One Star Movie Reviews Quiz! *WE HAVE A CHAMPION!*

Answered all but one, confident of most but a few are definitely questionable on my part.

Couldn't answer 4, 8 or 9. Otherwise think I got them but we'll see

Working through Round 3 now, as I'm back in work I have retrieved my answers I was going to submit for Round 2:

1. Waterworld
2. E.T. Bone Home
3. Battle Royale
4. Avatar
5. Gravity
6. Attack The Block
7. Highlander VI: The Diegoing
8. Sister Act 3: Off The Rails
9. 12 Years a Slave
10. Transformers
11. The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
12. Moana

Clearly I would have topped the leaderboard!

Moggy wrote:I’m reasonably confident on that round. There was one I had no idea about until I wrote a guess and then suddenly realised what the correct answer was.

Was that no. 3? Because I did exactly the same thing on that one.

Corazon de Leon wrote:

Moggy wrote:I’m reasonably confident on that round. There was one I had no idea about until I wrote a guess and then suddenly realised what the correct answer was.

Was that no. 3? Because I did exactly the same thing on that one.

Yep. I wrote a wild guess and then realised the correct answer just before I submitted.

I googled the main character from 4 after submitting my answers and realised I'd conflated several different films into one in my mind and given it the wrong title which excluded it from being a possible answer.

Feel silly now.

Struggling on this round. 3, 4, 5, 7, and 12 are all guesses at this point!

Jenuall wrote:Struggling on this round. 3, 4, 5, 7, and 12 are all guesses at this point!

With our knowledge combined we could be almost average!

(I'd like to think that everyone is doing so well because the people wanting to take part is skewed towards people who know a lot about film)

OrangeRKN wrote:

Jenuall wrote:Struggling on this round. 3, 4, 5, 7, and 12 are all guesses at this point!

With our knowledge combined we could be almost average!

(I'd like to think that everyone is doing so well because the people wanting to take part is skewed towards people who know a lot about film)

Average FTW!

Yeah I expected that most people involved would be fairly far laong the "film buff" spectrum so I was always up for coming in the lower end of the leaderboard!

I have no idea if Highlander VI is really called 'The Diegoing' but I am definitely on board.

If not then it needs to be made!

Just realised I've left work without submitting my bloody answers for this round again!

Will send them over shortly, still guesses on a fair few of them!

Jenuall wrote:Just realised I've left work without submitting my bloody answers for this round again!

You still have time, this round will conclude sometime later tomorrow.

Thought I had for sure done well in this round but made a few blunders. Thought "Monsters" was "Galaxy Quest"; didn't have any idea for "Skyline"; and thought Rogue One was "Blood Father" of all things.

Just quickly submitted my answers on the train home. I've made a couple of guesses that I'm pretty sure are miles off the mark

sawyerpip wrote:Just quickly submitted my answers on the train home. I've made a couple of guesses that I'm pretty sure are miles off the mark

It was your PM which reminded me that i should be getting on with this.

Okay then, so that's it for round 3, and the answers are as follows...

1. Mad Max: Fury Road
2. Donnie Darko
3. Ex Machina (one guess was 'The Island of Doctor Moraue!', another was ' Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine')
4. Kingdom of Heaven
5. Super 8
6. Black Panther
7. Zero Dark Thirty
8. Peter Rabbit
9. Stardust (no, not 'Starlight' Skarjo )
10. The Hunger Games
11. Inside Out
12. Superbad

...here's how you did...

Cora - 12pts
Moggy - 12pts
Ironhide - 11pts
Skarjo - 10pts
Taf - 9pts
OrangeRKN - 9pts
Lightwanderer - 9pts
Sawyerpip - 9pts
Edd - 8pts
Rax - 8pts
Jenuall - 8pts

...and as George Dawes would say 'here are the scores'...


One Star Movie Reviews: Leaderboard

Cora - 33pts
Moggy - 33pts
Skarjo - 31pts
Taf - 30pts
Sawyerpip - 30pts
Ironhide - 28pts
Rax - 27pts
LightWanderer - 27pts
Edd - 26pts
OrangeRKN - 26pts
Jenuall - 16pts

....Round 4 will follow a bit later this evening...

Superbad was an complete and utter guess.

Right then, on with round 4...

One Star Movie Reviews Quiz: Round 4

1. Did i go see the same film as these other people? i nearly fell asleep watching, and ended up the way of Bill Murray's character. The film is pretentious and spends most of the first half hour lingering on the womans behind as she waits boredly in her room in her underwear. i felt no sense of sympathy or understanding for the characters. i can't understand why people love this film. Neither could my girlfriend. Murray does put in his usual bull-dog like mopey expression but he was far better in films like groundhog day and even ghostbusters. at least he was funny in those. the highpoint of the humour? the whisky commercial. the humour? Japanese man talks loudly and too fast in feverish japanese in very long sentences. japanese woman translates into short sentences. bill murray does some comic facial expressions and asks "is that it?" oh how my sides split.

2. Unfortunately we wasted a couple of good hours watching this intensely boring film, we only watched it to the end hoping that there would be a brilliant twist - there wasn't. The story line is weak; boy meets crazy girl and they fall in love, girl gets bored of boy and decides to have her memory of him erased, boy then does the same but regrets his action part way through the erasing process, boy and girl get back together. The whole movie should have taken five minutes but was tortuously dragged out by an hour or more of flashbacks. The one positive point was the acting, but ultimately, even good actors can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Don't waste your money, buy a cheap pot of paint and watch it dry - it will last as long but will be more fun!

3. I'm not quite sure who this film is aimed at? It's beautifully photographed with a real 1970's sf look to it and the premise is actually very intriguing. However it is played out like an appalling, schmaltzy American rom-com with Johansson giving the most annoying performance of her (or anyone else's) career as the voice of an artificial intelligence girlfriend. SF retro fans will love the look of the film (Kubrick style) but will doubtless be appalled by the dreadful script and its dire execution. Brainless teenage girls will, on the other hand, love the script and it's execution, but balk at the visuals, underlying ideas and the lead actor's appropriation of Burt Reynolds Smokey and the Bandit moustache. It's a culture clash of a film - intelligence meets immature idiocy - a bit like my sister in law and her boyfriend with his badly spelled tattoos and strange smell of cabbage...so maybe they could watch it together...there ...I've answered my own question....that's who it's aimed at....I'm using my copy as a spittle collector.

4. This movie has been hyped to the last ,apparently the Daily Mirror said it was the finest movie since blade runner,how can they say that ,, the whole thing stinks of manipulation or mass stupidity due to duncan being Bowie's son,, i'm sure that daddy must have pulled plenty of strings (do i see stings wife involved also ,,oh dear). The movie is complete rubbish , its boring , has NO redeeming features at all. I thought oh its Multiplicity in space , but then i remembered that Multiplicity was funny and quite a good movie! The movie is bleak ,,the characters are completely one dimensional. When the first clone pukes blood for about half an hour of the movie it was just unpleasant to see,,which alienated me further, i felt no empathy and was mostly repulsed. The end scene was so reminiscent of the ending of Dr Strange Love. I actually bought the movie to watch over the Christmas and it was a total let down. I wish i could get my money and my hour and half back , i feel conned. I cant believe that movies like this still get financed , when there are so many great books waiting to be turned into brilliant movies. I will look out for Zowie's next movie and avoid it like a clone with accelerated decrepitude !!

5. My father loves vintage steam railways and the work of the late great Fred Dibnah. I sent this movie to his nursing home for resident's cinema day as it had the nice man from Moulin Rouge in it.
The asian lady carer who works minimum wage had no idea what she was putting on this afternoon before going back to skyping her friends back home on her phone, unaware of the old folk's trauma.
However many of them now like Underworld and no longer want to hold vistors babies.

6. 2 hours and 15 minutes of boredom. I ended up ironing my shirts within the first hour whilst watching as it played in the background. Nothing much happens in the first hour.....erm I take that back because the opening sequence on the hovercrafts is spectacular, and thats it; all down hill from there.

Advantages:
1. You get a chance to admire Halle Berry's dodgy hairdo, and her perfect ass.
2. You can stare at Rosamund Pike to se if she ever smiles; she never smiles, and you don't see her ass.
3. You get your ironing done.
4. You get to hear The Clash perform on the soundtrack e.g. London Calling
5. Enjoy the lip curling ability of the Bond baddie when he shows disgust or disapproval, and you don't see his ass.

Disadvantages:
1. Horrible title song; like a chesse grater on the ears.
2. Electric body-armour-suit-thing. Anyone care to explain what that was ever intended for...
3. Daft sneering Pantomime villian.
4. Farcical script
5. Riculous 'invisible' Aston Martin
6. Silly CGI special effects.
7 Laughable script
E.g. "You only get one shot at life, Bond. Why waste it on sleep? "

The worst Bond film since Diamonds are Forever, asbsolute ass

7. "...very slick and stylish" -The News of The World. "The blockbuster that has everything" -Hotdog. "But nothing for me" - Me.

A new personal high in movie lows, this. I must have seen worse but I swear having just watched this candy-coated Hollywood cockroach, that all other contenders seem to have been temporarily wiped.

Basically they've convoyed-in container loads of dosh to launch a mega action jack-off which is so badly written (unbelievably stupid premise with sub-comicbook plotting and dialogue) and kack-directed (clueless over-kill pacing; tasteless glitz-laden style), that that the whole thing comes off as an obnoxious cinematic in-joke. The only ones in the production who genuinely seem to be trying hard are the SFX dept. Oh, and the suits back at the corporate office who obviously were the true creative minds in charge here.

Hugh Jackman's central performance as a sort of super-action-nerd is super-cheese-ee and hits the mark perfectly for this stinker. Vinnie Jones comes over all Brannah by comparison. But it's hard to blame the cast for phoning-in with the material so moronic and direction so crass. the director lards the story with self-referential tosh about mis-direction and movie-making in an attempt to wink the eye at postmodernist fun and games for all. Presumeably to kid his team of stars to lie back and think of Hollywood. As for it being nothing so much as a lovely big larf, well once tipped the wink, po-faced not to really --or so you may think initially. Then boredom sets-in after about 15 minutes and the unrelenting movie-maker self-indulgence just gets tiresome. As the ride predictably accelerates with unpredictable twists, the irritation just builds and builds.

Astonishingly the great Sam Shepard 'plays' a minor character. He's sort of why I gave the film a go in the first place (another in-joke --talk about mis-direction). I assume on the proceeds he was able to buy himself another chunk of the true West. The old hippie son-of-a-gun.

Basically, this is one for AWESOME addicts only. The Desperate Ones. I imagine the ideal audience would be drooling, coked-out 11 year olds who want to see an unsexy tits shot which was done for a fat pay packet.

8. So was that it?! A bit of inverted Paris city-scape here and a few blokes doing a weightless runaround along a hotel corridor there?! And what does the poor, deluded viewer get in-between? A lot of not-very-subtle, contrived, predictable and, let's face it guys, fairly ordinary movie making, that expects us to imagine far too much from the dull and boring imagery before us (aren't we supposed to be in a multi-layered world of dreams, for Heaven's sake?!), whilst offering precious little of the visual Wow-Factor in return. What a monumental disappointment of a movie! the director is, of course, a cool director, but an on-the-money screenwriter he is not. Next time, I would seek out a decent script, find an art director with real imagination (I'd shoot myself if my dreams looked and felt like a cross between a dull travelogue and a second-rate Bond movie) and, no surprises here, drop di Caprio. I think he's peaked and has nothing to offer when it comes to depth and pathos.

9. This is just another Hollywood "comedy" that mistakes vulgarity for humour. It is is incredibly profane, vulgar, crass and offensive. Sometimes that can be very funny (British alternative comedy in the 1980s was vulgar and offensive, but was also funny); unfortunately this is not. Not at all. It is just another cheap, poorly written, poorly acted and stupid film churned out by Hollywood for a target audience of males aged 18-25. It ticks all the boxes for lame Hollywood comedies aimed at the boorish frat boy audience:

- There is gratuitous nudity and sex
- Everyone college-aged attends non-stop, neon-lit parties where all the girls are babes and dress in bikinis
- There is simply no story or character to think about, just incessant swearing, comic violence and stupidity
- Misogyny rules: there is no pretense that women are anything but sex objects, whereas brotherhood and male bonding - usually at the expense of women - are the most important thing in a young man's life
- Anyone who is not good looking, cool or ripped like Efron is subjected to cruel humiliation, insults and ritualistic bullying
- Drinking, taking drugs and being intoxicated in public have no ramifications whatsoever
- No-one is remotely realistic or likeable, just stupid cartoon caricatures

There is one funny scene in this, Rose Byrne's reaction to the doctor when the couple visit the hospital after the "balloon" incident. But one good joke in 90 odd minutes is hardly a good return. But that no longer matters as the target audience - Hollywood's most important demographic - go to see tripe like this in droves, which is why the sequel was greenlit. No doubt number 3 is soon to be in production.

The only surprise is that Vince Vaughn didn't make an appearance since he specialises in this sort of fare.

10. This has got to be the worst film I've seen in a long while.
It is a typical US nerds make good against all odds comedy, except it isnt funny. I am a keen watcher of slapstick comedy. What amazes me is how this film made watching someone being hit in the face with a large spanner so UNFUNNY. Embarrisingly LAME gags, POOR chaaracters (and acting?)and DULL plot are the only strong features of this film.
Watching somebody being hit hard with a ball did make me smile THE FIRST TIME, but after the 1000th or so cry of pain I was just wishing for the end to come.
I did find the FAT CHEERLEADER funny at the start of the film amusing, but fat people are funny arn't they? Two smiles over the course of this film then. NOT GOOD. I pity those that actually bought this film.The joke is on them.

11. This film is the worst I've seen for a long time (and I do usually enjoycomedy). Jim Carrey plays the last person on earth you'd want to meet -someone who is disrespectful to everyone and everything, wrecks and ruinseverything he comes across and behaves like a spoiled two year-oldthroughout the film - and it's supposed to be funny. It's hard to pickthe funniest moment - it could be when Ace regurgitates some vomit to feedan eagle chick, or spits mucus all over an African tribesman, or perhapsit's when he shoves parts of a meal he's been given into his nose, earsand eyes to make a silly face. You choose. Carrey's quite good in `TheTruman Show' and I was really disappointed with this one.

12. The single biggest problem for me when watching this trash were the two main characters. They were just so incredibly unlikeable that I couldn't give one jot whether they ended up together. Consequently I ended each fight disappointed that her ex wasn't able to pummel Scott into the ground. I understand that characters should have flaws, but for me they should still be likeable in spite of that (at least if the audience is supposed to root for them). Instead, the guy was a self-obsessed tool who treated all the genuinely nice people in his life terribly. His love interest on the other hand, was one of these 'too cool for school' types who needed to climb out of her own backside.

The acting varied hugely - while I thought Evans was awesome and Routh surprisingly good, but Cera's whole one-expression thing got tedious after about 30 seconds. Wouldn't have been such a blow to the film had he not been the MAIN character.

Other than that the effects were reasonably good and the video game style was an original idea, but it was all hampered by a plot that was just incredibly repetitive and made the whole experience unenaging and by extension, dull.

--------------------------------

As before, this round will conclude in a couple of days, good luck

I had no idea on 3 and was going to guess Blade Runner, even though I knew it wouldn’t fit. Ex Machina came to me right at the last second!

Superbad was also a guess, American Pie didn’t really fit so I went for the other pissed up American teen comedy.

I was going to go for Superbad as well!

Vermilion wrote:

One Star Movie Reviews: Leaderboard

Cora - 33pts
Moggy - 33pts
Skarjo - 31pts
Taf - 30pts
Sawyerpip - 30pts
Ironhide - 28pts
Rax - 27pts
LightWanderer - 27pts
Edd - 26pts
OrangeRKN - 26pts
Jenuall - 16pts

....Round 4 will follow a bit later this evening...

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

strawberry float this gooseberry fool.