Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

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MrKirov
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by MrKirov » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:38 pm

suzzopher wrote:Thing is I don’t think I can do this without her, she was my whole world for 15 years.


You can.

Sorry I dont post much so you probably dont really know me, but reading up on your situation, I see a lot of similarities with what happened to me a year ago- so wanted to weigh in to tell you it does get better.

A quick recap. Was with my ex for 10 years. Lived together for 9, engaged in September 2018, bought and moved into our "forever home" in order to have kids in December 2018.

February 2019- come home from my third day at my new job, and shes gone. Took my cat, all her stuff, and left me a note saying she couldnt be in the relationship anymore. Havent spoken to her really since, and no closure.

I get the heart-wrenching, emptiness and the big black void you feel right now. Constantly thinking of the why's and the how's and thinking you cant get through the day. You have to ride it out. Slowly but surely those thoughts get easier to deal with. Eventually, you can think back on your past without the sadness involved. You wont see that yet as its too soon- but trust me when I say that however hard it gets- and as cliche as it sounds- the ending is a new beginning. You're growing, and growing stronger and more independent with every passing minute.

You'll have ups and downs. You'll have sleepless nights and feel like you cant shut your brain up. But eventually, without realising it, you'll end up in a daily routine- one of your own making, defined by your own choices, wants and needs.

Personally, im in a better place mentally, and physically than I was. And the same will happen to you.

Just dont force it, and dont let anyone or thing dictate to you what or how you should be feeling. It takes as long as it takes- but trust me when I say it does get better, and one day without noticing, you'll realise you're suddenly free of the hurt, and the pain, and you'll start to see that optimism and excitement for the future again.

For now, do whatever makes you happy. Gaming, eating, running, cooking, TV- whatever YOU need to go on through the next day, the next hour- the next minute. Now is the time to be kind to yourself, with no judgements or pre-conceived notions of what you should be doing or feeling. Ride it out brother- you'll be your best self soon enough.

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<]:^D
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by <]:^D » Mon Jun 15, 2020 5:27 pm

top post that MrKirov

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Christopher
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Christopher » Mon Jun 15, 2020 6:54 pm

Thanks for MrKirov and Proto.

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False
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by False » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:00 pm

wow strawberry float you suzz

:wub:

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by <]:^D » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:03 pm

:lol:

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Victor Mildew » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:28 pm

False wrote:wow strawberry float you suzz

:wub:


there is no suzz, only egg.

Hexx wrote:Ad7 is older and balder than I thought.
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Christopher
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Christopher » Mon Jun 15, 2020 10:35 pm

False wrote:wow strawberry float you suzz

:wub:


Sorry dude thought I’d already replied :fp:

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False
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by False » Tue Jun 16, 2020 12:10 am

its ok my man, be well

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Christopher
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Christopher » Sun Jun 21, 2020 8:50 am

Not proud of myself last night I called her at 2am to prove there wasn’t a guy there :fp: the kids were with me, I thought I was doing okay this week, then I go and become a twat at the weekend.

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blackoutHERO
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by blackoutHERO » Sun Jun 21, 2020 10:57 am

It happens. Not the same level as you but I'm now a month out of a 5 year break up which put me on my arse. Wanting to check social media, last online on WhatsApp, wanting to contact her, it's such an intense feeling and urge to fight with. Weekends are definitely the hardest so I'm with you there.

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Drumstick
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Drumstick » Sun Jun 21, 2020 10:59 am

Sorry to hear that Cone mate. How you holding up?

Best advice is to remove/block ex's from social media and contact details from your devices.

Worrying trend of GRcade breakups this year, hopefully there won't be anymore.

One man should not have this much power in this game. Luckily I'm not an ordinary man.
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blackoutHERO
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by blackoutHERO » Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:09 am

Drumstick wrote:Sorry to hear that Cone mate. How you holding up?

Best advice is to remove/block ex's from social media and contact details from your devices.


Och terrible in all honesty. Feel like lifes taken a huge 180. From living in Melbourne with amazing job about to travel the world, saving for a ring, moving to Ireland to get our own house then within space of a few weeks I'm back in my old bedroom in my childhood home. strawberry floating grim.

I'll get there eventually I hope. Still pretty fresh.

If anyone has stories of feeling they lost 'the one' and then getting someone better for them and becoming happier please share :slol:

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Corazon de Leon
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Corazon de Leon » Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:22 am

Sorry to hear that mate, that really sucks.

It is good to see you back here though, and we're here if you need us.

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False
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by False » Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:31 am

blackoutHERO wrote:
Drumstick wrote:Sorry to hear that Cone mate. How you holding up?

Best advice is to remove/block ex's from social media and contact details from your devices.


Och terrible in all honesty. Feel like lifes taken a huge 180. From living in Melbourne with amazing job about to travel the world, saving for a ring, moving to Ireland to get our own house then within space of a few weeks I'm back in my old bedroom in my childhood home. strawberry floating grim.

I'll get there eventually I hope. Still pretty fresh.

If anyone has stories of feeling they lost 'the one' and then getting someone better for them and becoming happier please share :slol:


I went from house, family, no worries, over 4 years in, 'proposing' and looking for rings, to being destitute in my old bedroom and ready to end it all

its really really gooseberry fool is the understatement of the forever, it stays gooseberry fool for a long time, and the only way to stop it being gooseberry fool is to drag your own ass out of it - there is no timefram on it, Im still working on it a year later, but it gets better every day, and then one morning you wake up and you dont care about her anymore

it was that fast, I just woke up and felt nothing

block all avenues of contact unless there is a need for one essential one for sorting finances and everything, remain constantly civil, avoid the urge to call up and remember if shes with someone else it will really feel terrible, but what bearing does this person have on your life? nothing

you run your own gooseberry fool and get your own ass stood up and youll be better for it in the end

I managed to get out there and meet a girl and realise that there was a life beyond it, I stopped seeing her as it wasnt what I wanted at the time but Ive since met an amazing girl and we really seem to have something

its been a strawberry floating hard year but my close friends and gr helped me throughout, just use the resources you have available and remember you are the only banana split who can tell you how to live your life and where its going

having no money is just awful, but money is transient and will return in time if you work hard and keep your eyes on the prize

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by False » Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:34 am

also disable 'last online' and read receipts

this is much healthier for your mind overall, let alone in this circumstance

honestly a game changer

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Parksey
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Parksey » Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:39 am

Yep, you have to burn every single bridge you can. A break up is a beareavement and you have to go through the grieving process. You can't do that if you keep tricking your brain with little endorphin hits like a text message from them, a look at their photos or some belief that you can still be friends.

Human beings are remarkably adaptable and your mind can course correct itself, so even if you don't think you have that strength, you do. The important thing is to not waiver or compromise, as once you compromise once it's basically just a clock ticking down to when you'll compromise again.

Though it's also important not to beat yourself up over it if you do have a wobbly moment. Putting yourself down and thinking you're weak isn't going to do you any favours.

And there is no "one" just "some-"one. Your happiness wasn't some miraculous 1 in 7 billion shot.

Stick that on your shitty cards, Clinton's.

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Fade
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Fade » Sun Jun 21, 2020 12:05 pm

Yeah strawberry float Clinton's.

banana splits.

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Hypes
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Hypes » Sun Jun 21, 2020 1:17 pm

False wrote:also disable 'last online' and read receipts


These are the worst invention.

I find reminiscing about all the times she was a psycho and made your life hell helps :lol:

Hope you're ok Xopher

Last edited by Hypes on Sun Jun 21, 2020 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Winckle
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Winckle » Sun Jun 21, 2020 1:18 pm

Fade wrote:Yeah strawberry float Clinton's.

banana splits.

Fade: Confirmed Trump supporter.

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Fade
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(
by Fade » Sun Jun 21, 2020 2:18 pm

Winckle wrote:
Fade wrote:Yeah strawberry float Clinton's.

banana splits.

Fade: Confirmed Trump supporter.

Look at this majestic man drink his water and be applauded for it like he's a toddler. Gotta love him, wish we could all live so free :wub:


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