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Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:44 am
by Somebody Else's Problem
I want a lass who likes anal, not one who is anal.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:45 am
by Jenuall
Just to say I don't think planning a week of meals is that odd - I thought most people did this to be fair?

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:46 am
by False
just because she likes to clean doesnt mean she wont strawberry float yer arse mate

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:48 am
by Somebody Else's Problem
False wrote:just because she likes to clean doesnt mean she wont strawberry float yer arse mate


Yeah, but then she'll spend 3 hours scrubbing the strap-on afterwards.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:49 am
by False
is it a problem that your bird cleans your gristle off the strapon ready for next time?

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:51 am
by <]:^D
False wrote:heres the thing though, Ive been holding onto a silver bullet for well over a year now

I clean the dishes way better than she does

it takes me like 30 mins at least to do a bowl of washing, I clean every little thing on its own until its sparkling - cant abide dirty utensils - so I just put a show on the ipad, put it next to the sink and clean away - I do the dishes most days

she does the dishes really fast, gets them what I call surface clean

but when I go to put them away after drying, they are frequently greasy, or with the stubborn marks still there, and I secretly clean them again without saying anything

Ive been waiting for the perfect argument to drop this bomb for well over a year


:lol:
i love doing the washing up properly too :shifty:

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:54 am
by <]:^D
Jenuall wrote:Just to say I don't think planning a week of meals is that odd - I thought most people did this to be fair?

yeah thats not so weird - it tends to save money and mental effort too ("what should we cook today" "how about this" "oh gooseberry fool we dont have any beans" etc.)

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 12:05 pm
by Tsunade
I don't meal prep when I should. I don't live with my partner but he does come to mine a lot, if I only buy food for me and Ella it's never enough for 3 people for when h e does come over. But buying for 3 people is a waste at times and i end up buying food that wont get eaten.

And I need to buy healthier snacks. I don't tend to snack (nowhere near as much as I used to anyway) but he does and complains when I don't have anything healthy to snack on.

As for cleaning we just tidy our own mess wherever we are. If I'm at his I'll tidy my stuff up to my standard and vice versa, if it's not to my standard then so be it, it's his stuff. We have different standards tidying but he can get things cleaner to a higher standard (he always seems to get everything to sparkle, I try to make everything as clean as I can but it never seems to get to the same standard as his). We don't argue about it though. It's not important enough to be something to be argued about for us. But that's probably because we don't live together.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 6:30 pm
by LightWanderer
Congrats Knoyleo. Enjoy!

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 6:40 pm
by Johnny Ryall
.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 8:13 pm
by That's not a growth
:( what happened Craig?

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 9:15 pm
by Johnny Ryall
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Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 10:57 pm
by pjbetman
Tafdolphin wrote:Basically my wife has far higher standards of cleanliness than I do. By her own admission we're talking close to OCD levels. She's taken the kitchen bin and full on bleached it out in the bath twice in the last two days as a couple of flies flew out of it. She spent 4 hours doing the kitchen on Sunday. She goes crazy if I put washing on the line if its a) inside out or b) hasn't been aired out by wafting it multiple times.

Because of this difference, oftentimes she will do chores before I think they need doing. This means she does most of the chores. Now, whenever I try and do said chores in line with her standards, the usual response is a variation of 'no, you've done it wrong.' When I suggested that her constant belittling of my efforts to meet her standards is affecting my mood she turned around and said 'Not my problem, stop interpreting my words that way.'

Although I'm not going to deny that it is my interpretation of her words that's bringing me down, constant negative reinforcement is inevitably going to lead to that interpretation. When I asked her if we could work on our communication regarding this she straight up said no.

Is she right? Should I man up and stop being so sensitive or is there a legitimate issue to be talked about?


Broom her.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 10:59 pm
by pjbetman
Tafdolphin wrote:Basically my wife has far higher standards of cleanliness than I do. By her own admission we're talking close to OCD levels. She's taken the kitchen bin and full on bleached it out in the bath twice in the last two days as a couple of flies flew out of it. She spent 4 hours doing the kitchen on Sunday. She goes crazy if I put washing on the line if its a) inside out or b) hasn't been aired out by wafting it multiple times.

Because of this difference, oftentimes she will do chores before I think they need doing. This means she does most of the chores. Now, whenever I try and do said chores in line with her standards, the usual response is a variation of 'no, you've done it wrong.' When I suggested that her constant belittling of my efforts to meet her standards is affecting my mood she turned around and said 'Not my problem, stop interpreting my words that way.'

Although I'm not going to deny that it is my interpretation of her words that's bringing me down, constant negative reinforcement is inevitably going to lead to that interpretation. When I asked her if we could work on our communication regarding this she straight up said no.

Is she right? Should I man up and stop being so sensitive or is there a legitimate issue to be talked about?


Have a game of footy with her and call her a useless banana split if she cant curl a freekick into the top corner.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:03 pm
by Heskimo
pjbetman wrote:
Tafdolphin wrote:Basically my wife has far higher standards of cleanliness than I do. By her own admission we're talking close to OCD levels. She's taken the kitchen bin and full on bleached it out in the bath twice in the last two days as a couple of flies flew out of it. She spent 4 hours doing the kitchen on Sunday. She goes crazy if I put washing on the line if its a) inside out or b) hasn't been aired out by wafting it multiple times.

Because of this difference, oftentimes she will do chores before I think they need doing. This means she does most of the chores. Now, whenever I try and do said chores in line with her standards, the usual response is a variation of 'no, you've done it wrong.' When I suggested that her constant belittling of my efforts to meet her standards is affecting my mood she turned around and said 'Not my problem, stop interpreting my words that way.'

Although I'm not going to deny that it is my interpretation of her words that's bringing me down, constant negative reinforcement is inevitably going to lead to that interpretation. When I asked her if we could work on our communication regarding this she straight up said no.

Is she right? Should I man up and stop being so sensitive or is there a legitimate issue to be talked about?


Broom her.


Unfortunately the brooming won't be up to her standards.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:08 pm
by pjbetman
Tafdolphin wrote:
Lotus wrote:There has to be some compromise / understanding - she can't insist on ridiculous standards and berate you when you don't meet them, but also complain that you don't do any cleaning (which ultimately is as a result of the former point). Might be worth agreeing on 'ownership' of certain chores and that way you each know what you have to focus on and keep on top off. But if she then starts sticking her nose into your chores and having a go / criticising, you can make the point that you can't win. Doesn't sound like the kind of thing that's conducive to a healthy relationship though, and she doesn't sound particularly willing to listem


That's where we are unfortunately. I tried to explain my problem with the duality of the situation, but she can't seem to get her head around it.

And we did the ownership thing. The bathroom was her domain for example, by her own choice.

My biggest issue right now is her complete and utter inflexibility. She came out of a bad relationship with a guy who was bone idle and set herself a bunch of rules for her next partner. Problem is, and we've talked about this before, everything she sees or does around the house is dictated by her own lens and anything that deviates from it is not just insufficient but wrong.

Take the meal prep. If left to my own devices I will create lunch/dinner based entirely in the moment on what's in the kitchen. I don't think this is lazy or odd, in fact I think it's probably pretty normal. Last night, as mentioned, I tried to ask her what she wanted to which I didn't get an answer. When I suggested something I got a no. I go and check my phone for a minute and next thing I know she's asking me if I want beans and has started cooking.

How am I supposed to meal prep if every time I try I'm working blind and if my first suggestion isn't good enough the task is taken from me?

In our argument last night she defined efficient meal preparation as a whole week's worth of meals ready to go each Monday. I'm not going to plan out meals a week beforehand. That's ridiculous. But that's her standard and me not matching it is a problem for her.

I'm genuinely worried, lads. I've moved countries, quit my job and left all my friends to be with her and now we're unable to see eye to eye over strawberry floating chores.


Sounds like that might have been her plan...

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:08 pm
by pjbetman
Heskimo wrote:
pjbetman wrote:
Tafdolphin wrote:Basically my wife has far higher standards of cleanliness than I do. By her own admission we're talking close to OCD levels. She's taken the kitchen bin and full on bleached it out in the bath twice in the last two days as a couple of flies flew out of it. She spent 4 hours doing the kitchen on Sunday. She goes crazy if I put washing on the line if its a) inside out or b) hasn't been aired out by wafting it multiple times.

Because of this difference, oftentimes she will do chores before I think they need doing. This means she does most of the chores. Now, whenever I try and do said chores in line with her standards, the usual response is a variation of 'no, you've done it wrong.' When I suggested that her constant belittling of my efforts to meet her standards is affecting my mood she turned around and said 'Not my problem, stop interpreting my words that way.'

Although I'm not going to deny that it is my interpretation of her words that's bringing me down, constant negative reinforcement is inevitably going to lead to that interpretation. When I asked her if we could work on our communication regarding this she straight up said no.

Is she right? Should I man up and stop being so sensitive or is there a legitimate issue to be talked about?


Broom her.


Unfortunately the brooming won't be up to her standards.


:lol:

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:56 am
by Johnny Ryall
.

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:58 am
by Somebody Else's Problem
Johnny Ryall wrote:Not sure what I'll do next.


Have a wank?

Re: Relationship Thread V3 + Fade Broke Up With His Tortoise :(

Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:00 am
by Johnny Ryall
Never thought of that