GRcade

Oh no

The admiration of Banjo has gone through the roof after that Covenant review Anyone who likes that film is a danger to society and a danger to themselves.

Banjo wrote:I just watched Alien Covenant. 1/10. Worse than Alien Resurrection. Not even joking. Would actually rate that alongside AVP2 for how unbelievably abysmal it was. I would have felt so angry if I had paid money to see that.

jacknicholsonslowlynodding.gif

One of the worst films I've ever seen at the cinema. It's way, way worse than Resurrection (which I unironically like) and makes Prometheus look like the strawberry floating Smiling Madonna wiz za big boobies.

Resurrection is balls, but at the very least it has some schlocky qualities and fun performances (Ron Perlman is a good laugh and Sigourney Weaver still has fantastic presence in it), and Jeunet as a visual director brings a hell of a lot to the table. When Resurrection gooseberry fools its pants, it does so in a manner that still provides laughs. Covenant is navel-gazing tripe when even the peak bollocks is just plain boring: Michael Fassbender teaching Michael Fassbender how to play the penny whistle should be one of the greatest 'what the strawberry float am I watching?' moments in cinema history, but instead it was purest tedium.

Batman Ninja.

Brilliantly animated film that's truly gorgeous at times, you can tell they went all out with the theme.



8/10

Banjo wrote:

OrangeReindeer wrote:Did you at least like Fassbender in it?

Well, I was entertained in a slightly baffled way? But the entire film, which includes Fassbender by extension, was unmitigated bollocks.

Preezy wrote:Covenant was a bad Alien film, but it was a perfectly watchable sci-fi action horror movie.

As above, it was nonsense, which in itself makes it watchable. But let's not equate it with competence. Film was an absolute mess, and I'm not sure where I read it, but surely there were cheaper ways for Ridley Scott to tell Fassbender that he wanted to strawberry float him. Dreadful CGI, worse acting than Prometheus (I was initially gutted for Noomi Rapace getting shitcanned but she dodged a bullet), just an overrall farce of a movie. I watched Life earlier today, that was far from great but it showed up just how bad Covenant is. Actual 1/10.

Only decent moment of the film (yeah I don't give a strawberry float about spoilers for this shite) was the Alien Vs Truckasaurus moment near the end. I burst out laughing at it.

Well I can’t wait what you think of the Predator film.

Watched Rear Window at the weekend. I could tell it was a solid piece of film making but wasn't particularly engrossed. Perhaps because of the Simpsons episode parody.

grace kelly though

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

OrangeReindeer wrote:Alien = Aliens >>> Alien 3 >>> Covenant > Prometheus > Resurrection

Bow before my correctness

Prometheus is better than Covenant, but otherwise you are correct.

I have never seen Prometheus all the way through because it is mind numbingly boring

OrangeReindeer wrote:

Partridge Iciclebubbles wrote:

OrangeReindeer wrote:Alien = Aliens >>> Alien 3 >>> Covenant > Prometheus > Resurrection

Bow before my correctness

Prometheus is better than Covenant, but otherwise you are correct.

I have never seen Prometheus all the way through because it is mind numbingly boring

And yet is still better than Covenant.

Plane movies:

Mission Impossible 6 - 6/10
Ocean’s 8 - 7/10
The Predator - can’t score it
Isle of Dogs - 9/10
Tomb Raider - 6/10
Rampage - 7/10
The Meg - 10/10

Is the predator really that bad?

I refuse to watch it, sounds strawberry floating awful.

I haven't seen the Meg but I would not expect a 10/10 from the trailer

Isle of Dogs is definitely great though. I liked Tomb Raider for what it was too tbh, it's fine and watchable

Loved Isle of Dogs, but then i always enjoy Wes Anderson movies anyways.

The Predator is that bad.

It’s the franchise’s equivalent of Robocop 3. So corny, so cheesy and both features a kid. And it have cheesy humour as well.

It’s my number one worst movie of 2018.m

Anyway...

Tomb Raider (2018) 6/10

At least it’s faithful to the reboot. “Oh no I killed a guy!” and then proceed happily to kill some more that would made John Rambo cry with pride.

Albear wrote:Is the predator really that bad?

Yeah it is. I rated it 5/10 in a couple of pages back.

It was just boring I thought.

well i saw ralph breaks the internet on friday and i enjoyed it greatly full marks id say

Dr. Strangelove - 10/10

First time watching this, it was fantastic.

Spider-Man - Into the Spider-Verse 10/10

My word that was good. I saw a few reviews before which said it's the best Spider-Man film ever.... And it is.

So well written, looks stunning, loads of twists and turns, so much brilliant stuff kept out of the trailers, really shocking moments, some emotional bits and loads of action .

It's pretty much faultless.

The big bad has a reason for doing what they do, they are still brutal and evil though. The heroic moments, of which they are many are all very well earned. Pacing is perfect as is the music and the humor.

A few Spider-Man moments in other films have come close to this but as a package nothing comes close.

Lego Batman levels of deep fan service and nods. One scene had me wanting to pause so I could catch everything.

Marvel has hit a new level with this.

The best Spider-Man film yet. It's as far away from the other films as Logan was to the X-Men franchise.

So yeah, I liked it.