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Re: Overheard

Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2019 10:20 am
by Lagamorph
Seriously, what is the point of snakes?

Re: Overheard

Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2019 10:36 am
by Jenuall
:roll:

The tail is the point obviously.

Re: Overheard

Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2019 10:43 am
by Victor Mildew
Lagamorph wrote:
Seriously, what is the point of snakes?


"do we need 'em?"

Re: Overheard

Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 1:41 pm
by Moggy
Person 1: “I just don’t want to do anything when it’s cold weather like this”

Person 2: “It’s not cold, it’s just raining, it’s still warm out”

Person 1: “Yeah but I got wet this morning so the air conditioning is making me cold”

Person 2: “You can’t say the weather is cold just because the air conditioning inside is making you cold!”

Person 1: “I can because I am cold”

Re: Overheard

Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:02 pm
by Cumberdanes
Person 1: "How do you spell Pacific?"

Person 2: "What, like the ocean?"

Person 1: "No, I'm asking someone a question but I need them to be more Pacific"

Person 2: "You mean specific right?"

Person 1: "No Pacific, like Pacifically"

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 1:51 pm
by Moggy
Person 1: “So Boris is the new Prime Minister?”

Person 2: “Yes, Theresa May has just gone to the Queen to resign and then Boris takes over”

Person 1: “Oh right. So what happens with the cat?”

Person 2: “Eh?”

Person 1: “Well I was watching the news last night and there was a cat at Downing Street, what happens to the cat?”

Person 2: “I have no idea”

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 1:54 pm
by Peter Crisp
It's all part of a giant conspiracy and the cat is the real PM and the stupid humans in Downing Street are just for show.

It's why the price of milk is so low at the moment.

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:39 pm
by Oblomov Boblomov
Person 1: " 'Boris Johnson confirmed as new Prime Minister' ...huh, wasn't he Prime Minister before?"

Person 2: "Don't know"

Person 1: "I've missed Hollyoaks"

Re: Overheard

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:18 am
by Kezzer
"and S for synagog "

Re: Overheard

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 3:19 pm
by Victor Mildew
Guy - they bang on about how bad a US trade deal would be, and they'd have us eating chlorinated chicken. Still do the deal, take the MONEY, just don't buy it! We can have both!

Other guy - it doesn't work that way. Many people won't have the choice

Guy - you ALWAYS have a choice! People always have a choice! I wouldn't buy chlorinated chicken. It wouldn't change MY buying habits!

Me - ...aren't you vegetarian?

Guy - what?!

Me - you're vegetarian aren't you?

Guy - so?

Me - well it obviously wouldn't change your habits would it?

Guy - *huffs and sits down*

Re: Overheard

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 3:31 pm
by Cumberdanes
Overheard on the train to work.

Kid 1: "Is that man playing a Switch?"

Kid 2: "Well it must be a fake Switch, it's got two screens"

For the record I was playing on a DS Lite.

Re: Overheard

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 3:32 pm
by Moggy
Victor Mistletoe wrote:Guy - they bang on about how bad a US trade deal would be, and they'd have us eating chlorinated chicken. Still do the deal, take the MONEY, just don't buy it! We can have both!

Other guy - it doesn't work that way. Many people won't have the choice

Guy - you ALWAYS have a choice! People always have a choice! I wouldn't buy chlorinated chicken. It wouldn't change MY buying habits!

Me - ...aren't you vegetarian?

Guy - what?!

Me - you're vegetarian aren't you?

Guy - so?

Me - well it obviously wouldn't change your habits would it?

Guy - *huffs and sits down*


Sounds like you had a really tough delivery there.

Re: Overheard

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:11 am
by Memento Mori
Victor Mistletoe wrote:
Lagamorph wrote:
Seriously, what is the point of snakes?


"do we need 'em?"

Yes we get rid of them, Noah they go on the ark.

Re: Overheard

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 1:00 pm
by Zilnad
"Nothing's actually changed with this election. It's still conservatives and Boris Johnson in charge, just like it was yesterday."

Re: Overheard

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 5:12 pm
by Moggy
"So he shat in a kettle and then molested someone?"

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2021 9:33 am
by Victor Mildew
Heard a good one this weekend. We were outside a pub in Somerset ( :dread: ) so imagine this is the most stereotypical female farmer accent:

"Ere, you'll loik Wells food mark-eht, it's very exot-eck, they have humus, chilli pepperzzz and olives!"

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2021 9:44 am
by Jenuall
Yarp

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:34 am
by Drumstick
Bin men have just been, by exchanging the little-heard nowadays Budweiser campaign phrase from the 90s, "wassup".

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:40 am
by Zilnad
Victor Mildew wrote:Heard a good one this weekend. We were outside a pub in Somerset ( :dread: ) so imagine this is the most stereotypical female farmer accent:

"Ere, you'll loik Wells food mark-eht, it's very exot-eck, they have humus, chilli pepperzzz and olives!"


If they don't also have guacamole, I'm not going.

Re: Overheard

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:40 am
by Zilnad
Victor Mildew wrote:Heard a good one this weekend. We were outside a pub in Somerset ( :dread: ) so imagine this is the most stereotypical female farmer accent:

"Ere, you'll loik Wells food mark-eht, it's very exot-eck, they have humus, chilli pepperzzz and olives!"


If they don't also have guacamole, I'm not going.