Relationship Thread V4

[Squinty]

Get money off her, do what Moggy says.

[Trelliz]

strawberry float the vodka, get the money through PayPal or something.

[False]

its my fave vodka bro

but yeah Im gonna communicate with her less

[False]

I feel better today, had trouble getting to sleep but had a good dream

strawberry float it, its not my problem, not my issue, Im the strawberry floatin man, Im gonna focus on me

get this gooseberry fool sorted, get my vodka, focus on strawberry floatin my babes, party on

[Jenuall]

Sounds like a good plan to me - you need a clean break from these people and to get them the hell away from your life going forward.

[Christopher]

The wife and I have been going to Relate for the past nine weeks, we have one session left but I don't think we have gotten anywhere close to where my wife wants us to be.

Sadly I don't see us being able to move beyond where we are Basically we have been having troubles for the past two and a half years, we argue a lot, she's incredibly unhappy. I don't want to be the reason she's unhappy for the rest of her life.

I do worry though as last year I had to go on a DMP after the loss of income from my wife being on maternity and not being able to go back full time due to childcare costs. So my debts went into the 10's of thousands. This is another part of what is wrong with our marriage. If we were to break up, I can't even get a place to rent due to my credit score.

I want us to stay together, of course I do, but with a week to go, I am preparing for the worst.

[Corazon de Leon]

Sorry to hear it mate. You know where we are if you need a place to vent.

[Christopher]

Thanks mate

[False]

sorry to hear that dude and sorry if I’m being retarded, but have you explained it that way to her?

[Christopher]

Yeah during our last session, but she didn’t really respond to it.

[False]

I know what it’s like to be there bro

If I were to say anything I’d say if you want it fight for it, I know you are probably but just get passionate etc

I know that’s terrible wording dude but fight the good fight

[Christopher]

Thanks mate, yeah I’ll give my best shot in this last week to save to my marriage.

Basically she said if Relate doesn’t work, then that’s it for us.

[Hesk]

Thanks mate, yeah I’ll give my best shot in this last week to save to my marriage.

Basically she said if Relate doesn’t work, then that’s it for us.

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I feel like that attitude from her is one that expects it to fail before going in. 10 sessions at Relate is nowhere near long enough really to get deep into it enough to make real strides, especially if there's not a ton of work being put in during the weeks inbetween on both sides. Ideally, you'd need to continue on for longer than that before giving up. Is the 10 sessions thing what is given for free/the allotted amount? I don't fully know how it works.

edit - Those last few sentences read a bit like I'm saying that for your benefit but of course I'm sure you know this and the ball is in her court on how long you could keep at therapy for.

[Parksey]

Going into therapy thinking "if these 10 sessions don't work, then that's it" seems like the entirely wrong attitude to go in with.

Almost seems like it's just a case of her ticking off the sessions to that deadline, and letting the deadline take the responsibility of such a massive decision. Seems a bit like she's pre-determined her attitude and decision but is letting the fact "therapy didn't work" being the decoding factor. And it seems like she sort of settled on that 9 weeks ago.

I've never been to therapy so I don't really know what it's like, but I imagine it's a case of getting out what you are prepared/brave enough to put in. I imagine it's quite easy to resist it if you close yourself off, in which case, no, it wouldn't work.

Feels like you're the one fighting and scouring for a solution, and she's just sort of suffering through the sessions until she can get to the point when she can sort of take the high ground of, "well we tried therapy and that fixed nothing, it's hopeless".

[Christopher]

Yeah it’s a bit weighted toward me doing the work, she’s been trying to let go of her resentment toward me on her own time.

What I find infuriating is that her friend’s husbands are total wastes of space and yet they’re all telling my wife that we should separate.

[Mini E]

Thanks mate, yeah I’ll give my best shot in this last week to save to my marriage.

Basically she said if Relate doesn’t work, then that’s it for us.

Sorry to hear this mate. If (absolute worst case scenario) things don't work out and you go your separate ways, I'm 3 1/2 months down the line from this so please do drop me a PM if you want to/need to.

[False]

other couples take a real pleasure in seeing other couples fail so sabotage other people’s chances

makes them feel good about themselves

[Christopher]

Thanks mate, yeah I’ll give my best shot in this last week to save to my marriage.

Basically she said if Relate doesn’t work, then that’s it for us.

Sorry to hear this mate. If (absolute worst case scenario) things don't work out and you go your separate ways, I'm 3 1/2 months down the line from this so please do drop me a PM if you want to/need to.

Thanks man.

Sorry to hear you’ve been going through it too.

[Christopher]

other couples take a real pleasure in seeing other couples fail so sabotage other people’s chances

makes them feel good about themselves

I’ve just caught up on your situation too, I’m sorry you’ve been going through such a gooseberry fool time.

[False]

life is pain brother, but we’ll make it

squeeze those fleeting nuggets of joy as they present themselves