Relationship Thread V4

[Oblomov Boblomov]

Given the combined facts that 1) this thread can be and often is used for sincere discussion and 2) we're not a group of 11 year old children, can we take the mum joke out of the title yet?

[Herdanos]

Cora, I'm really sorry to hear that this has happened to you. You're a good person, and based on what you've shared with us, it can be no way said that you have failed her, or indeed failed in any way.

I would echo what Moggy says:

you know we are all here for you whenever you need to talk or even if you just want to vent.

I've never owned a cat but is there anything you could adjust about her routine that might make this transition easier for her (therefore making her cry less, therefore making things easier for you)? Am I right in thinking you also have a dog?

But the fact of the matter is, you ****will**** bounce back. I guarantee it.

I'd love to know exactly which four letter words Proto chose to self-censor here.

[site23]

Given the combined facts that 1) this thread can be and often is used for sincere discussion and 2) we're not a group of 11 year old children, can we take the mum joke out of the title yet?

I agree, I think ribbing Fade in the title was a joke started (possibly by me ) many years ago at a time when there was a lot more banter in this thread, it doesn't seem appropriate to how the thread is used now.

[RetroCora]

Thanks folks, much appreciated. I'm at great pains to make sure anyone I tell understands that this is just the end of a really long and really painful process for her even more than it has been for me - I absolutely can't be angry at her for wanting to stay there. I think that Covid and me/Maia delayed her return to Australia by the best part of two years, which is more than I think I could ever ask for. Streaming was always a me and her thing, at least to me, though so I doubt very much I'll be back on that platform as a content creator(though I'll still tune in where I can!)

In terms of the cat, I honestly dunno, I've never owned one before(Loki stays with my brother, he was ours before I met my wife). I think it takes her about two or three weeks to settle into routines and things, so I'm hoping that we're already through the worst of that. It's been absolutely brutal though, I hate to anthropomorphise because, you know, she's a cat but she seems to have really struggled with the transition.

[Qikz]

Thanks folks, much appreciated. I'm at great pains to make sure anyone I tell understands that this is just the end of a really long and really painful process for her even more than it has been for me - I absolutely can't be angry at her for wanting to stay there. I think that Covid and me/Maia delayed her return to Australia by the best part of two years, which is more than I think I could ever ask for. Streaming was always a me and her thing, at least to me, though so I doubt very much I'll be back on that platform as a content creator(though I'll still tune in where I can!)

In terms of the cat, I honestly dunno, I've never owned one before(Loki stays with my brother, he was ours before I met my wife). I think it takes her about two or three weeks to settle into routines and things, so I'm hoping that we're already through the worst of that. It's been absolutely brutal though, I hate to anthropomorphise because, you know, she's a cat but she seems to have really struggled with the transition.

Cats absolutely feel lonely and sad. The best thing you can do is love her the best you can and give her the best life available. You need each other to get through this. I'm really sorry to hear about everything man.

[Sprouty]

I proposed this weekend. Things played out really well as we are both starting new jobs, so I convinced her that as a new job treat I was booking a stay at a spa hotel. Our cabin backed on to a semi private orchard, so it was the perfect spot. She was shocked to the extent that she doesn't even really remember the proposal.

Unfortunately the ring was a size too large (despite being told her ring size on multiple occasions without asking), so that's gone back for a resizing. Overall though, very happy with how it went. God, a surprise proposal is hard. Rings are not easy to pick!

[Xeno]

Congrats to you both Mr Sprout.

[jawa_]

Nice moves, Sprouty! It sounds like your prep worked out well!

[OrangeRKN]

Congrats Sprouty! Now, honestly, which took more planning - the proposal or your recent mafia win?

[RetroCora]

Congrats man!

[Jenuall]

Congrats Sprouty!

I had a "photos from this day" thing pop up on my phone the other day, apparently it's been 15 years since I was shopping for my wife's engagement ring as my photos from the day were just gooseberry fool loads of rings to review!

15 years... feels like 5 minutes ago!

[Buffalo]

Sorry to hear about everything Cora. Not to bring it up again, but how it’s ended - her just leaving the country that way and not coming back - is in my opinion not on, pretty bloody brutal. Bitch. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

[Sprouty]

Thank you all for the kind words! Undoubtedly, it took a lot of planning. Who knew you had to learn so much about diamonds to get the best for your budget? I looked at about a dozen jeweller's spread over nearly two months to find the right ring.

The location was easier, I just put forward the idea of a night away and she immediately started looking for somewhere to stay. All I had to do was look at her suggestions and pick the one which would work for the real reason for our stay. The ring arrived just after we got back from a holiday and I had to wait for nearly a month with it stashed in my drawer due to having our weekends packed. The wait was hard!

[DarkRula]

Congrats on the proposal, Sprouty.

[Oblomov Boblomov]

Well in, Sprouty!

[aayl1]

Awesome! Congrats man!

[Drumstick]

'grats, green veg.

[RetroCora]

Sorry to hear about everything Cora. Not to bring it up again, but how it’s ended - her just leaving the country that way and not coming back - is in my opinion not on, pretty bloody brutal. Bitch. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

Appreciate the sentiment man, but I wouldn't go so far as to say she's a bitch. We'd had issues with one another, she went home with good reason and couldn't bring herself back here. I actually totally get it and really empathise with her situation because it's a hard decision to make, quitting on a long-held dream. We were talking for a while, thinking about the possibility of me going out there next year. I thought it was workable, she didn't want to put her life on hold for a year for something that might well have no chance of working out, which again I totally get, especially when you feel like you've already wasted the last six years. Now we're not really talking at all beyond necessary conversations, which sucks because I'd hoped we could at least remain on friendly terms. It's hard to completely and immediately lose contact with a loved one and I'm not really sure how I've managed to function over the last three months.

I'm strongly considering moving down there regardless though, because there are almost no prospects for me here, career or social. I won't be able to afford to buy a house until a parent dies, work is a series of temporary contracts and my group of friends is scattered around the world now, hardly any left in Glasgow. I'd shifted research specialties to look at the US-Australian political/military relationship a few years back as a way of trying to connect with her culture and found myself really, genuinely enjoying Aussie culture. Our relationship might be over but I've always wanted to live abroad - I had papers to move to Canada when we met back in 2016. I pass all of Australia's requirements and am well educated/experienced enough to be competitive for many jobs that come up. I would maybe go to Canberra and work in government, Melbourne, or even New Zealand if the right job were to fall my way. But we'll see. First I need to actually have money behind me, which is a permanent issue on part-time, short-term contract work!

[Curls]

Don't be Crazy Cora, you'd have to stay up late to watch the Rangers games in Australia. Or get up early.

(Having just read through all that, my sympathies also. I had no idea.)

[RetroCora]

I don't like this meme

EDIT: At least you're calling them The Rangers I guess