Never having enough

I've always had fairly modest goals that seemed slightly unobtainable given my poverty upbringing.im nearly there, so hopefully by this time next year I'll be maintaining the current happy lifestyle. It feels like I'm about to retire, with myfeet up and everything in its place. Obviously still working but not grinding hard for promotion or savings to buy a car or whatever. Just going along fiinancially comfortable, content in my comfortable home with my husband and cat and all the small luxuries that make me happy. With room for a treat, I'd like to keep that sense of achievement and spoiling myself when I pay for a 5* hotel or buy myself designer shoes. Sure a CEO job and incredible wage would be nice but I'm sure I'd get bored buying Louboutins like I'm hitting up new look.

I've never really had any goals apart from get a job that supports me, save for a house. I've managed both, the latter took me like 10 years or so. I'm happy enough. I just want more guitars now.

I'm really not that ambitious, but I am restless and get bored easily, I've never stayed in a job more than a few years. I haven't really moved into jobs that are significantly better paying, just ones that seem more interesting. That's why I've worked in pharma market research, renewable energy, science fiction and fantasy trade fiction, professional police training and academic criminology. Now I'm going back to the beginning doing a career change into archaeology.

I've never owned a car or a house or a TV or anything fancy, so not particularly fussed by getting those. I just hate being bored. I need to have stuff to learn.

Hime wrote:

<]:^D wrote:no thats not what i said at all. read the statement you quoted again.

Can you explain this to me?.

i was saying that overall, people think that the majority of people who achieve financial success in life did so mainly through their own hard work, and that this statement is inarguable. i am stating that i think that is an unfounded presupposition. what is it based on?

i dont disagree with it per se, but i think it is a big assumption.

Wrathy wrote:I really like where I'm at in life, which is that. 5 years after graduation, I'm renting a flat by myself, could buy (but dont really want to since I'd prefer not to own a flat and can't mortgage for a proper property), good and interesting job doing something I'm good at and have an interesting collection of hobbies etc. I'm sure it'd be nice to grow upwards and get a better job title and earn more money but as things go I've done better than I thought I would already, you know? I'm just glad to be here.

That contentment sounds really nice, good on you.

I think my goals are relatively limited, a house/flat with an extra bedroom or two, to be able to walk to work, and not have to work late, decent pension provision and to be able to keep myself in reasonable shape (and go on a nice holiday and a couple if shorter breaks during the year).

Unfortunately those seem to be completely unrealistic, property prices compared to incomes are insane, and in a defined contribution scheme it looks like it takes about £35k to get £1k of inflation adjusting annuity.

I've never been massively goal orientated, I've always been somewhat in awe of people who knew what they wanted to be when they were growing up and set their goals accordingly to achieve that.

That's never been a way that I've felt about life really, I prefer to see my life as a series of happy accidents. The school I went to, the subjects I chose to do at GCSE's, the uni and course I ended up on, doing a PhD, the jobs I've had etc. these tended to just happen one way or another rather than be meticulously planned but it has worked out pretty well so far.

I do think it's a relatively ingrained desire to "want more" than what we have. "If I just have X I'll be happy!" is rarely a situation that plays out as expected when you actually do get X. Partly because there is always something else out there that you realise you want/need to feel fulfilled (the "false peak" analogy in mountain climbing, you only thought X was the pinnacle of your desires because from your initial perspective it was obscuring the next target behind it), but also because circumstances change during the time when you initially formed the view that you needed X to be happy, either the world has moved on in some way that makes X less fulfilling or your own personal situation changes result in other goals becoming more important.

An element of it I guess is to do with growing up and gaining greater responsibility. When I was a teenager doing my first jobs basically everything I earned was "spending money" and so at that time I viewed having an income of something like £10k to be an amazing target - think of all the things I could do with that cash! What I earned could be used almost entirely on what I wanted because the things I needed were generally being provided by others. But as you gain more independence and responsibility your time and money ends up being consumed more by supporting your needs than your wants and so what looks like a desirable goal for income and free time starts to become more demanding.

I'm in a pretty good place right now but that doesn't stop there still being a desire for other things - more stability, more free time to spend with family etc.

I think I've hit my natural career peak. Sure, it might change, but the next step for me will involve a significant uptick in responsibilty and time that I don't necessarily need against the increase in cash. That might change when I have a family to raise in the future. For now, I'm much more interested in being the best I can at my current role, and there are enough long hours and responsibility here as it is. A four day week is the dream at the moment though.

On the effort = success conversation, I'm lucky that I am party to a number of promotional and hiring conversations. Effort gives diminishing returns the higher in an organisation you get. Not because it is valued less, but the pool you are compared against are also relatively high effort people so its harder to set yourself apart. Results and smart working become more valuable. Sure, Dave works 10hrs a day so he is a great team player, but Sue gets the same work done in 8hrs, delivers on time, and leaves on time. Hmmm Sue has capacity to do something new.

Get even higher and organisational intelligence becomes a bigger factor because politics get involved at the top tables. Now you need to be amazing, and sell yourself, and tie them to organisational goals, and even understand who the influencer on decisions are. Some long game stuff at this point.

Of course, there are also those who get to a level and shouldn't. They'll jump from org to org until they get found out or they swallow their pride and go back down a level. Finally, you have those who get to the end of their ambition and let their work ethics slump.

But when you look up at senior employees, be mindful you are using your perceptions based on what you see to judge their effort. I used to look at an old manager and think she did nothing. I now do her role at a similar organisation and know now how busy she was and why it looked like she wasn't. Never mind the responsibility and sleepless nights that go with it.

I will be very happy just as soon as I have a job in my field, or even one that takes advantage of my expertise and pays what I’m worth. Then we can afford to move into a nice, comfortable house somewhere and maybe start a family.

Last year was strawberry floating hard, not without it’s rewards but expensive and time consuming, so it’s been a struggle to dedicate time and effort into forging a career for myself.

This year jobs aren’t forthcoming thanks to world events, so I’m consigned to discontent on that front for probably another year, but next year I’ll hopefully have at least a book published and be in a much stronger position to fight for a job.

Overall I’m still confident that we’ll end up where we need to be, eventually, and I’m happy with the things we do have. Family, good friends, good health and a good relationship. Sometimes when I’m moping about what I don’t have, I lose sight of what’s actually there.

As long as I can afford to live, have nice beers and go to theme parks and that I’m quite happy.

My biggest “thing” to look for in a job is that I will find it fun, my latest job move is the first pay rise with a move in ages (not much of one but still) but it has masses of progression and will be great fun hopefully so all good.

Having lots of money isn’t all that important as long as I have enough to enjoy myself and live I’m happy.