One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *WE HAVE A CHAMPION!*

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Ironhide
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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Ironhide » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:32 pm

Corazon de Leon wrote:I don’t want to potentially make it an easy point for anyone but two of the actors in the movie are mentioned in 9. If you’ve heard of the film it’s a very gettable answer. The movie is a solid 2/5 though, really thought it was dull.


I haven't (knowingly) seen anything with either of them in it, its also a genre of film I utterly loathe (almost as much as rom coms and musicals).

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by OrangeRKN » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:43 pm

I've never heard of one of those actors, and generally I'm pretty bad at recognising actors by name and naming who is in what anyway as I don't pay it that much attention. Think that's why this round has been harder - rather than clues from a film's story or characters, there are more clues about the actors and directors. They might not help me even if I've seen the film!

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Skarjo » Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:55 am

Stardust.

:x

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Hyperion » Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:10 pm

Finally entered this, should have done earlier, but I'm aiming to catch Jenuall!

Think I've done quite well, no idea about number 9 but pretty confident about most others (If I've got the right one for 11.
Took me far too long to get 5 but I got 6 from just the first paragraph :lol:

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Jenuall » Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:36 pm

Hyperion wrote:Finally entered this, should have done earlier, but I'm aiming to catch Jenuall!

Think I've done quite well, no idea about number 9 but pretty confident about most others (If I've got the right one for 11.
Took me far too long to get 5 but I got 6 from just the first paragraph :lol:

Just to point out, for the sake of my own pride more than anything, I missed one round which is why my score is so low.

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Vermilion » Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:57 pm

Okay, so round 4 is now over, so here are the answers...

1. Lost in Translation
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Her
4. Moon (one of you called it 'Mute')
5. Trainspotting
6. Die Another Day
7. Swordfish
8. Inception
9. Bad Neighbours (the US title of 'Neighbours' is also accepted here)
10. Dodgeball
11. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
12. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

...here's how you did....

Taf - 12pts
Moggy - 12pts
Cora - 12pts
Skarjo - 12pts
Sawyerpip - 11pts
LightWanderer - 11pts
Jenuall - 11pts
Rax - 11pts
Hyperion - 11pts
Edd - 10pts
OrangeRKN - 6pts

...and here's the leaderboard...

One Star Movie Reviews: Leaderboard

Cora - 45pts
Moggy - 45pts
Skarjo - 43pts
Taf - 42pts
Sawyerpip - 41pts
Rax - 38pts
LightWanderer - 38pts
Edd - 36pts
OrangeRKN - 32pts
Ironhide - 28pts
Jenuall - 27pts
Hyperion - 11pts

The final round will begin later...

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by LightWanderer » Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:25 pm

Vermilion wrote:4. Moon (one of you called it 'Mute')


Nope I got the movie confused as I've only seen him in Mute so I didn't call it "Mute", I wasn't referring to it but to another movie entirely :fp:

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Skarjo » Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:43 pm

I swear if Stardust ends up being a defining point I'll delete this whole topic.

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Moggy » Thu Oct 10, 2019 8:07 pm

I almost dropped a point with Trainspotting as I had no idea if McGregor was a nice guy in Moulan Rouge. But realised the reference to a baby must be pointing towards it.

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Round 4*
by Vermilion » Thu Oct 10, 2019 8:08 pm

Here we go then, the final round....

One Star Movie Reviews Quiz: Final Round!

1. Slow and ponderous, with hardly any character development and idiotic set-pieces, this has to be one of the worst films I have ever sat through! All that waiting around for something to happen and then finally comes the 'money-shot' at over an hour and ten minutes in - the little boats, all twenty of them, on their way to save the poor, stupid, English soldiers - with Elgar's lovely Nimrod slowed to down to about half speed - that says it all. What an anti-climax. Also, there was this annoying pulsing beat throughout most of the film which was really irritating. "Thud, thud, thud, bom, bom, bom" What the heck was that? If I had gone to the cinema to watch this, I would have walked out.

2. Spaceship carrying colonists to new planet. Ship picks up odd radio signal and decides to investigate. Carnage ensues... There are so many problems with this movie, it's hard to know where to begin. It suffers hugely from the age-old flaw in bad horror movies - "Why would you DO that?" - those moments which defy logic but are there solely to progress the story to the next stop. There are barely any characters to care about, well actually I think there are none. We are told nothing about them, apart from some are married to others and, it's no spoiler to say, they ain't gonna need to be worrying about the next anniversary gift, if you catch my drift. At some point I suppose I have to address the matter of two Michael Fassbenders and one flute. The flute fingering - no, really - may go down in movie history as one of the most laughable scenes in a non-comedic film. If anyone doubts Fassbender is a fine actor, just marvel at how he kept not one but two straight faces in this sequence.

3. From and adult perspective - Awful. Home Alone with a CGI bear. Started off so promisingly, had me gripped by the throat when he leaves the jungle, and up until the station scene I was in it for the long haul. As soon as they arrived at the house and started the ridiculous bathroom business, it went downhill. I don't remember the character being so annoying. The wonderful Nicole Kidman was playing a slightly more deranged version of her character in The Golden Compass, which was a fabulous film, and also sporting a CGI bear!!! Lots if really good actors who were doing their very best in what was essentially a pantomime. Didn't make it to the end of this. That's not to say others won't like it. I just felt it was juvenile and slapstick.

4. Ghastly beyond belief. The phrase 'style over substance' doesn't come close to describing the unintelligible snippets, jump-cuts or time-leaps that typify this clunker of a film. As far as style goes, it SEEMS to be wanting to emulate Guy Ritchie at his best, but simply ends up having no real storyline beyond that of wanting to be seen as something it isn't. I bet the writers slapped themselves on the back at the thought ot how clever it would be to get Julia Roberts's character trying to impersonate Julia Roberts. There isn't much point in trying to summarise the story because there isn't really anything there. The resolution is pathetic because the crew simply pay off the casino owner who was threatening to kill them. The final shot of the mysterious thief who is presumably going to rob the casino again isn't clever or even suspenseful --- it's simply nothing. Buy this film at your peril. It's a waste of talent and a waste of money.

5. Gah what an awful excuse of a film this is! Completely dull and lifeless story, routine effects, worn-out humour and really annoying characters that all seem to be carbon copies of each other, including Knightly who once again delivers her unique style of over-acting! And in contrast to her you have Bloom who once again doesn't seem to do any acting at all! The captain is by now wearing a little thin and everyone else has little else to do! There are so many crosses, double-crosses, triple-crosses, multi-crosses, counter-crosses and anti-crosses in this film that you lose track of who you're meant to be routing for and as a result you don't care about any of them! And why we have to have almost three hours of this is beyond me, can't Hollywood studios make a film now that is under two hours, they only ever have scripts just long enough to fill 90 minutes, but no they have to stretch it out! After an early action scene nothing happens for two hours except for so called 'character and plot development' (more like 'padding'!), supposedly a build up for an almighty action packed showdown that never comes! Another example of a trilogy that doesn't really need to be a trilogy - the first movie is a stand alone film with a completely seperate story, there's no need for either of the sequels! But we have to have them because the first one was really successful, so they bolt another two films on the end of it and try and convince us that 'it was always meant to be a trilogy', yeah right!!!

6. I'm usually a fan of found footage horror movies and was intrigued by this offering which appears to be a collection of short films. The link between each so tenuous that I don't know how they can even be considered part of the same film. The premise is that a group of maladjusted misfits break into the home of an elderly man in search of a specific item which they must steal. This is the storyline which opens the film and to me, made absolutely no sense in as much as it fails to set up an adequate context for the series of shorts which follow. The editing of the introduction is so choppy and the camera work so shoddy (with pointless extended scenes depicting random acts of vandalism and a lot of needless irritating swearing and shouting) that you really struggle to see what is going on - let alone want to stay with it. It is not until the first "found footage" segment is played that the film becomes slightly more interesting if not thoroughly more annoying as a group of hyperactive overly excited squealing swearing frat boys film their night out. I had absolutely no sympathy for any of their characters and found it laughable when they are killed off in an explicitly gory fashion - and quite relieved actually, that something had managed to shut them up.

One short film is played after another including a mind numbingly dull road trip taken by two newly weds and the slightly more interesting Skype calls featuring a decent performance by little known actress Helen Rogers, the only character I had any sympathy for throughout the entire film. Amidst a pointless onslaught of gore for gore sake there are various perpetrators of said horror including a strange girl who turns out to be some sort of vampire, alien impregnation, a supposed dead body coming back from the dead, a vengeful ghost and a weird shadowy figure in the woods. This vast cocktail of assailants does nothing for the continuity of the film, and as such the short films (which remind me of student media projects and are just as poorly executed and acted) merely amount to one long onslaught on the senses and a sense of absolute relief when it's actually over. The few fleeting glimmers of genuinely good suspense are undermined by a grating lack of realism in the final outcome of each short. Combine this with the pointless framework for the collection, lack of an actual ending and cheap special effects and you have a film that might as well have been made by young teenage boys for young teenage boys. Since the certificate is 18 I do wonder who the target audience is for this. You don't need to be a movie buff to appreciate that this is bad.

7. horror film is being lauded by critics and professional peers alike, including genre enthusiast Eli Roth of all people, as one of the "best, scariest and smartest" horror films ever. And here I am questioning the entirety of existence. Can we honestly just take a step back, finally put some critical skills into practice and appreciate how dreadful this film was? Did I miss something? No seriously, did I? This is without a doubt one the worst "horror" films I've ever had the misfortune of watching. The plot, if you can call it that, consists of two employees working the last weekend at a hotel where ghostly phenomena starts to arise. Aside from maybe the concluding five minutes, I can categorically confirm that nothing happens in this film. Nothing. Not a thing. Nil. Zero. Nada. It's just a bunch of atrociously written characters, exhuming the personalities of surfer dudes for that juicy banter that we all so wanted apparently, running around with a recording device so they can update their hauntingly amateur website that is running on a Windows 98 laptop. Paxton was beyond irritating, screeching like R2-frickin'-D2 whenever an obnoxiously predictable jump scare played out, and then flailing her arms around waking up the guests of the hotel. Healy, in all his monotonous wholesome goodness, was diabolically boring. But the two together? Urgh. It's as if a belligerent teenager wrote the script thinking that if the characters would dance around pessimism, it would make for a hilariously quirky conversation. It's neither funny nor eccentric. Just dumb.

The underlying issue though is the fundamental absence of atmosphere. There's none! West seemingly thought he was channelling his inner Kubrick by alluding to 'The Shining', yet failed to understand what made the suspense flow. Retaining the camera's position for two minutes as the audience patiently waits for the jump scare to blow up, is not suspense. I've witnessed more tension in an advertisement for Premier Inn! I mean, including one of my least favourite people in the world (*cough* Lena Dunham *cough*) didn't exactly help matters either, but holy Madeline O'Malley I am seriously failing to see what all the fuss is about. The excessive comedy diluted any atmospheric tension that West atleast tried to convey, bolstered by some genuinely innovative sound design. Yet as I mentioned, his inability to capture any suspense of ghostly scares was noticeable right from the immediate camera zoom. The conclusion also proves just how much of a terrible writer West truly is, as he wastes our time with apparition teases and asthma attacks.
West is so focussed on making this ghost story authentic, by referencing supposed hauntings in the real hotel (room 353 etc.), that he completely forgot that he was making a horror film and not a tepid documentary reenactment. Urgh. Never again. I'm burning the hotel down so that I never have to watch a staff member attempt to put a bag full of rubbish in a bin for five minutes.

8. I've seen many bad films over the years. I've also seen a few which have been made solely for financial success, without any creative ambition. But this is possibly the worst film i've ever seen.
It never actually seems to kick in. All we have is a montage of clips that don't seem to be in any particular order, all with countless short cutting techniques. McG seems to have forgotten that he is no longr making a pop video, and he has churned out a pop video of over 1 and a half hours. Was it to give the film a modern look? The only thing is succeeds in doing is making it appear over stylised and very self concious of the fact that it was going nowhere A film with over 18 writers and 30 separate drafts of the script does not sound good from the start. Then there was the fact no ending was agreed upon when shooting started. What on earth were Columbia thinking? I can't understand why they hired McG, who has made such a disasterous start to his movie career, that he is being hailed as the worst director of all time. He simplified the already simple premise of the television series. He made every main character the same, and they were reduced to just being a smiling bunch of assets. It is ridiculous that the actors agreed, and one of them even owned the rights. At the height of their careers, why did they choose to make such a shallow and degrading film towards women.

Bonsworth is reduced to being the angels pimp. We may expect to have a few laughs from the guy, well to be honest, we don't. I have rarely seem a film without one single redeeming feature to remember in hindsight. I can't think of one positive to take from this pile of dump. A bunch of big egos, and ridiculous ideas combined have made a shambles. It would have been easy to make a happy and cheery movie from the subject matter, true it would not have been groundbreaking, but it is nearly impossible to make such a catastrophy from such a likable premise. Every teenage boys wet dream must surely have become their nightmare. Let's not even start on the sequel.

9. Utterly dumb, there's no way a ship that big could ever possibly sink, nice titty shot though, didn't expect that in a 12 rated movie and is definately one for the wank bank.

10. Aren't the American's embarrassed creating this film? How they find it impossible to create a believeable enough story and a disaster film together is beyond me. Why do they think it's good entertainment to always see the characters just missing death by seconds every single time? The affects in here are amazing (except the sound affects that don't go with the Earthquake scenes at all), but they have a limousine rushing through crumbling LA at such a fast pace that the affects are missed. They've put so much effort into detail that it's flashed by in seconds. It would have been amazing to just hold the camera still and have proper sound affects so you could get a real feel of it happening around you. The American sense of humour is bizzare also. In one part they're escaping the street falling down around them and John Cussac reverses the car and bumps it, and he looks at his companion and says: `opps, sorry!' Is that funny? The film goes on for far too long. The American's have the ability with amazing affects to create a fantastic disaster film, but it never will work unless they make it believable. The concept of the film and the change to the physical lay out of the planet is fine, great, even, but the utter rubbish of the film's content is an embarrassment.

11. As a sometimes fan of French cinema I really wanted to like this film. However, I was very disappointed at the awful mess of a movie that I was confronted with. Underneath it's over-indulgent, sickly sweet stomach turning topping, lay a deeply ambiguous film. the girl's meddling with other people's lives was perhaps the most disturbing element of the film. For example, when she constructs a letter from a character's dead husband we are meant to see this as a good act. However, this is a terribly cruel thing to do to someone, and if the falsity of this letter became apparent, it would destroy this woman for a second time. Which brings us to the question: is it better to believe a consoling lie or a difficult truth? We should be free to make such a decision for ourselves, but she in effect takes this choice away from the woman. Her punishment of another character in the film is also difficult to swallow. Why should she take it upon herself to punish other people and on what authority? Yes, she did try to bring joy to people, but this was presented in such a sickly way, that it made one cringe rather than cheer. Also, these acts involved such covert deceptions on her part that they were rendered meaningless. The film also suffers from a plethora of frankly unnecessary visual effects, which diminish the story still further. Conclusion: Terrible, terrible, terrible film.

12. Bought this to watch because my wife and I enjoy Michael Keaton and it won an Oscar. We found it so boring that we switched off after 20 minutes and watched something else. I went back to it later thinking that something must happen in the film for it to have won an Oscar. But no. It was sheer boredom from beginning to end. The swearing was consistent. There were crude adult jokes that only a drunk would laugh at. At times the background music was just an annoying drum beat that I'm sure was there just to keep me awake. The story line was poor and lacked any imagination whatsoever. The only positive thing is that I am not left wondering what I missed if I had not watched it - which was nothing anyway.

13. The film is very poor, easily the weakest in the series. It has a plot so thin it's translucent and rather than being seen as a film, it should be regarded as a rather meaningless sequence of quite ridiculous set-pieces and special effects. Dougray Scott proves here in this film once again that he quite simply cannot act, he merely leanrs words and delivers them and even Tom Cruise just doesn't seem interested. On the strength of this,if you're planning to make a ridiculous martial arts flick where story and performances just don't matter then John Woo is the director for you, otherwise please don't let this man near a film camera again!

14. This was one of the worst films EVR made for children! This movie is a tale about three witches who like to kill children - yea, so obviously children are going to love this story. The film begins with a young girl being murdered, and her brother, in an attempt to save her life, is transformed into an immortal cat (ridiculous, i know). The film continues 400 years later when another 3 children reincarnate the witches using a spell. The only character worth liking in this film is the cat, who, at the end of the film, also dies. So, naturally, this film is great for kids - its got everything ... a ridiculously boring storyline, murders, witches ... oh yea, and a talking cat.

15. This is a film with no redeeming features whatsoever. Its full frontal assault on a cool, hip-hop generation is both embarrassing and insulting to those whose culture deserves a far greater depth of development; the action is puerile and grounded with no more sense of reason than a firework exploding; the characters are unfunny and insulting to the intelligence and the story about as original as an advert for windscreen accident damage. In addition to these considerations, there is a serious question about the shocking bad taste, highlighted when our so-called heroes make much light of a dead woman’s breasts, and proceed to jest about the corpses being run over and decapitated during a car chase (Death Race 2000 anyone?). The director and his peers need to remember that we as an audience have a far greater level of intelligence than this tosh tries to stroke. Perhaps the only laugh to be had is when the characters grill an expectant suitor at the door, and this was only because you realised just how much better the concept had been used previously (see Gibson and Glover in Lethal Weapon 2). If such films can continue to slip through the very thin net, the end of the high-quality, mindless action movie as we know it is nigh.

---------------------------------

Good luck folks :)

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Moggy
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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Moggy » Thu Oct 10, 2019 8:17 pm

I’ve only had a quick glance at the final round, but I’d like to congratulate Cora for winning as I have no clue on some of those. :lol:

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Corazon de Leon
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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Corazon de Leon » Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:04 pm

This one is...difficult.

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by OrangeRKN » Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:07 pm

The only one I've seen that I didn't get was Die Another Day so I'm fine with 6 points tbh

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by LightWanderer » Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:14 pm

Totally unrelated but name the cute Pokémon in Cora's avatar please. Thanks xoxo

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Vermilion » Fri Oct 11, 2019 7:39 am

LightWanderer wrote:Totally unrelated but name the cute Pokémon in Cora's avatar please. Thanks xoxo


Jolteon.

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Moggy
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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Moggy » Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:22 am

Sequels are a pain in the arse, it is hard to remember which is which when it comes to big franchises. :x

There is one there that I have no clue on at all.

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Skarjo » Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:29 am

A couple of pretty obscure horror titles in there might work in my favour.

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Jenuall » Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:05 am

Struggling with some of these. Also I think that "emulating Guy Ritchie at his best" is probably the most damning comment anyone could make on a movie! :lol:

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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Rax » Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:51 am

They were very tough, some complete guesses in there but I am confident of 1 of them.

Great quiz by the way, thoroughly enjoyed it.

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Corazon de Leon
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PostRe: One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *Final Round*
by Corazon de Leon » Fri Oct 11, 2019 11:20 am

The two horror ones I actually think I might know. Looking for a full house on this one to ensure a share of victory but I don’t think I can do it.

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