Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

[Somebody Else's Presents]

Maybe she's showing you how it feels?

Well that's backfired because if it wasn't for Tuesday I wouldn't have given a gooseberry fool.

For you, the day your girlfriend complained at you was the most important day of your week. For her, it was Tuesday.

To my shame, I don’t get this. Is it based on something skarjo said previously?

It's from the masterpiece that is Street Fighter: The Movie.

[Tomous]

Maybe she's showing you how it feels?

Well that's backfired because if it wasn't for Tuesday I wouldn't have given a gooseberry fool.

For you, the day your girlfriend complained at you was the most important day of your week. For her, it was Tuesday.

To my shame, I don’t get this. Is it based on something skarjo said previously?

I'm glad someone asked

[Prototype]

went right over my head.

[Buffalo]

Yeah that’s just deliberate ‘revenge’. Really petty

[Qikz]

No need to worry about those red flags anymore, I spoke to him again because it was still weird and finally got him to say directly to me that what he and I are both looking for are different things so we've broken up, I mean we were not properly together but I feel kinda better now. At least I know it's over and I can fully give up. Sucks that the first person I fell for ended up like this but I guess that's just how it goes. There'll be other people eventually and maybe those people will be more looking for the same things that I'm looking for.

[Prototype]

Sorry to hear that - but I genuinely think you've dodged a proverbial bullet.

[Christopher]

I do not know what’s going on, well I think I do, I just don’t want to accept it.

My girlfriend and I haven’t seen each other since November but last week she came back to England to get vaccinated. We had plans to see each other this weekend for a week. Since Saturday she’s been saying different things to make it so I don’t come and see her. I’ve moved around my time with the kids so I can have 10 days without seeing anyone so I can safely see her ( I’ll have my kids for two weeks after to make it up).

Today my sister told me she has a non cancerous tumour on her liver. She says it’s nothing to worry about, but when I told my girlfriend she said “Right don’t come here this week, stay there so you’re close to your sister” I told her that I can’t see my sister anyway as she’s in a bubble already so me being here will just mean I’ll be sitting in my flat alone for another week.

The other things she said about things were “she’s too busy looking for a new job” (we’ve both been told our jobs are at risk) and then earlier today we got an email saying the office will be open to pick up our stuff from our lockers if we wish. So she said “you should stay there and go clear out your locker” the email said there will be other weeks in the future too.

I have a slight suspicion you doesn’t want to see me.

[False]

say it to her directly

do you want to see me or no? dont dodge around the issue, take it head on and get the answer you need

if she says yes then say when, where, make it so its arranged, not just yeah some time soon

if she says no then thats all you need to hear

since november is a lifetime in post lockdown world

[Christopher]

Yeah it feels like a lifetime ago.

I shall ask her straight out if she answers my call later this evening.

I must admit, that if she told me her sister was ill, I’d be there in a shot to be with her to make sure she was okay. I think that not being her first thought, instead of her saying “this doesn’t sit right with me, you coming here whilst your sister is ill”. That’s quite the red flag.

[Rocsteady]

Yeah this doesn't sound great. Falsey's advice is good.

[Christopher]

Well. I asked her outright and she said “I do want to see you, just right now is not the right time. I have to get a new job, I can’t have downtime whilst I’m looking for a job. And with my court case in June (she’s taking our employer to court over discrimination on medical grounds), I need to get on top of that. I just can’t afford to take time away from this. When I can see you again, I will make it up to you”.

I’m sorry, but I’ve moved my life around to accommodate seeing her, she wouldn’t see me through fear of catching Covid if I had been with kids (understandably so). I can’t be with someone if it impacts my children’s lives. That’s a non negotiable for me. As well as we get on and as great as it is to be with her ( I can just about remember) I can’t have anyone that would be okay with me moving around my kid’s time and then throw back at me.

[Rocsteady]

That's pretty dire behaviour from her. Might be time to be thinking about parting ways.

[Squinty]

Seems like she's stringing you along, and there's no guarantee she won't continue to do so once the situation improves.

[Qikz]

Ugh this still sucks - he clearly didn't want a relationship that much and I did which is where my issue spawned from. I've been enjoying myself again hanging out with friends and what not but I keep thinking about how happy I was at the time before it all got strawberry floated up. I've never been through this before so I imagine it'll take time to get over, but completely cutting contact with him isn't really an option so I will bump into him online due to the fact we hang out with some of the same people. I just keep seeing him hanging out with some of my friends and remembering what happened and my heart kinda feels like it's sinking if that makes any sense.

[Prototype]

It makes perfect sense. If you just felt absolutely fine, you wouldn’t be human.

We have no attachment to your situation and can say objectively that he has displayed manipulative behaviour and that whilst it won’t feel like it just now, you’ve done precisely the right thing.

[Corazon de Leon]

Proto's nailed it there mate. What you're feeling is normal, it will lessen with time, and you've done the right thing. It's gonna suck for quite a while, but you will be OK.