One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *WE HAVE A CHAMPION!*
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Vermilion
- Gnome Thief
- Joined in 2018
- Location: Everywhere
- Contact:
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OrangeRKN
- Community Sec.
- Joined in 2015
- Location: Reading, UK
- Contact:
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Jenuall
- Member
- Joined in 2008
- AKA: Jenuall
- Location: 40 light-years outside of the Exeter nebula
- Contact:
Still need to submit my answers - thought I did it yesterday but hadn't and now I can't remember one of them! 
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Vermilion
- Gnome Thief
- Joined in 2018
- Location: Everywhere
- Contact:
Right then, round 2 has now concluded, and the answers are as follows....
1. Waterworld
2. Monsters
3. Battle Royale
4. Avatar
5. Gravity
6. Skyline (a lot of you guys thought it was Attack The Block, one even said Aliens)
7. Rogue One
8. Bruno
9. 12 Years a Slave
10. Transformers
11. The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
12. Moana
...and here are your scores....
Skarjo - 10pts
Moggy - 10pts
Rax - 10pts
Cora - 10pts
LightWanderer - 9pts
Taf - 9pts
OrangeRKN - 9pts
Sawyerpip - 9pts
Edd - 8pts
Ironhide - 7pts
Jenuall - 0pts - Forgot to send in his entry
One Star Movie Reviews: Leaderboard
Taf - 21pts
Sawyerpip - 21pts
Cora - 21pts
Skarjo - 21pts
Moggy - 21pts
Rax - 19pts
Edd - 18pts
LightWanderer - 18pts
Ironhide - 17pts
OrangeRKN - 17pts
Jenuall - 8pts
1. Waterworld
2. Monsters
3. Battle Royale
4. Avatar
5. Gravity
6. Skyline (a lot of you guys thought it was Attack The Block, one even said Aliens)
7. Rogue One
8. Bruno
9. 12 Years a Slave
10. Transformers
11. The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
12. Moana
...and here are your scores....
Skarjo - 10pts
Moggy - 10pts
Rax - 10pts
Cora - 10pts
LightWanderer - 9pts
Taf - 9pts
OrangeRKN - 9pts
Sawyerpip - 9pts
Edd - 8pts
Ironhide - 7pts
Jenuall - 0pts - Forgot to send in his entry
One Star Movie Reviews: Leaderboard
Taf - 21pts
Sawyerpip - 21pts
Cora - 21pts
Skarjo - 21pts
Moggy - 21pts
Rax - 19pts
Edd - 18pts
LightWanderer - 18pts
Ironhide - 17pts
OrangeRKN - 17pts
Jenuall - 8pts
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Vermilion
- Gnome Thief
- Joined in 2018
- Location: Everywhere
- Contact:
...and so, we now move on to the next set of copy/pastes...
One Star Movie Reviews Quiz: Round 3
1. I tend to like films fairly heavy on action and visual effects, but having plot is good too. This film really doesn't. The premise is a post-apocalyptic wasteland with people fighting over remaining resources, but what their "civilisations" have become is beyond absurd. The early scenes show the main character, who incidentally doesn't get have his name spoken until pretty much the film's end, getting captured by some plaster painted lunatics. Then there's about half an hour of a meaningless chase sequence in which a series of ridiculous vehicles* drive into an unconvincing sand storm which randomly sets things on fire. Every vehicle accident, however minor, results in explosions. Every weapon seems to be a contraption of pre-medieval sophistication used to impale or bash someone. In every car chase the characters try to crahs and crush other vehicles instead of, say, shooting their opponents with the guns they all seem to have. The villain, one of several motiveless mooks, thinks it is a worthwhile use of resources to cannibalise some old eighteen wheeler lorry to build a portable bandstand for a red clad guitarist who does nothing except strum his instrument then get killed for no clear reason in the last chase scene. There's scarcely any speech in the film, and if you turn the volume up to hear it you'll be deafened during the next car crash.
*Post apocalyptic people's may have to use some unconventional tricks to engineer workable stuff from junk but what's been built here is all for looks and totally sans any form of reasoning.
2. Having read rave reviews about this movie I was bitterly disappointed. James Stewart's invisible rabbit friend, Harvey, had more life in it than the miserable, moth-eaten abortion of a bunny which appeared intermittently without explanation during the course of this misbegotten fantasy. When the time-left data appeared on the screen, I kept looking at my watch to see how much longer I had to put up with this drivel. When the engine of a jet airliner landed on the roof of the house, I wished then that the whole family could have been wiped out so as to save any further embarrassment.
3. This is probably one of the most overrated piece of science fiction ever created. I love sci-fi and was very interested to see a film that I'd hoped would ask the big questions about what make us human. However nothing happens in the story, no clever twists, no intellectual debate that makes us think about the world in a new way, not even a tacky robot battle for cheap entertainment. The story is so bad it really is quite funny. They should have named it 'Dr Sillys sexbot Island'. If you want to see a story about retarded scientist and robots wandering around with their tits out this is the film for you, everyone else should avoid!
4. Oh, where to begin? What's good about it? Well there's lots of beautiful horses and some pretty photography and .... Well that's about it really. Our lead plays a character based on the real historical figure of Balian of Ibelin who was actually a member of a powerful and wealthy family. He was not a new comer to Jerusalem and it's politics, but someone whose family were deeply involved in them. In this movie Balian is a stranger and outsider in Outremer. His instant rise from an illegitimate nobody who has no military training to a General and beloved of many of Outremer's elite is laughable. Knights trained for hours almost everyday from boyhood and few people apart from the rich could ride horses and certainly not as well as a trained knight, but the untrained Balian can. Also, the way the knights treat their swords is just inaccurate. They lean on them and don't take care of them stabbing them into the dirt! Even for the wealthy swords were luxury items and a knight's sword was well treated as it was his chief means of defence and attack. The story portrays the crusaders as driven by nothing but greed or religious fanaticism and individually for many crusaders these were part of the motivation, but politically the bigger reason for the first crusade and many of those that followed it, were the 400 years that Muslim invaders had previously employed in making dramatic, bloody incursions, invasions and attacks on lands held by Christendom in Italy, Spain, France and so on. The people of Constantinople were afraid of Islamic aggressors and asked the Pope for aid. The first crusade followed his call to arms. The crusaders did nasty things yes, but the early crusades in particular were also driven by an intent to respond to and crush the rise of aggressive muslim expansion. Reciprocating to the attacks on European countries that had been happening since the 8th century. This movie ignores these facts completely, determined to follow it's own agenda. it even describes 12th century Europe as impoverished and repressed when it was enjoying an early Renaissance.
The brief romance is unbelievable, there's no obvious chemistry between the on screen couple, The lead actor is not terrible, but athe actress in particular seems to think looking constipated well represents her lustful desires. Additionally it's an adulterous affair and again not historically accurate. Generally the acting is not terrible, in fact it's not too bad at all, but the dialogue is clunky and sometimes silly.
The movie is just bad!
5. I bought this to keep my grandkids amused, but that's not going to happen. For the first 20 minutes or so I was confronted by this bunch of loud, mouthy, aggressive, argumentative and often foul-mouthed kids with dialogue that was largely unintelligible, apart from the bad words of course. The film opens with some of the kids stuffing themselves at the funeral of of one of their mothers and speculating about what the coffin might contain as she was crushed in an industrial accident. From there it goes from bad to worse. Most of the characters seem to be caricatures, and the whole thing some sort of third rate soap opera. The famous train crash astounds to start with, and then goes on and on and on until it is laughable. My subwoofer enjoyed a good workout but that's about all. The most intriguing part of the film, the mysterious cuboid objects, is never explained, or if it was I missed it. If you are seriously concerned about your childrens language and behaviour, then don't give them this stuff. Having enjoyed every moment of Tintin, I am disappointed that Spielberg lent his Amblin name to this.
6. Aside from being the worst movie of the year, it also managed to earn it's spot as the worst movie of this franchise yet. Much to the disappointment of all the social justice warriors and black power activists.
Let's get specific:
- The story made no sense what so ever... apparently the location involved is and always has been the richest and most technologically advanced country in the world... and yet they have shut out all of their African brothers and sisters to die of starvation and lack of clean water.... ironically they still manage to throw in a couple of cheeky digs at the white man! Oh yeah white men are to blame when you had all that money and technology hidden away!
- the music was awful
- acting was awful
*special effect were good....
-but the story was poor... they made a poor choice killing off the robot arm guy and replacing him with that miserable racist...
- action scenes were pretty poor.
- accents were terrible..
- the hype for the film was pretty racially motivated and that made it quite uncomfortable to watch...
- I found a lot of the film quite racist if I'm honest.. if that had been the other way around it would never have got into cinemas ...
(Hey I've got a great idea for a film... let's make a white ethnostate, where no black people are allowed in and we will all listen to white people music and talk about how much we don't like black people....)
See what I mean? It's definitely racist...
To sum up... don't buy it...
7. I did enjoy the movie to an extent - it was an interesting look at the long and true attempt to capture/kill a notorious terrorist but I found the main character (whose name I forget) very annoying.
She did things in the movie eg like writing on her bosses office window how many days had passed since she told them where someone important to finding him might be, and while I guess it was supposed to show she was upset at the length of time it took to get anything done, which to be fair, would be annoying, for some reason it made her seem childish and petty. There were other scenes when she would challenge her male co-workers and, again, I don't know why but she always managed to come across as unlikable and irritating when she did, even if she had a point. Not sure whether it was the writing or the actor that I just didn't click with but I watched this movie once and then tossed it in the cupboard. If you like strong female characters, getting in the faces of their male counterparts and generally being proved right then you'll like the whole of this movie but for me the best scenes were the ones without the main character - near the end where the soldiers are going through the house hunting for the boogeyman was especially well shot and almost suspenseful, even though I knew how it ended.
8. Did that just really happen? Rapping sparrows, incredibly cruel and crude animals, and more deliberate en-ger-lish signposting than you could shake a Harrods bag at. After the Yankification and turgid Williams soundtrack of BFG, us Brits have to take it up the rectum once again with this abomination of a film. Snide, cruel jokes from beginning to end including a horrific pig character that is guaranteed to scare the hell out of any 10 year old or below, I know they have to cater for the lowest common denominator to hit the big money but this is truly appalling. My tip: get all the old original swallows and amazons, railway children, BFG (Cosgrove's not Hollywood's), even Disney's Rescuers ... and save your children's brains before it's too late. God I hate James Corden!
9. This story is a good book, the film adaptation is not. The changes that were made in the film from the boook do not add anything and detract from the story. And the 'additions' for example DeNiros character as a camp cross dresser, where and why? what was the point in that? rick Gervais playing himself, again why? Just Hollywood mindnumbing rubbish. If you haven't read the book the film is ok, if you have keep clear.
10. This was given as a Christmas present so I watched it. I am very sad that a film about children being forced to fight to the death is classed as a 12. The film is beautifully made but I wouldn't recommend it as a children's film. The country in the film is divided up into 12 regions and each region has to send two teenagers to the annual games to fight it out with each other until all but one is dead. This is brutal and is this really what we want our children to be learning from? There are some other sub-plots of loyalty, friendship, love but the underlying tone is brutality and a society which is sick to the core.
11. This was one of the most depressing films I've ever seen! My eleven year old son was so upset when her imaginary friend (or whoever it was - I can't remember) vanished from her memory and I was hoping that it would become less sad so that he would stop crying but the sad events continued until about five minutes before the end. And I think there's supposed to be some sort of profound message but apart from a very obvious one about sadness being necessary for eventual happiness I couldn't work out what it was. A film about childhood depression aimed at children and their parents is a bit odd.
12. Like most of the people who have watched this film, i saw it due to the advert looked funny and interesting, oh how wrong i was. Within the first few minutes of the film Its just swearing and i would say teenage humour but i find it was more infantile than anything i had ever watched. The fact that the film was based on a couple of teenagers trying to get beer and get into a party to sleep with a couple of girls, this seems like a very basic crappy plot for the film and it is. The film script was so idiotic. I think i possibly laughed once at this film and that wasn't even at one of the main characters. The film tried to become one of the funniest movies by having lots of swearing and a strange obsession with penis jokes, but it was just mindless crap. I was one of the main target audience and i found this unfunny and frankly retarded, im just wondering how other people found this film, judging by the amount of 1 star reviews, im guessing my opinions are shared.
--------------------------------------------
This round will end in a couple of days, good luck
One Star Movie Reviews Quiz: Round 3
1. I tend to like films fairly heavy on action and visual effects, but having plot is good too. This film really doesn't. The premise is a post-apocalyptic wasteland with people fighting over remaining resources, but what their "civilisations" have become is beyond absurd. The early scenes show the main character, who incidentally doesn't get have his name spoken until pretty much the film's end, getting captured by some plaster painted lunatics. Then there's about half an hour of a meaningless chase sequence in which a series of ridiculous vehicles* drive into an unconvincing sand storm which randomly sets things on fire. Every vehicle accident, however minor, results in explosions. Every weapon seems to be a contraption of pre-medieval sophistication used to impale or bash someone. In every car chase the characters try to crahs and crush other vehicles instead of, say, shooting their opponents with the guns they all seem to have. The villain, one of several motiveless mooks, thinks it is a worthwhile use of resources to cannibalise some old eighteen wheeler lorry to build a portable bandstand for a red clad guitarist who does nothing except strum his instrument then get killed for no clear reason in the last chase scene. There's scarcely any speech in the film, and if you turn the volume up to hear it you'll be deafened during the next car crash.
*Post apocalyptic people's may have to use some unconventional tricks to engineer workable stuff from junk but what's been built here is all for looks and totally sans any form of reasoning.
2. Having read rave reviews about this movie I was bitterly disappointed. James Stewart's invisible rabbit friend, Harvey, had more life in it than the miserable, moth-eaten abortion of a bunny which appeared intermittently without explanation during the course of this misbegotten fantasy. When the time-left data appeared on the screen, I kept looking at my watch to see how much longer I had to put up with this drivel. When the engine of a jet airliner landed on the roof of the house, I wished then that the whole family could have been wiped out so as to save any further embarrassment.
3. This is probably one of the most overrated piece of science fiction ever created. I love sci-fi and was very interested to see a film that I'd hoped would ask the big questions about what make us human. However nothing happens in the story, no clever twists, no intellectual debate that makes us think about the world in a new way, not even a tacky robot battle for cheap entertainment. The story is so bad it really is quite funny. They should have named it 'Dr Sillys sexbot Island'. If you want to see a story about retarded scientist and robots wandering around with their tits out this is the film for you, everyone else should avoid!
4. Oh, where to begin? What's good about it? Well there's lots of beautiful horses and some pretty photography and .... Well that's about it really. Our lead plays a character based on the real historical figure of Balian of Ibelin who was actually a member of a powerful and wealthy family. He was not a new comer to Jerusalem and it's politics, but someone whose family were deeply involved in them. In this movie Balian is a stranger and outsider in Outremer. His instant rise from an illegitimate nobody who has no military training to a General and beloved of many of Outremer's elite is laughable. Knights trained for hours almost everyday from boyhood and few people apart from the rich could ride horses and certainly not as well as a trained knight, but the untrained Balian can. Also, the way the knights treat their swords is just inaccurate. They lean on them and don't take care of them stabbing them into the dirt! Even for the wealthy swords were luxury items and a knight's sword was well treated as it was his chief means of defence and attack. The story portrays the crusaders as driven by nothing but greed or religious fanaticism and individually for many crusaders these were part of the motivation, but politically the bigger reason for the first crusade and many of those that followed it, were the 400 years that Muslim invaders had previously employed in making dramatic, bloody incursions, invasions and attacks on lands held by Christendom in Italy, Spain, France and so on. The people of Constantinople were afraid of Islamic aggressors and asked the Pope for aid. The first crusade followed his call to arms. The crusaders did nasty things yes, but the early crusades in particular were also driven by an intent to respond to and crush the rise of aggressive muslim expansion. Reciprocating to the attacks on European countries that had been happening since the 8th century. This movie ignores these facts completely, determined to follow it's own agenda. it even describes 12th century Europe as impoverished and repressed when it was enjoying an early Renaissance.
The brief romance is unbelievable, there's no obvious chemistry between the on screen couple, The lead actor is not terrible, but athe actress in particular seems to think looking constipated well represents her lustful desires. Additionally it's an adulterous affair and again not historically accurate. Generally the acting is not terrible, in fact it's not too bad at all, but the dialogue is clunky and sometimes silly.
The movie is just bad!
5. I bought this to keep my grandkids amused, but that's not going to happen. For the first 20 minutes or so I was confronted by this bunch of loud, mouthy, aggressive, argumentative and often foul-mouthed kids with dialogue that was largely unintelligible, apart from the bad words of course. The film opens with some of the kids stuffing themselves at the funeral of of one of their mothers and speculating about what the coffin might contain as she was crushed in an industrial accident. From there it goes from bad to worse. Most of the characters seem to be caricatures, and the whole thing some sort of third rate soap opera. The famous train crash astounds to start with, and then goes on and on and on until it is laughable. My subwoofer enjoyed a good workout but that's about all. The most intriguing part of the film, the mysterious cuboid objects, is never explained, or if it was I missed it. If you are seriously concerned about your childrens language and behaviour, then don't give them this stuff. Having enjoyed every moment of Tintin, I am disappointed that Spielberg lent his Amblin name to this.
6. Aside from being the worst movie of the year, it also managed to earn it's spot as the worst movie of this franchise yet. Much to the disappointment of all the social justice warriors and black power activists.
Let's get specific:
- The story made no sense what so ever... apparently the location involved is and always has been the richest and most technologically advanced country in the world... and yet they have shut out all of their African brothers and sisters to die of starvation and lack of clean water.... ironically they still manage to throw in a couple of cheeky digs at the white man! Oh yeah white men are to blame when you had all that money and technology hidden away!
- the music was awful
- acting was awful
*special effect were good....
-but the story was poor... they made a poor choice killing off the robot arm guy and replacing him with that miserable racist...
- action scenes were pretty poor.
- accents were terrible..
- the hype for the film was pretty racially motivated and that made it quite uncomfortable to watch...
- I found a lot of the film quite racist if I'm honest.. if that had been the other way around it would never have got into cinemas ...
(Hey I've got a great idea for a film... let's make a white ethnostate, where no black people are allowed in and we will all listen to white people music and talk about how much we don't like black people....)
See what I mean? It's definitely racist...
To sum up... don't buy it...
7. I did enjoy the movie to an extent - it was an interesting look at the long and true attempt to capture/kill a notorious terrorist but I found the main character (whose name I forget) very annoying.
She did things in the movie eg like writing on her bosses office window how many days had passed since she told them where someone important to finding him might be, and while I guess it was supposed to show she was upset at the length of time it took to get anything done, which to be fair, would be annoying, for some reason it made her seem childish and petty. There were other scenes when she would challenge her male co-workers and, again, I don't know why but she always managed to come across as unlikable and irritating when she did, even if she had a point. Not sure whether it was the writing or the actor that I just didn't click with but I watched this movie once and then tossed it in the cupboard. If you like strong female characters, getting in the faces of their male counterparts and generally being proved right then you'll like the whole of this movie but for me the best scenes were the ones without the main character - near the end where the soldiers are going through the house hunting for the boogeyman was especially well shot and almost suspenseful, even though I knew how it ended.
8. Did that just really happen? Rapping sparrows, incredibly cruel and crude animals, and more deliberate en-ger-lish signposting than you could shake a Harrods bag at. After the Yankification and turgid Williams soundtrack of BFG, us Brits have to take it up the rectum once again with this abomination of a film. Snide, cruel jokes from beginning to end including a horrific pig character that is guaranteed to scare the hell out of any 10 year old or below, I know they have to cater for the lowest common denominator to hit the big money but this is truly appalling. My tip: get all the old original swallows and amazons, railway children, BFG (Cosgrove's not Hollywood's), even Disney's Rescuers ... and save your children's brains before it's too late. God I hate James Corden!
9. This story is a good book, the film adaptation is not. The changes that were made in the film from the boook do not add anything and detract from the story. And the 'additions' for example DeNiros character as a camp cross dresser, where and why? what was the point in that? rick Gervais playing himself, again why? Just Hollywood mindnumbing rubbish. If you haven't read the book the film is ok, if you have keep clear.
10. This was given as a Christmas present so I watched it. I am very sad that a film about children being forced to fight to the death is classed as a 12. The film is beautifully made but I wouldn't recommend it as a children's film. The country in the film is divided up into 12 regions and each region has to send two teenagers to the annual games to fight it out with each other until all but one is dead. This is brutal and is this really what we want our children to be learning from? There are some other sub-plots of loyalty, friendship, love but the underlying tone is brutality and a society which is sick to the core.
11. This was one of the most depressing films I've ever seen! My eleven year old son was so upset when her imaginary friend (or whoever it was - I can't remember) vanished from her memory and I was hoping that it would become less sad so that he would stop crying but the sad events continued until about five minutes before the end. And I think there's supposed to be some sort of profound message but apart from a very obvious one about sadness being necessary for eventual happiness I couldn't work out what it was. A film about childhood depression aimed at children and their parents is a bit odd.
12. Like most of the people who have watched this film, i saw it due to the advert looked funny and interesting, oh how wrong i was. Within the first few minutes of the film Its just swearing and i would say teenage humour but i find it was more infantile than anything i had ever watched. The fact that the film was based on a couple of teenagers trying to get beer and get into a party to sleep with a couple of girls, this seems like a very basic crappy plot for the film and it is. The film script was so idiotic. I think i possibly laughed once at this film and that wasn't even at one of the main characters. The film tried to become one of the funniest movies by having lots of swearing and a strange obsession with penis jokes, but it was just mindless crap. I was one of the main target audience and i found this unfunny and frankly retarded, im just wondering how other people found this film, judging by the amount of 1 star reviews, im guessing my opinions are shared.
--------------------------------------------
This round will end in a couple of days, good luck
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Jenuall
- Member
- Joined in 2008
- AKA: Jenuall
- Location: 40 light-years outside of the Exeter nebula
- Contact:
What! I assumed conclude on Sunday means tonight! 
I would have gotten 9 I think so hardly troubling the leaderboard!
I would have gotten 9 I think so hardly troubling the leaderboard!
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sawyerpip
- Member
- Joined in 2009
So it turns out that of the three I didn't know, the one I didn't have a clue on was the one I should have gotten (Bruno), and the two I thought were on the tip of my tongue I've never actually seen (Monsters and Skyline)
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OrangeRKN
- Community Sec.
- Joined in 2015
- Location: Reading, UK
- Contact:
-
Corazon de Leon
-
OrangeRKN
- Community Sec.
- Joined in 2015
- Location: Reading, UK
- Contact:
Moggy wrote:I went with Attack the Block just because the review mentioned flats, I knew AtB didn’t have tentacles though.
The problem is these reviews clearly can't be trusted for accuracy
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Jenuall
- Member
- Joined in 2008
- AKA: Jenuall
- Location: 40 light-years outside of the Exeter nebula
- Contact:
I had gone with attack the block as well although I too knew it was wrong!
I quite like the wonkiness of the reviews, helps keep you on your toes and trying to decipher what the reviewer is really on about is a fun little challenge!
I quite like the wonkiness of the reviews, helps keep you on your toes and trying to decipher what the reviewer is really on about is a fun little challenge!
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Corazon de Leon
I think I've got a good handle on this twelve, but one of them I wouldn't be surprised to find out if it's the bloody sequel again.
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Corazon de Leon
Just hit quote instead of PM, for full disclosure there. Hopefully nobody saw that.
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Pedz
- Twitch Team
- Joined in 2009
- Contact:
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