I thought this was excruciating. The great success of Marvel seems to be convincing people that the gibberish nonsense their characters spend 80% of their films spouting is worthy and of importance. Because the actors are beautiful, and the music is forceful, and the production values high, and the overwhelming acclaim tells you this is not to be mocked and laughed at. I don't mind gibberish! I don't mind any nonsense. As long as it's fun, as long as it's not boring.
This is not for me, fine. I was asked to go. After Civil War was like watching two metal blokes spend 5 hours trying to punch each other into another dimension, I swore i wouldn't put myself through it again.
I was so close to leaving the cinema with this, so close to not being able to take listening to such incomprehensible pointless wank. Half way through where it felt like languishing in some kind of hellish limbo state, not knowing how close you are to the end, it dawned on me; no strawberry floating way do people not already extremely invested in Marvel enjoy this rubbish. No way. Not buying it whatsoever. I temporarily in the cinema left my physical body and hovered high up, imagining what exactly is going in the mind of others at this point; what are you comprehending what I am not? Can others just absorb boredom better than me?
I was so strawberry floating bored i started thinking how i'd phrase this tedium in words. Then i was wondering i should shave my beard, it's at that point now where the hairs are too dry and i was thinking i don't want to shave it too short. You get different lengths to shave at but it's best when the hair hasn't already come out. I'll try something anyway.
...adopted daughter made up subplot to give FEELS can strawberry float off, is still boring, fast forward please for the love of life get a move on and get to the point or inevitable fight scene at the end.
It's just...exposition is said to be bad writing in other films. Show, don't tell, right? Yet this is about 80% exposition. It's probably the most predictable film ever made. It jumps around introducing the same arseholes from the other films as they eventually have a fight with some metal men with metal spears or stumble over what a Thanos is.
I'm not just extremely wary of other peoples tastes anymore, but their actual credibility as convincing human beings. I don't mean this in an insulting way, there's a few instances where i'll never ever understand the thinking. And it's not just with entertainment. Just generally. Like, the all consuming, relentless hatred people have for Jeremy Corbyn. Or mentioning homelessness to people and getting the response; 'they're pretending, they're well off, do you know I once saw one with a Berghaus coat, and a phone. A phone!'
You know? You feel detached from reality. Who are you? What is this? I can try to understand the psychology, I'm not going to just assume I'm in a simulated reality and your code has malfunctioned, I will give the benefit of the doubt.
The way i find Marvel films boring is the way some find The Lord of The Rings boring. Which annoys me, because i know those who might say that also like some really strawberry floating boring slow films. The difference is, and i neither have affection for the book or medieval fantasy in general, is that LOTR grounds it all in a reality. It's not got space hopping aliens. Its orcs are created. Its wizards ride horses. The story is epic and powerful, the idea of a ring that grants power that even good wizards won't go near in case they turn to the dark side and try to rule the world with it. That's really evocative.
Journey to destroy the ring where it was made, to be undertaken by these little hobbits that can go undetected and are so humble and jolly the lure of the ring's power won't work the same on them. They're from a small village, you watch them as make their way across all kinds of terrain and defeat all kinds of foes. It tapped into the sense of wonder and discovery i got as a kid from The Never Ending Story, Labyrinth and Krull. I heard about these big battles and got a massive kick out of seeing them. More than that, i had NO IDEA where their journey would take them, NO IDEA.
What does Avengers and its never ending series of events have? A blue alien guy with some stones that grant him the power to wipe out half of a planet's population, but he wants the full set from some guys on Earth so that he is granted even more power to do the same thing more efficiently and humanly, so he can erase people painlessly and spend more time sleeping.
It's like a strawberry floating master system game. strawberry floating really? The whole rhetoric of 'yeah, populations can't cope when over populated, need to be culled' can strawberry float off. From films, comics, life. The baddie in gooseberry fool cgi blockbusters who have a hard on for genocide can strawberry float off as well. I know our heroes fight heroically against such tedious declarations, but it counts as propaganda to continuously suggest it's the solution. I'm bored of aliens visiting Earth and saying we need to be wiped out for the benefit of the planet/universe. Again, it's subtle propaganda, where people can only view each other as parasites on resources.
The way people absorb the nonsense of these films made me think whether they'll come a point where we look back in despair and horror. In the same way future historians will look back at this post millennium phase of human life and be embarrassed and ashamed. They might think; really? They just...carried on doing the same things? Even though...and they didn't change at all?
Then they expand their research to the most popular films of the time, watch all the Marvel films and think; oh, it makes more sense now.
1/10.
my rating system has 1 defined as 'a slog', which it was. I spent 2 hours wanting it to end. But, I'm generous, I take the good from films. Some humour, some good set pieces, good tension, whatever. This had nothing.
Saw this today, teenagers at the back were chatting about a 'puppet on a string' within 5 seconds of the film starting, then someone yelled 'yo, shut up', and they did, although another group of teenagers turned up late and didn't get the memo to be as quiet as the characters are in the film, but they were mostly alright. Except one going 'a lot of pressure' in the most crucial dramatic moment in the film with Blunt and that guy in the US office, if anyone can guess which that was.
The spaceship annoyed me too to be honest. Obviously the writers have thought a lot about it, i don't buy they would walk ahead of their youngest on what seemed like a rare family excursion out. And don't buy they'd tell their kid no and then leave him with the temptation of denying their word. But mistakes! people! In their mega heightened state one false move you will be scythed to death i don't think people are loose with their actions. And then the daughter again leaves the kid with the temptation. I just kind of, almost, rolled my eyes at the attempt of attaching an emotional core to the film, and knowing its dramatic moment at the end and then working backwards to contrive how it occurs. Daughter had to be responsible, had to feel dad blamed her, had to be moment of kids being trapped unable to escape without epic self sacrifice from dad to show his love. But what film doesn't do that. Why not throw a rock or make sure you carry something at all times to act as a distraction? Like fireworks, which they have.
still liked it, the cgi was surprisingly good, the bathtub scene was completely wasted and anticlimactic, there's more in it than It Comes At Night yet i was more engrossed by that. Maybe just the circumstances of how I watched it, on my own in my van in Berlin at 3am.
6/10
Ready Player One
Was quite taken with the opening, it didn't feel as generic as the trailers suggested, and it has an elegance to the camera work that was very Spielberg. Stood out to have actual piled up smashed cars in the junkyard as it contrasted against the CGI shanty town we'd just seen. Then the virtual reality introduction was swift and neat, or just not outright bad. By that point i could just take it as VR: The Movie. The promise continued to the first race, which was somewhat surprising too for its lack of music, although I did think; perhaps sat behind the luxury seats rather in front of them would have been better with how zoomed in the camera is.
The trailer is such an overload yet the film isn't, there's only two action sequences...no three. I don't think any are worth seeing particularly, nor is it like the film spaces its action out to let each breathe. There's a wait before the inevitable final big action sequence that feels like it lasts for 20 minutes. That killed all my enthusiasm and I just wanted it to end. By that point it turns full generic and the loud forced music plays over any action. It really did feel 2 hours 20 minutes long, it teases its end multiple times.
I didn't like The Shining homage. Ruins a classic for kids who haven't had a chance to see it, and just bastardizes it. Didn't fit to take something pure and arthouse (yeah) and place it in this trashy pop culture film. Hate the dilution of iconic scenes. If you respect the timeless quality Kubrick strived for then you avoid hacking at it for cheap gags. I don't care if the two were mates, or how faithfully recreated it was. How would Spielberg appreciate it if someone remade Schindler's List and had mecha Godzilla stomping through the scene with the girl in the red coat.
There was a Spielberg edited Empire around 2005 where in one section directors asked him questions. Francis Ford Coppolla basically said; 'why don't you make personal films?' Spielberg replied with something like; 'oh but I do !'
Don't see much point in a director adapting to the screen books someone else could easily make. His Ready Player One is a little better than what McG could have done, but he could have produced this like Transformers, wanted it just made. What of themselves in terms of ideas is a director giving to the world if they just adapt either previously visually adapted material (Tin Tin, War Horse, The BFG) or stuff so generic it results in something of a formulaic nature like so much of the blockbusters we get today. It has a slightly different quality that eeks out to remind you the man helming this is a born filmmaker, and not a hack.
This film didn't do anything creative did it? Think hard about inspired moments that ..delighted you. Probably just that central homage (in spoilers) which is not a good thing. When you rely on greater material to poke fun at.
WHY DO REVIEWS AND COMMENTS OF INFINITY WAR KEEP SAYING THERE IS LOADS OF ACTION LIKE NON STOP ACTION THERE'S NO strawberry floating ACTION IN IT WHAT THE strawberry float IT'S JUST MIND NUMBING TALKING FOR HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS. SO MANY HOURS IT strawberry floating ANNOYED ME THAT I KNEW ITS RUNTIME RAN LESS THAN 3 HOURS, I KNEW IT, YET IT DIDN'T ALTER THE CHRONIC LIMBO STATE YOU FALL INTO HALF WAY THROUGH WITH NO INDICATION OF WHEN THE strawberry floating TALKING MIGHT JUST END. THERE'S A MINOR SCRAP AT THE BEGINNING THAT'S HARDLY strawberry floating HARD BOILED THEN SOME CITY FIGHTING THAT'S AS ANONYMOUS AS EVERY OTHER IN THE PREVIOUS 73 MARVEL FILMS THEN SOME METAL SPEAR FIGHTING AN HOUR LATER, THEN A gooseberry fool BATTLEFIELD JAUNT AT THE END.
I thought this was excruciating. The great success of Marvel seems to be convincing people that the gibberish nonsense their characters spend 80% of their films spouting is worthy and of importance. Because the actors are beautiful, and the music is forceful, and the production values high, and the overwhelming acclaim tells you this is not to be mocked and laughed at. I don't mind gibberish! I don't mind any nonsense. As long as it's fun, as long as it's not boring.
This is not for me, fine. I was asked to go. After Civil War was like watching two metal blokes spend 5 hours trying to punch each other into another dimension, I swore i wouldn't put myself through it again.
I was so close to leaving the cinema with this, so close to not being able to take listening to such incomprehensible pointless wank. Half way through where it felt like languishing in some kind of hellish limbo state, not knowing how close you are to the end, it dawned on me; no strawberry floating way do people not already extremely invested in Marvel enjoy this rubbish. No way. Not buying it whatsoever. I temporarily in the cinema left my physical body and hovered high up, imagining what exactly is going in the mind of others at this point; what are you comprehending what I am not? Can others just absorb boredom better than me?
I was so strawberry floating bored i started thinking how i'd phrase this tedium in words. Then i was wondering i should shave my beard, it's at that point now where the hairs are too dry and i was thinking i don't want to shave it too short. You get different lengths to shave at but it's best when the hair hasn't already come out. I'll try something anyway.
...adopted daughter made up subplot to give FEELS can strawberry float off, is still boring, fast forward please for the love of life get a move on and get to the point or inevitable fight scene at the end.
It's just...exposition is said to be bad writing in other films. Show, don't tell, right? Yet this is about 80% exposition. It's probably the most predictable film ever made. It jumps around introducing the same arseholes from the other films as they eventually have a fight with some metal men with metal spears or stumble over what a Thanos is.
I'm not just extremely wary of other peoples tastes anymore, but their actual credibility as convincing human beings. I don't mean this in an insulting way, there's a few instances where i'll never ever understand the thinking. And it's not just with entertainment. Just generally. Like, the all consuming, relentless hatred people have for Jeremy Corbyn. Or mentioning homelessness to people and getting the response; 'they're pretending, they're well off, do you know I once saw one with a Berghaus coat, and a phone. A phone!'
You know? You feel detached from reality. Who are you? What is this? I can try to understand the psychology, I'm not going to just assume I'm in a simulated reality and your code has malfunctioned, I will give the benefit of the doubt.
The way i find Marvel films boring is the way some find The Lord of The Rings boring. Which annoys me, because i know those who might say that also like some really strawberry floating boring slow films. The difference is, and i neither have affection for the book or medieval fantasy in general, is that LOTR grounds it all in a reality. It's not got space hopping aliens. Its orcs are created. Its wizards ride horses. The story is epic and powerful, the idea of a ring that grants power that even good wizards won't go near in case they turn to the dark side and try to rule the world with it. That's really evocative.
Journey to destroy the ring where it was made, to be undertaken by these little hobbits that can go undetected and are so humble and jolly the lure of the ring's power won't work the same on them. They're from a small village, you watch them as make their way across all kinds of terrain and defeat all kinds of foes. It tapped into the sense of wonder and discovery i got as a kid from The Never Ending Story, Labyrinth and Krull. I heard about these big battles and got a massive kick out of seeing them. More than that, i had NO IDEA where their journey would take them, NO IDEA.
What does Avengers and its never ending series of events have? A blue alien guy with some stones that grant him the power to wipe out half of a planet's population, but he wants the full set from some guys on Earth so that he is granted even more power to do the same thing more efficiently and humanly, so he can erase people painlessly and spend more time sleeping.
It's like a strawberry floating master system game. strawberry floating really? The whole rhetoric of 'yeah, populations can't cope when over populated, need to be culled' can strawberry float off. From films, comics, life. The baddie in gooseberry fool cgi blockbusters who have a hard on for genocide can strawberry float off as well. I know our heroes fight heroically against such tedious declarations, but it counts as propaganda to continuously suggest it's the solution. I'm bored of aliens visiting Earth and saying we need to be wiped out for the benefit of the planet/universe. Again, it's subtle propaganda, where people can only view each other as parasites on resources.
The way people absorb the nonsense of these films made me think whether they'll come a point where we look back in despair and horror. In the same way future historians will look back at this post millennium phase of human life and be embarrassed and ashamed. They might think; really? They just...carried on doing the same things? Even though...and they didn't change at all?
Then they expand their research to the most popular films of the time, watch all the Marvel films and think; oh, it makes more sense now.
1/10.
my rating system has 1 defined as 'a slog', which it was. I spent 2 hours wanting it to end. But, I'm generous, I take the good from films. Some humour, some good set pieces, good tension, whatever. This had nothing.
Finally got round to watching this and have to say in my opinion it is seriously overrated. I'm a fan of both Gosling and Stone but even that didn't help pull me through what was a real struggle of a watch. There are some strong aspects - some of the visual elements are nice and the central performers do a good job with what they have, but it seriously fails to come together as a whole. The nail in the coffin for me is that the whole thing smacks of a production that is so sure it is better than what it actually is.
Not a great musical, not a great romantic comedy, not a great drama. Basically not a great film.
Oh totally, the opening is far stronger than anything else in the film.
Thinking about it further it leaves such an odd taste in my mouth - the whole thing seems so incredibly sure of itself and what it's doing - but the problem is that it's doing, and saying, pretty much nothing.
I thought La La Land was a competently made film and enjoyable enough, but it suffered from a huge hype campaign and overblown expectations. It's also nowhere near as good as the director's previous film, Whiplash.
The start of La La Land was everything I hated about musicals, the over blown fakeness of everything which, it turned out, was entirely the point of that scene. It moved into something much more low-key and moving which took me by surprise in a good way.
The Conjuring 2. Haven't seen the first but as this is going to be removed from NowTV soon thought I'd watch it whilst I can. If you have seen The Enfield Haunting on Sky, this is basically a retelling with a tweak, which I'll say no more about so not to spoil it for anyone who wants to watch this.
Overall, this is quite good and given that most horror films are fairly poor, recommended for anyone who likes their horrors.
Hopefully the first film turns up on Netflix, NowTV or Amazon at some point.
Didn't really enjoy this at all. I thought Gal Gadot was pretty good as Wonder Woman but otherwise I just couldn't really get invested in the story. The tone didn't connect and half way through I didn't feel like I cared what happened. Also, regarding Ares
I couldn't take him seriously as this sinister evil God after he'd spent most the film with a ridiculous moustache
Death's Head wrote:The Conjuring 2. Haven't seen the first but as this is going to be removed from NowTV soon thought I'd watch it whilst I can. If you have seen The Enfield Haunting on Sky, this is basically a retelling with a tweak, which I'll say no more about so not to spoil it for anyone who wants to watch this.
Overall, this is quite good and given that most horror films are fairly poor, recommended for anyone who likes their horrors.
Hopefully the first film turns up on Netflix, NowTV or Amazon at some point.
7
You definitely need to see the first, it's brilliant (and bloody terrifying to boot).
Jenuall wrote:Oh totally, the opening is far stronger than anything else in the film.
Thinking about it further it leaves such an odd taste in my mouth - the whole thing seems so incredibly sure of itself and what it's doing - but the problem is that it's doing, and saying, pretty much nothing.
The opening is absolutely fantastic, and i did enjoy how the films unique visual style, where even a real dance on a real freeway is made to look like a studio back lot. But i never bought Stone and Gosling's performances, like why not hire actors who can sing and play instruments?
