GRcade

This is a thread to share any conversation that you have overheard but not been involved in.

Earlier today I overheard the following conversation in the office.


Person 1: strawberry floating trains were delayed again yesterday. Somebody ought to invent teleporters!

Person 2: Oh that is definitely going to happen, maybe not in my lifetime but they are definitely coming.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: Yes, think about it. Thousands of years ago you could only cook food using fire, now we have microwaves that can cook food just with waves. Teleporting isn’t that far fetched.

Person 1: Yeah….I guess….

Between your work and your facebook I feel like you must be being punished by a higher power Moggy

Woman walking into the office last week: It smells like hot vaseline

OrangeRKN wrote:Between your work and your facebook I feel like you must be being punished by a higher power Moggy

Don’t forget my landlords!

I must have been Hitler in a previous life.

Arrived at the office at 07:30 this morning and there's some building work going on campus just outside our building.

"Why don't you all just strawberry float OFF?"

*builder walks off site and away down the car park*

All a bit early for that sorta thing.

Person 1: What the hell did you do to it?

Person 2: Just knocked it

Person 1: Really? It looks horrible!

Person 3: It looks just like a sausage roll!

Moggy wrote:Person 1: What the hell did you do to it?

Person 2: Just knocked it

Person 1: Really? It looks horrible!

Person 3: It looks just like a sausage roll!

I think we all know that you were Person 2 in that conversation, Moggy

Preezy wrote:

Moggy wrote:Person 1: What the hell did you do to it?

Person 2: Just knocked it

Person 1: Really? It looks horrible!

Person 3: It looks just like a sausage roll!

I think we all know that you were Person 2 in that conversation, Moggy

Nope. Mine looks like a toad in the hole.

Moggy wrote:OP...

Crazy lady?

Drumstick wrote:

Moggy wrote:OP...

Crazy lady?

Which one?

Person 1: Well I can’t say it
Person 2: It’s easy, ombudsman
Person 1: Ombussyman?
Person 2: No there is no bus in the word
Person 1: Yes there is
Person 2: No there isn’t, look at how it is spelt
Person 1: ….
Person 1: Oh yeah, OM-BUS-MAN?
Person 2: Yeah that’ll do……

I'm always worried if my neighbours hear the missus and I talking. We've adapted an odd offensive sense of humour to each other.

This morning:
Wife: Did you lock the front door cos if you didn't I'll beat you.
Me: Bitch please, check it if you don't believe me
Wife: You wanna go bitch you wanna take me on?
Me: Don't make me give you the back hand again.

It's all in jest but yeah, I worry if people think we're serious.

A bloke in the pub once said that Japan was like a foreign country.

Photek wrote:I'm always worried if my neighbours hear the missus and I talking. We've adapted an odd offensive sense of humour to each other.

This morning:
Wife: Did you lock the front door cos if you didn't I'll beat you.
Me: Bitch please, check it if you don't believe me
Wife: You wanna go bitch you wanna take me on?
Me: Don't make me give you the back hand again.

It's all in jest but yeah, I worry if people think we're serious.

We're exactly the same, we deliberately start arguments in supermarket checkouts just for a laugh.

We tend to bicker quite a lot but I don't think we've ever actually had an argument.

Photek wrote:I'm always worried if my neighbours hear the missus and I talking. We've adapted an odd offensive sense of humour to each other.

This morning:
Wife: Did you lock the front door cos if you didn't I'll beat you.
Me: Bitch please, check it if you don't believe me
Wife: You wanna go bitch you wanna take me on?
Me: Don't make me give you the back hand again.

It's all in jest but yeah, I worry if people think we're serious.

Sounds like a pre-emptive Staydead defence.

I work as a mortgage advisor and one of my colleagues was doing an application with a customer today (I only heard his side of the conversation but it went something like this)

CO: I take it your wife changed her name when you got married?

CU:....

CO: that was quite the coincidence that you both had the same name

CU:.....

CO: your uncles daughter? So your cousin :/

CU:....

CO: Well if you say so

I had to leave to do something else and didn't get to ask him about the rest of this conversation but I'd imagine it makes a good story.

Overheard by me in Poundland whilst buying some chocolate:

Teen 1: my sister is having a baby shower
Teen 2: how boring.
T1: what do you mean?
T2: well it's not like she's giving birth to an apatchi helicopter is it? That would be epic!

Walking down the high street of South Shields

Small child in push chair: crying none stop
Father pushing him: Well son, life is gooseberry fool!

Godzilla wrote:South Shields ... life is gooseberry fool!

Sounds about right.

Moggy wrote:Person 1: Well I can’t say it
Person 2: It’s easy, ombudsman
Person 1: Ombussyman?
Person 2: No there is no bus in the word
Person 1: Yes there is
Person 2: No there isn’t, look at how it is spelt
Person 1: ….
Person 1: Oh yeah, OM-BUS-MAN?
Person 2: Yeah that’ll do……

ARGH this is one of the banes of my working life, people who can’t spell or say ombudsman but still use it as a threat.