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Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 2:25 pm
by Tafdolphin
Preezy wrote:Taf, very illustrative
TLJ was utter gash though
The struggle is mercifully short. As the crystalline pearl slides into the infernal Jar, with it go the screams and the caterwauling and the pain. Silence settles on the world like a blanket and I release my grip. The Jar shutters itself with a whispered curse and its cruel warmth fills my heart. The body seems to float to the floor, defeat written across its posture like an unholy sermon. I force back another laugh and make out into the night.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 2:27 pm
by Preezy
Tafdolphin wrote:Preezy wrote:Taf, very illustrative
TLJ was utter gash though
The struggle is mercifully short. As the crystalline pearl slides into the infernal Jar, with it go the screams and the caterwauling and the pain. Silence settles on the world like a blanket and I release my grip. The Jar shutters itself with a whispered curse and its cruel warmth fills my heart. The body seems to float to the floor, defeat written across its posture like an unholy sermon. I force back another laugh and make out into the night.
Rose was a gooseberry fool character, such a stain on the legacy of a once-great franchise
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 2:38 pm
by Tafdolphin
Preezy wrote:Tafdolphin wrote:Preezy wrote:Taf, very illustrative
TLJ was utter gash though
The struggle is mercifully short. As the crystalline pearl slides into the infernal Jar, with it go the screams and the caterwauling and the pain. Silence settles on the world like a blanket and I release my grip. The Jar shutters itself with a whispered curse and its cruel warmth fills my heart. The body seems to float to the floor, defeat written across its posture like an unholy sermon. I force back another laugh and make out into the night.
Rose was a gooseberry fool character, such a stain on the legacy of a once-great franchise
A special night this one. The Jar has become a part of me, as inseparable from my own flesh as these eyes that now, unbidden, begin to water. But tonight, it is not enough. A dread chill runs through me as I loosen the straps on the black box. The device moves as if possessed of some hellish locomotion and in fear my hands stumble. The lid of the Thing yawns open for but a second:
"Four female Ghostbuster? My childhood is RUINED!"
"A woman Jedi? UUUURGH!!"
"I'm not sexist, women just aren't as funny as MEN ARE!" With all haste I slam shut the jaws of the box. Three wisps of canker green smoke escape into the night, work for another time. But now...now I must see to
this one.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 2:40 pm
by Frank
Rose was great, don't lie.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 2:41 pm
by Moggy
TLJ had its problems, but overall it was a decent enough movie. It’s far better than the three prequels at least.
ESB>NH>TFA>RoTJ>TLJ>TPM>RoTS >death >AoTC
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 2:44 pm
by 7256930752
Tafdolphin wrote:Hime wrote:Tafdolphin wrote:Hime wrote:I honestly don't know how someone could be disappointed by Dunkirk and The Dark Knight Rises yet defend The Last Jedi so passionately.
Are you sure you watched the opening scene in TLJ?
I did. And I laughed. Not just at the perfectly acceptable humour but at the inevitable tears from those not possessing of sense or perspective, who would cry from the rooftops their tortuous disdain. And as the hearty, clapping waves pearled from my throat I was content, for I saw the exile before me, looked into its eyes and spat my laughter in its face.
Yeah your right, it's a sense of perspective that stops the awful humour from being good.
On the plus side you must get a great deal of satisfaction out of literally any comedic moments in film. I would imagine the lack of any sort of controversy would negatively affect your enjoyment though.
So soon the hour rolls around again. I rouse myself from an ever deepening slumber and stumble to the fireplace. With trembling digits I extract the Tear Jar from its awnings, smoothing the dust from its hellish surface. I smile mirthlessly at the darkness.
Harvest time has come.
Progress at least that this attempt at controversy creation has just gone all out obnoxious without the need for all the self righteous patter.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 2:57 pm
by Tafdolphin
Hime wrote:Tafdolphin wrote:Hime wrote:Tafdolphin wrote:Hime wrote:I honestly don't know how someone could be disappointed by Dunkirk and The Dark Knight Rises yet defend The Last Jedi so passionately.
Are you sure you watched the opening scene in TLJ?
I did. And I laughed. Not just at the perfectly acceptable humour but at the inevitable tears from those not possessing of sense or perspective, who would cry from the rooftops their tortuous disdain. And as the hearty, clapping waves pearled from my throat I was content, for I saw the exile before me, looked into its eyes and spat my laughter in its face.
Yeah your right, it's a sense of perspective that stops the awful humour from being good.
On the plus side you must get a great deal of satisfaction out of literally any comedic moments in film. I would imagine the lack of any sort of controversy would negatively affect your enjoyment though.
So soon the hour rolls around again. I rouse myself from an ever deepening slumber and stumble to the fireplace. With trembling digits I extract the Tear Jar from its awnings, smoothing the dust from its hellish surface. I smile mirthlessly at the darkness.
Harvest time has come.
Progress at least that this attempt at controversy creation has just gone all out obnoxious without the need for all the self righteous patter.
My breath came in ragged bursts, my throat ripped and torn. Though they saw, they had not heeded the words. Blithely one stood before the throng. To his forehead was pinned a crude image of a man, his hand curved into a circle, digits extended. The sign of the Nemesis. From the figure's mouth poured a torrent of sound; unintelligible nonsense that rattled the bones and smote the earth. No-one there gathered understood his ranting but himself, and he alone appeared satisfied with the tirade.
I readied myself. My arms shook and my chest heaved but I was prepared. Tonight would be the death of one of us, of that I was sure. I tensed and made ready with The Jar.
Before I could act the world itself was torn asunder. The ground rose in a torrent and curled beneath the lone figure as a mother beckoning an errant child to its bosom. A million ghouls wailed in pain, a thousand worlds exploded in a haze of light and heat and a dozen gods shattered before me. The figure was consumed by the Light, the image upon his head twisting and burning. Before he sunk below, returned to his place in the Cosmos, the Light entered his mind and I saw a terrible realisation wash across his face:
"The whole thing...the story entire! It...was in good humour?!"
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:07 pm
by Preezy
If only TLJ was as well written as your posts.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:08 pm
by Moggy
Preezy wrote:If only TLJ was as well written as your posts.
Jokes on you Preezy, Taf’s girlfriend is writing those posts.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:09 pm
by Tafdolphin
That was fun. Thank you to my muse Hime, and his terrible, terrible opinions. And Preezy with his slightly more knowing ones.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:09 pm
by Moggy
I was joking of course. Women couldn't write like that.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:12 pm
by Vermilion
Moggy wrote:TPM>RoTS
Nah, Sith was better than Phantom Menace, Ian McDiarmid's performance alone achieves that.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:12 pm
by Preezy
Tafdolphin wrote:That was fun. Thank you to my muse Hime, and his terrible, terrible opinions. And Preezy with his slightly more knowing ones.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:22 pm
by Moggy
Avengers: Infinity War – 9/10
I loved it, a great comic book movie and finally a really good bad guy for the Marvel universe.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:23 pm
by Moggy
Vermilion wrote:Moggy wrote:TPM>RoTS
Nah, Sith was better than Phantom Menace, Ian McDiarmid's performance alone achieves that.
Nah, the pod race alone beats Ian McDiarmid.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 4:31 pm
by 7256930752
Tafdolphin wrote:That was fun. Thank you to my muse Hime, and his terrible, terrible opinions. And Preezy with his slightly more knowing ones.
I assume your going deeper than TLJ with this sick burn
Your facade might be more palatable if it wasn't tainted with this smug arrongance all the time.
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 4:33 pm
by Tafdolphin
Hime wrote:Tafdolphin wrote:That was fun. Thank you to my muse Hime, and his terrible, terrible opinions. And Preezy with his slightly more knowing ones.
I assume your going deeper than TLJ with this sick burn
Your facade might be more palatable if it wasn't tainted with this smug arrongance all the time.
Gemini73 wrote:Yes your are a sanctimonious twat
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 4:46 pm
by Gemini73
Have I missed another meeting?
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 9:53 pm
by Hexx
Deadpool 2 - 3/5
Suffer from
sequelitis. Yeah not as good as the first but by no means a bad film.
No end credits btw - but 2 mid credits
Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 10:09 pm
by Ironhide
And thus ends the lesson in why we don't bother arguing against Taf anymore.