Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x

[Mini E]

Having a dead family and not having to worry about that stuff for our wedding

[Corazon de Leon]

Ah family relationships, the best kind of disaster. My dad's committed some absolutely despicable acts to the family, to the point where I severed ties with him in 2014, took my mum's maiden name as my legal surname and have no real urge to ever have any contact with him.

My brother still is relatively friendly with him, but also doesn't really give a strawberry float if he speaks to him or not. Recently he seems to be trying to build bridges at the behest of his new partner - we both keep getting texts inviting us/our partners to his girlfriend's house to have lunch with her and her young kids. I recently received a text congratulating me on my uni stuff - something that he's never been made aware of and that's only been broadcast on my private social media accounts. I don't know how he knows, probably through my aunt who has stopped interacting with me since I changed my surname(she sees it as an affront to my grandparents I think).

He also keeps posting occasion cards for me, and more recently my mum, through her door when I haven't lived there for three years and he's not supposed to have any contact with her(let alone come to the door and upset the damn dog), it's pure manipulation as far as I'm concerned. The point is coming in the next couple of weeks where I'll need to meet him and tell him to back off, but I don't look forward to that.

Can't say I envy my future kids, who will have a tiny family - will most likely be putting a ring on it at the end of the year, but my GF's family are mostly estranged(and in Brisbane) and obviously I don't speak to my dad, so there's only the two of us, my mum and my brother/his fiancee and their future kids to pick from. I never had much contact with my cousins growing up - the ones who live in this country are all much, much older than I am, almost like additional aunts and uncles, so it was only ever really the two of us. It's tough as well, not having that extended family around.

[KingK]

I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

[PaperMacheMario]

Congrats Taf!

12 1/2 weeks until mine and still haven't got a photographer or afternoon food sorted - thankfully PPM can't come so our catering budget has halved.

Spending a fair chunk of my time in your company in Subway pre-match is not a fair representation of my eating habits.

My side of the family are in the process of breaking up, moving away and dying. My gfs side dont speak English.

I think if we ever had a wedding it would be a wild ride.

You’ve been back to her family’s in Poland, right? Any idea what to expect from a Polish wedding? We’re off to one next month where we’ll be the only non-Polish speaking people there, so looking forward to getting targeted with the table vodka or something.

[Karl_]

I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

I'm sorry about your father.

I don't think the rest of your post is very good advice. A person with a nasty family shouldn't be pressured to 'embrace them no matter what'. If a person has reason to no longer speak to a family member I doubt they are in any sense 'lucky' to have them. It's downright mean-spirited to say that someone 'doesn't deserve happiness' because they have a family member they have had to make the difficult decision to cut off.

[Floex]

I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

Cripes.

[Victor Mildew]

I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

Oh shut up.

[Tomous]

KingK I think you should rethink your post.

I’m sorry you lost your father but your post is extremely insulting (not to mention condescending) to anyone who’s had the misfortune to deal with abusive family members.

[False]

My side of the family are in the process of breaking up, moving away and dying. My gfs side dont speak English.

I think if we ever had a wedding it would be a wild ride.

You’ve been back to her family’s in Poland, right? Any idea what to expect from a Polish wedding? We’re off to one next month where we’ll be the only non-Polish speaking people there, so looking forward to getting targeted with the table vodka or something.

Been there quite a few times.

My girlfriend says of Polish weddings that they are a two day affair where the custom is everyone drinks and eats as much as they please. Its very much on the hosts to ensure every guest is satisfied and plied with goodies.

She is shouting at me now to get ready and make sure you bring some money in a card as a gift as that is the custom. Apparently if its traditional it will be full of games where you have to dance with the bride or whatever. And the bar should all be paid for.

In my personal experience most Polish people Ive encountered have at least a fundamental grasp of English and they always seem to make an effort to be welcoming and get you involved. Friendliness almost bordering on the manic is something I have had a few times.

[Mini E]

Sorry that you’ve had a rough time KingK but that is a quite frankly ridiculous post.

[Somebody Else's Problem]

I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

If somebody physically, psychologically, emotionally and financially abuses me, then they can get strawberry floated, whether they happen to share my DNA or not. I'm sorry about your dad, but strawberry float off.

[Victor Mildew]

I remember that time my dad drunkenly tried to put his hand down my pants a few months before he died (yes really). If only you'd posted this sooner, I could have taken him on holiday or something. Same with my thieving selfish banana split of a sister, might buy her some flowers tomorrow.

[<]:^D]

is KingK normally this wrong in the Games section too?

[Moggy]

I have always got on well with my family, my mum and dad are cool, my brother is ok and everyone else is nice enough. I totally understand that not everyone is that lucky though and that people don’t want to spend time with arseholes just because they are related.

[Rax]

Sorry for what happened to you dude but embracing someone no matter what is very bad advice, it doesnt matter who they are, if they are a banana split and youre better off without them then you shouldnt embrace them.

[Dual]

How is that post working out for you KingK?

[kerr9000]

My mums side of the family is mostly great, unfortunately my mum is no longer with us but she was awesome. My dad is great but his side of the family is large ( he was one of 8 pretty much all of which had 3 kids) and some of them are not so great in many ways, some are just absolute druggies, others have actual connections to pretty serious organized crime, so both me and my dad keep away from them completely. One of my brothers is annoying but OK and I tolerate him, the other essentially has run his life so deep in to the ground, its unrepairable and any time you try to help him it drags you down with it so I just don't bother anymore, as a result of trying to help him in the past, I have lost a fair bit of money, and been threatened with extreme violence such as being set on fire etc

Its sad if you cant have a relationship with family yes, but if they make it so having that relationship would be detrimental to your physical or mental health then you have to put yourself first sometimes even if that means writing them out of your life.

Fortunately my fiancees family are old and extremely nice and chill, there lovely.

[Fade]

I can see where KingK is coming from, not everyone has horrible experiences like some of those others posted in the thread. I think KingK was more refering to families that tear themselves apart over money/drama etc

Anyways, on the subject of family, I didn't quite realise how lucky I was until I met my current girlfriend. Her father is a strict Muslim who often prioritises his own beliefs over her happiness and her mother is like one of those dark sitcom mothers who puts down their child at every given opportunity and only contacts them when they need a favour.

I feel sorry for people who are unfortunate enough to have parents that don't put their child's happiness first.

[Tsunade]

My dad had an affair with a woman when I was 7, and then moved to America to be with her. His family didn't really bother with us except his mother who told us they were married a few weeks after his divorce to my mum. I slowly lost contact with his mother. None of the rest of his family bothered with us whatsoever, they completely cut us off.

Dad tries to contact me now and again, but he made a load of promises to me and my brother (who was 1 when all of this happened) and I just can't be bothered any more. Mum's side of the family are a godsend.

So KingK not everyone can embrace their families. And as others have said, I'm sorry your dad died. But please, don't try to fit yourself into everyones situations, you have no idea what's going on behind closed doors.

[Skarjo]

I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

Holy strawberry float dude.

Like, I get on with my family but some people really don't for absolutely valid reasons.

I get that you had it rough but Jesus strawberry float man, your experiences are not universal and cutting out people who are toxic to your mental health and is entirely valid is absolutely 100% OK.