I also liked the press invite that Alan sent out to select people for a screening a week or two back:
I'm Alan Partridge and I am delighted, or at least content, to invite you to a special preview screening of my (and BBC One's) upcoming magazine show 'This Time with Alan Partridge' (my emphasis).
The show marks my return to BBC Television after two decades in various doldrums (depression, radio, Sky Atlantic) and you've been carefully selected because you're either a journalist with a pleasant disposition or a friend or representative of an institution with whom I currently hold no specific grudge.
Limited refreshments will be provided. I think it works out at about two drinks a head, although around a third of you won't drink so some of you can have four. Food-wise, expect light snacks; those of you with a large appetite or poor impulse control should probably eat before you get there.
Toilet facilities are also on hand, catering for the full spectrum of gender and disability - but again, if you have more bespoke needs, try to go before you arrive.
Diana [Dors] was Britain’s answer in her 1950s heyday to Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield. And like the former Norma Jeane Baker and Vera Jayne Palmer, she had changed her name before making her bid for stardom. It is easy to see why she decided to do this, because she was born and brought up as Diana Fluck.
The vicar at the church fete was reminded of this before he mounted the podium to welcome the celebrity.
Thus it was that he was able to tell his audience: “Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you our star guest. We all love her, especially as she is our local girl. I therefore feel it right to introduce her by her real name.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the very lovely Miss Diana Clunt.”