Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

[Xmasday]

It's a lot more common than you think Yubel

[Errkal]

Otherwise she's caring and fun and all the rest of it but ultimately if I can't get over this I'm not sure what the alternative is. Apart from wanking a bunch and resigning myself to sub-par sex.

You make it sound like sex is a necessity, like food and sleep. I've gone 27 years without wanking/jacking off or any of that and I'm still standing.

Also, actually, what? You've never once made yourself cum? I get that people are asexual but surely even just once out of curiosity you would've given it a shot.

At 27 year giving it a go would end up like the scene in scary movie.

[JChristmas]

[no]

Yeah, there's no way of saying it without sounding like a dick but I know how to get women off, I've been with enough.

GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY JEE-ZUS

But having lots of sex doesn't mean you are good at it

[Errkal]

Yeah, there's no way of saying it without sounding like a dick but I know how to get women off, I've been with enough.

GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY JEE-ZUS

But having lots of sex doesn't mean you are good at it

As Rocsteady has proved.

[Partridge Iciclebubbles]

Yeah, there's no way of saying it without sounding like a dick but I know how to get women off, I've been with enough.

GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY JEE-ZUS

But having lots of sex doesn't mean you are good at it

As Rocsteady has proved.

[no]

Yeah, there's no way of saying it without sounding like a dick but I know how to get women off, I've been with enough.

GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY JEE-ZUS

But having lots of sex doesn't mean you are good at it

As Rocsteady has proved.

[Silent Right]

Yeah, there's no way of saying it without sounding like a dick but I know how to get women off, I've been with enough.

GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY JEE-ZUS

But having lots of sex doesn't mean you are good at it

As Rocsteady has proved.

[Rudolphin]

Love to see ethno-fascists in my memes.

[pjbetman]

I had a random call off a mutual friend today that lasted over an hour, she was telling me all the ways Eve is trying to ruin my life behind the scenes

apparently this mutual friend is now completely disinterested in what she has to say because she know its fabrications having been in the situations or whatever is being described to try and shoot me down

she literally just said to me that she is being a nasty bitch and is trying to destroy my life via every avenue she has access to

Get her strawberry floatin banged up...unless she has something on your media server...

[Rocsteady]

Yeah, there's no way of saying it without sounding like a dick but I know how to get women off, I've been with enough.

GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY JEE-ZUS

But having lots of sex doesn't mean you are good at it

To be fair, true. You can't have consistent long-term fwb style situations without putting the work in though.

From my experience of more promiscuous women vs the opposite, there's definitely a strong correlation.

[Rudolphin]

Quick Am I The Asshole post:

My wife is starting anti-depressents today. She's worried about the side effects which include increased anxiety and other nasty things. She told me this morning she was taking the first one at lunch. I asked her if she could let me know when she's taken it so I can take care not to be annoying or, you know, extra. She repeats that she's taking it at lunch. I know, I say, but can you just let me know once you have.

She then launches into a rant about how I'm like a dude she had interacted with on twitter who was constantly asking her, a stranger, to remind him when certain podcasts were happening etc. I took mild offense at this as I was trying to be considerate but she was turning it into a situation where I was putting an emotional burden on her. Queue a huge argument and now we're not speaking.

So. AITA?

[Somebody Else's Presents]

Quick Am I The Asshole post:

My wife is starting anti-depressents today. She's worried about the side effects which include increased anxiety and other nasty things. She told me this morning she was taking the first one at lunch. I asked her if she could let me know when she's taken it so I can take care not to be annoying or, you know, extra. She repeats that she's taking it at lunch. I know, I say, but can you just let me know once you have.

She then launches into a rant about how I'm like a dude she had interacted with on twitter who was constantly asking her, a stranger, to remind him when certain podcasts were happening etc. I took mild offense at this as I was trying to be considerate but she was turning it into a situation where I was putting an emotional burden on her. Queue a huge argument and now we're not speaking.

So. AITA?

I think the expectation is that you avoid being annoying or "extra" anyway. Also, arguing with her about it certainly won't have helped with her mental state. Just apologise, and back off a little.

[Saigon Slick]

Agree with MCN. It’s just miscommunication, neither of you is the bad guy - she’s thinking that telling you she’ll be taking it at lunch is giving you the information you’re looking for, you are looking for a more specific time. She might feel like you questioning the time she’s taking tablets is adding to the stress she’s already feeling.

For me, best option is probably to apologise, let her know you’ll be there if needed whatever happens, and move forward.

[Partridge Iciclebubbles]

Quick Am I The Asshole post:

My wife is starting anti-depressents today. She's worried about the side effects which include increased anxiety and other nasty things. She told me this morning she was taking the first one at lunch. I asked her if she could let me know when she's taken it so I can take care not to be annoying or, you know, extra. She repeats that she's taking it at lunch. I know, I say, but can you just let me know once you have.

She then launches into a rant about how I'm like a dude she had interacted with on twitter who was constantly asking her, a stranger, to remind him when certain podcasts were happening etc. I took mild offense at this as I was trying to be considerate but she was turning it into a situation where I was putting an emotional burden on her. Queue a huge argument and now we're not speaking.

So. AITA?

I don’t think you were an arsehole to ask in the first place, but after she reacted badly you should have just left it alone. “Lunchtime” might not be precise enough for you, but it gives you a rough idea and probably wasn’t worth pushing her on.

You’re not an arsehole but as she is going to take anti-depressants it doesn’t sound like she is in the right frame of mind to deal with things and you should probably make a mental note to let things drop and not repeat questions.

[I Shot A Kid]

It's an unnecessary action/question. Firstly because you aren't planning on being annoying anyway (right?!) and secondly because I doubt she will be comfortable with the idea of you consciously adapting your standard behaviour. If it were me, I would want to take my medication and for everyone/everything else to carry on as usual. I wouldn't want to feel like people were pandering to me, like I'm an emotional-charity case.

[Dual]

You're the asshole.

Just because.

[Rudolphin]

You're the asshole.

Just because.

AI(More of an)A(Than Usual)

Thanks guys. I don't disagree with anything that's been said, and I think I regret expressing my own offence as I did. I might try to apologise, but she won't accept it. She's very much a "If you're apologising you strawberry floated up and saying sorry changes nothing" sort of person. I'm just going to work in the bedroom today and leave her alone.

Also, I'm annoying as gooseberry fool normally.

[Karl_]

Hey Taf, I don't mean this in the wrong way at all, it's just an honest observation.

The only time I really argue a little bit with my partner is when we're both feeling low or frustrated at something. It usually goes like this:
ONE OF US: [is a bit prickly]
THE OTHER: [wrapped up in their own feelings] Ouch, that was a bit hurtful.
ONE OF US: Ugh, I'm already here upset, now I've got to pretend I'm OK to worry about you?

Step one doesn't happen if we're both fine, and step two doesn't happen if there is one fine one who is able to do the emotional labour to be particularly considerate, but if we're both not doing OK then we do tend to fall into that trap sometimes.

If your girlfriend's just been diagnosed with depression, now might not be the best time to do anything that she perceives as her "having to take your feelings into account". If it's her first time on them she's going to be very worried, and if she's going back to them then she might feel quite frustrated deep down, and that's on top of the depression itself which does compromise you emotionally.

I think the best thing you can do is be as cheerful and positive in yourself as possible (I'm aware you have your own mental health stuff and this could be difficult, but she'll appreciate the effort), try to be confident and decisive about things that only involve you (or that she says she might like to defer to you), and at the same time try not to overtly treat her too differently (it's very important a depressed person not feel like a burden).

[Mommy Christmas]

I'm probably in the asshole category but one thing I know is when to let things lie. "lunchtime" should have just been met with "cool" and left at that. You (Taf) had little to gain by asking the exact time of her taking the pill and it's likely to have made her more stressed by emphasising the point.