresh out of school, even though I'm in my 30s and have a mortgage, a wife and 2 kids and am clearly a "responsible adult".

That’s exactly how I feel. I find it hard to believe I am almost 40 and that I left school so long ago. :cry:

Pretty sure this is standard for developers.

It's both personally reassuring and generally worrying to realise most people feel like this. I liked it when I was little and thought that the people in charge of things knew what they were doing.

Sometimes I worry that I don't work as hard as the rest of people on the team but then I just chuckle, remind myself I'm being silly and get back to browsing Grcade.

non strawberry floatin stop

its crazy when you are dealing with a kid too, you realise how much your parents were just winging the entire thing

False wrote:its crazy when you are dealing with a kid too, you realise how much your parents were just winging the entire thing

Yep, we are basically all just making it up as we go along. :lol:

I often think that my parents must have been more “adult” than me I have no idea what I am doing half the time. I am fine with the fun dad parts, but everything else just makes me feel like a fraud. My parents were a hell of a lot younger than me as well, they either grew up quick or were brilliant actors. :lol:

I have had this often and was one of the reasons I stopped doing my last job and asked to be moved back to my previous job

Corazon de Leon

I also have this, really badly. I feel stupid speaking to other academics, particularly, to the point where I can’t hold conversation with them and tend to avoid interaction at conferences etc. I also have not applied for quite a few jobs because I know I won’t be considered, and even if I did fluke my way in I wouldn’t be good enough.

Impostor syndrome - do you experience it?

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