Tafdolphin wrote:mic wrote:Obviously his behaviour is deplorable, but the sex sounded consensual to me, mostly because she isn’t accusing him of rape. His being ‘mean and violent’ during sex... well, does that amount to ‘sexual assault’? Why didn’t she involve the police?
Also, this isn’t new or unique to gaming and women have always been subjected to it. It would be encouraging if gaming culture could be the force for change, but hasn’t she been through this already? I wish her well in this crusade, but I fear it will end badly for her...
So let me break this down:
- Not assault because... I dunno. It didn't meet your specific criteria
- She didn't call the police ergo not a crime
- This happens all the time so we cool. Nothing to see here.
- Gaming community abused her before so she should've learned her place and be quiet.
I desperately wanted to write something constructive, a Karl-esque response pointing out your prejudices and levelling them against hard datapoints and misconceptions of rape culture but I just can't.
This response is a trashfire.
One of the women (Nathalie, I think), said this:
“When you defend rapists, and bemoan the cultural loss of their work when they get called out, think about the bigger loss that could have been the contributions of their victims. I have things to contribute too. I have art to put out there too. I matter too. Other victims do too.”
I totally agree, and find it horrendous that people’s careers and lives can be manipulated so callously by the powerful for their sexual gratification.
However, from what you posted above, Zoe doesn’t seem to be making accusations of rape (as Nathalie is), so the sexual assault stuff just seems to muddy the water, when her main point seems to be the perpetrator’s ability to maliciously affect her career after their breakup.
Also, I didn’t mean to imply that Zoe should have remained quiet - rather, I was complimenting her resilience, and hoping that she doesn’t receive the backlash from aspects of the ‘gaming community’ which I anticipate.
I think I should be able to make these observations without you getting offended.