Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Yeah that may be it.

I think I probably make my boyfriend less approachable rather than more. He's much more personable than me.

Fade wrote:I'm guessing I must just look really dodgy or something then, I do have a shaved head and facial piercings so maybe that puts some people off.

No offence intended but that's 100% the reason. :lol:

You probably look a bit intimidating to people who don't know you.

YouTube

You never can tell how a shaved head will change things, my head's shaved most of the time but occasionally I'll grow it, years ago I was on a dating site with pics of me with hair, I shaved it updated the photos and within minutes got a message from a lass telling me she had seen me with hair and ignored me cause I looked ugly but now she's seen my shaved head she wanted to jump my bones.....

People are pretty shallow when it comes to looks.

Aye, course. The worst is when you have a black eye, you get treated like a total social pariah.

Funnily enough I remember being in Japan with a shaved head(I’m bald in fairness, it’s that or a horseshoe). People would turn round and walk the other way in the street and stuff like that. It’s the only time I’ve ever seen someone do that, and I assume it’s because of my ‘do. :lol:

Two years married today so I'm wearing oversized dungarees on for all you can eat Korean BBQ.

If they're still oversized when you're done you haven't got your monies worth.

I’ve now spent a total of two weeks with this new lass, it’s been amazing, we get on so well, I usually like to have time to myself but with her I love being around her. It all feels so natural. I’ve never had so much affection from someone before and I’m able to completely return that affection, I’m not one to touch or to be touched usually.

She was meant to go back to NI a few weeks ago but had more stuff here to sort out. Not sure how we progress this going forward though, as she’s heading back to NI this week and with no concrete plan on returning to England until we’re back in the office (she’s got severe asthma so it’s literally just been the two of us).

She’s told me she’s in love with me, that she wants to be with me but with how uncertain the world is it’s hard for her to commit to anything, I don’t blame her it is mental, however I’ve fallen for her too and really do see a future with her. Urgh strawberry floating COVID.

It's great to see you feeling that way. The mental way the world is right now is certainly skewing a lot of decisions into unsure territory.

Young hearts be free tonight.

I feel a bit guilty about the way I'm currently feeling.

I don't know if my state of mind is affecting things or not, but I'm just really not enthused about seeing my girlfriend.

She's really lovely but, and I know this is going to sound silly, she's too nice. She's ridiculously easy going and as an easy going person myself I find the whole thing a bit directionless.

Not to mention she has said she doesn't want kids, or to get married, and has heavily hinted she doesn't want to move anywhere. I don't want nothing to change for the next 40 years you know?

Plus she doesn't at all care about all the 'green' stuff I care about which kinda bothers me.

Not really sure what to do.

DarkRula wrote:It's great to see you feeling that way. The mental way the world is right now is certainly skewing a lot of decisions into unsure territory.

There’s a lot more to this.

So a couple of years ago in our office some ceiling tiles fell through (before I joined the company) she ended up not being able to breath in the office, so for two years she’s had to work from home a lot and then sit in her own office with air purifiers to survive she finally got sent to the hospital and turns out she had 9% lung damage from whatever she was exposed to. She’s currently fighting to save her job and having to go through the courts to do so. She’s been single for nearly 10 years (hasn’t even been with anyone casually in that time) so she’s built a wall around herself where she shuts herself away from everyone including her family. Now she’s worried she won’t be able to give me the 100% attention she wants to give me.

We had a talk Thursday evening where she said she doesn’t feel she is ready for a relationship because she can’t guarantee she can give me that 100% attention, on top of not knowing where she’s is going to be if she loses her job. I’ve said that whatever happens I want a relationship with her. She says she sees a future with me, she says she’s in love with me and when we’re together it’s incredible and it really feels like this is something special.

Today I sent her a message saying that it feels weird being away from her, she replied “I miss you lots and we’ll be together when I can be myself 100% again” do I just park this and move on? I don’t want to move on from this. I wasn’t looking for anything when we started to get to know one another but she clicks for me in a way that my wife and I never did.

Giving 100% doesn't have to mean being with that person all the time, it's just being committed to them. There's no one way to have a relationship, and plenty of ways it's going to be difficult. Drawing your own boundaries like this because the relationship isn't how she's pictured it in her head is causing it to fail - not the situation it's self.

Just go with the flow, and enjoy the moments you can steal away with each other. Either way the next few months are going to be difficult, but would you rather have the possibility of being together down the horizon - or just a memory of a brief summer fling?

That does give some more detail to that decision. I think if you have that bond with each other, it shouldn't matter much if she can give 100% as long as you support each other. I can understand if she is unable to see it like that, though. Troubles such as that can also cause unsure decisions.

If you are willing to support her, and make her see that you will no matter what, it might be worth keeping it going.

That's not a growth wrote:Giving 100% doesn't have to mean being with that person all the time, it's just being committed to them. There's no one way to have a relationship, and plenty of ways it's going to be difficult. Drawing your own boundaries like this because the relationship isn't how she's pictured it in her head is causing it to fail - not the situation it's self.

Just go with the flow, and enjoy the moments you can steal away with each other. Either way the next few months are going to be difficult, but would you rather have the possibility of being together down the horizon - or just a memory of a brief summer fling?

Yeah I absolutely want to see what this is and where it goes.

It’s just so many mixed messages. One minute she’s madly in love with me, asking me to leave her a t shirt with my aftershave on so she can feel like she’s near me and giving me a pair of her knickers (clean) with her perfume on (I didn’t even ask for them). Then she pulls right back.

DarkRula wrote:That does give some more detail to that decision. I think if you have that bond with each other, it shouldn't matter much if she can give 100% as long as you support each other. I can understand if she is unable to see it like that, though. Troubles such as that can also cause unsure decisions.

If you are willing to support her, and make her see that you will no matter what, it might be worth keeping it going.

She knows I’m there and won’t be going anywhere.

Are you sure she's not just after your eggs?

Victor Mildew wrote:Are you sure she's not just after your eggs?

That was my first thought as she’s way more attractive than me.

Christopher wrote:
Victor Mildew wrote:Are you sure she's not just after your eggs?

That was my first thought as she’s way more attractive than me.

Christopher every morning.

Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

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