so on top of the ex trying to destroy my life down every possible avenue Ive been seeing some chick in a couple as part of a cuckold thing they are into, I get to strawberry float her and he deals with all the life stuff
well she told me last night that shes in love with me, also told me that the morning after pill she took is apparently not reliable depending where you are in your cycle so thats super dope
Ive been seeing another really sweet normal girl, shes not in any way perverted so Im concerned for the long term viability of it all but shes super nice - anyway, she told me today she wants to pay to take me to amsterdam for a weekend break just before new year. I think its really sweet and kind of her but not sure about a. accepting such a gift and b. going to amsterdam for a weekend with someone who doesnt really know me that well
gooseberry fools going well with me and the new gf, worked through the earlier issues so it's all pretty sweet. Although we both suffer from heavy depressive episodes at times which don't really complement each other well.
Long story short me and my dad don’t get on very well, he’s got a very long history of manipulation against my mum and had multiple affairs over the space of about ten years that ultimately led to the end of their marriage.
Within the last year or so I’ve very tentatively gone to the pub with him a few times, for football games etc. This has been spurred on a bit by my wife, who has arranged a night tonight, for the UCL matches and Swansea vs. Blackburn at our local pub, in my hometown.
My dad’s new partner is a bit...obsessive? In May and June she started pushing me and my brother very hard to meet her and her kids, to spend time “as a family” before our respective weddings. We both declined, politely at first and then more forcefully when she pushed the issue, citing our already fractured relationship. Speaking with my aunt, it seems like she has a history of attention seeking behaviour.
By the sounds of it, she’s demanded that she be allowed to come to the pub tonight. She simply doesn’t understand why I’m not interested in being her friend. My wife’s had to drop out of the meeting as she had a bad Tourette’s attack last night(painful twitching down one side of her body).
Now to be fair on my dad, he’s said that he’s not gonna push the issue of her attending if I genuinely don’t want it. It’s manipulative that he even mentioned it in the first place and I can see through it, but he’s covering his own arse and I can understand that.
On many levels I feel bad that I’m intentionally excluding someone who desperately wants to be involved. But also, I don’t feel that I’m wrong, given the history and the reports I hear, to be extremely wary of both him and her.
Tl;dr am I the arsehole for not wanting to build a relationship with my dad’s new partner?
You never have to be friends with someone you don't want to be. Don't get sucked in to that kind of drama - her demands won't stop with going to the pub with you. Life is too short to deal with that kind of narcissism.
Long story short me and my dad don’t get on very well, he’s got a very long history of manipulation against my mum and had multiple affairs over the space of about ten years that ultimately led to the end of their marriage.
Within the last year or so I’ve very tentatively gone to the pub with him a few times, for football games etc. This has been spurred on a bit by my wife, who has arranged a night tonight, for the UCL matches and Swansea vs. Blackburn at our local pub, in my hometown.
My dad’s new partner is a bit...obsessive? In May and June she started pushing me and my brother very hard to meet her and her kids, to spend time “as a family” before our respective weddings. We both declined, politely at first and then more forcefully when she pushed the issue, citing our already fractured relationship. Speaking with my aunt, it seems like she has a history of attention seeking behaviour.
By the sounds of it, she’s demanded that she be allowed to come to the pub tonight. She simply doesn’t understand why I’m not interested in being her friend. My wife’s had to drop out of the meeting as she had a bad Tourette’s attack last night(painful twitching down one side of her body).
Now to be fair on my dad, he’s said that he’s not gonna push the issue of her attending if I genuinely don’t want it. It’s manipulative that he even mentioned it in the first place and I can see through it, but he’s covering his own arse and I can understand that.
On many levels I feel bad that I’m intentionally excluding someone who desperately wants to be involved. But also, I don’t feel that I’m wrong, given the history and the reports I hear, to be extremely wary of both him and her.
Tl;dr am I the arsehole for not wanting to build a relationship with my dad’s new partner?
After listening to the gooseberry fool your Dad has pulled over many platforms since, ooh, 2005? I'm gonna say no. You barely have a relationship with him, let alone his latest bit.
Don't entertain her demands in the slightest and think nothing of it. If she gets sore feelings and cannot understand why, that's just hard luck.
Of course it's your choice who you want to spend time with and be friends with. You have no obligation otherwise, and they have no right to expect a relationship or be upset about you not wanting one.
You don't work together, you're not neighbours, you don't run into each in every day life - so there's no argument to be made to try and force a relationship (and even then it's only a matter of being civil where necessary). Stay fast to the boundaries you feel most comfortable with and don't let them pressure you otherwise. Absolutely nothing on you.
Long story short me and my dad don’t get on very well, he’s got a very long history of manipulation against my mum and had multiple affairs over the space of about ten years that ultimately led to the end of their marriage.
Within the last year or so I’ve very tentatively gone to the pub with him a few times, for football games etc. This has been spurred on a bit by my wife, who has arranged a night tonight, for the UCL matches and Swansea vs. Blackburn at our local pub, in my hometown.
My dad’s new partner is a bit...obsessive? In May and June she started pushing me and my brother very hard to meet her and her kids, to spend time “as a family” before our respective weddings. We both declined, politely at first and then more forcefully when she pushed the issue, citing our already fractured relationship. Speaking with my aunt, it seems like she has a history of attention seeking behaviour.
By the sounds of it, she’s demanded that she be allowed to come to the pub tonight. She simply doesn’t understand why I’m not interested in being her friend. My wife’s had to drop out of the meeting as she had a bad Tourette’s attack last night(painful twitching down one side of her body).
Now to be fair on my dad, he’s said that he’s not gonna push the issue of her attending if I genuinely don’t want it. It’s manipulative that he even mentioned it in the first place and I can see through it, but he’s covering his own arse and I can understand that.
On many levels I feel bad that I’m intentionally excluding someone who desperately wants to be involved. But also, I don’t feel that I’m wrong, given the history and the reports I hear, to be extremely wary of both him and her.
Tl;dr am I the arsehole for not wanting to build a relationship with my dad’s new partner?
I have first hand experience of very similar (nay identical) situations re: inviting parents partners to weddings. Feel free to drop a PM if you want to chat about the BS process that is making your Dad angry and not giving in.
Long story short me and my dad don’t get on very well, he’s got a very long history of manipulation against my mum and had multiple affairs over the space of about ten years that ultimately led to the end of their marriage.
Within the last year or so I’ve very tentatively gone to the pub with him a few times, for football games etc. This has been spurred on a bit by my wife, who has arranged a night tonight, for the UCL matches and Swansea vs. Blackburn at our local pub, in my hometown.
My dad’s new partner is a bit...obsessive? In May and June she started pushing me and my brother very hard to meet her and her kids, to spend time “as a family” before our respective weddings. We both declined, politely at first and then more forcefully when she pushed the issue, citing our already fractured relationship. Speaking with my aunt, it seems like she has a history of attention seeking behaviour.
By the sounds of it, she’s demanded that she be allowed to come to the pub tonight. She simply doesn’t understand why I’m not interested in being her friend. My wife’s had to drop out of the meeting as she had a bad Tourette’s attack last night(painful twitching down one side of her body).
Now to be fair on my dad, he’s said that he’s not gonna push the issue of her attending if I genuinely don’t want it. It’s manipulative that he even mentioned it in the first place and I can see through it, but he’s covering his own arse and I can understand that.
On many levels I feel bad that I’m intentionally excluding someone who desperately wants to be involved. But also, I don’t feel that I’m wrong, given the history and the reports I hear, to be extremely wary of both him and her.
Tl;dr am I the arsehole for not wanting to build a relationship with my dad’s new partner?
You already suffer enough being friends with me. You're a good person, to a fault frankly. You are more than within your remit to put your foot down on this issue. If there is any chance of a healthy relationship between yourself, your Dad and his new partner, it needs to happen naturally and when you're comfortable enough for it to happen. And to be honest, if it goes through now it will almost certainly be a shitshow, I mean I was there for your wedding and witnessed your Dad motioning towards being a prick. Don't let others dictate what you should do when you've had to undeservedly deal with the fallout of past decisions.
Long story short me and my dad don’t get on very well, he’s got a very long history of manipulation against my mum and had multiple affairs over the space of about ten years that ultimately led to the end of their marriage.
Within the last year or so I’ve very tentatively gone to the pub with him a few times, for football games etc. This has been spurred on a bit by my wife, who has arranged a night tonight, for the UCL matches and Swansea vs. Blackburn at our local pub, in my hometown.
My dad’s new partner is a bit...obsessive? In May and June she started pushing me and my brother very hard to meet her and her kids, to spend time “as a family” before our respective weddings. We both declined, politely at first and then more forcefully when she pushed the issue, citing our already fractured relationship. Speaking with my aunt, it seems like she has a history of attention seeking behaviour.
By the sounds of it, she’s demanded that she be allowed to come to the pub tonight. She simply doesn’t understand why I’m not interested in being her friend. My wife’s had to drop out of the meeting as she had a bad Tourette’s attack last night(painful twitching down one side of her body).
Now to be fair on my dad, he’s said that he’s not gonna push the issue of her attending if I genuinely don’t want it. It’s manipulative that he even mentioned it in the first place and I can see through it, but he’s covering his own arse and I can understand that.
On many levels I feel bad that I’m intentionally excluding someone who desperately wants to be involved. But also, I don’t feel that I’m wrong, given the history and the reports I hear, to be extremely wary of both him and her.
Tl;dr am I the arsehole for not wanting to build a relationship with my dad’s new partner?
It’s fine that she wants to have contact with you and that she’d like to be one big happy family.
But she has zero right to demand it. It’s your life and it’s up to you if you want to keep your dad and his partner at arms length.
If she keeps pushing it, then she’s being the twat.
Gemini73 wrote:So in the end the wife and I are to separate, but it's all good. In fact our relationship between us is better than ever having both decided to move forward and we're both far happier.
Best of our children have been great. I dreaded telling them but they were very grown up about it and have also been far happier little souls understanding that nothing is to really change other than me having my own place. They're actually quite excited to have a place where they can get more dad time. I'm very proud of them both.
I move into a small, but cosy one bed flat Monday 6th Jan. That said as the wife is more than financial secure and as things are very amicable between us we're already in talks with our mortgage advisor tin regards to remortgage the house in her name whereupon I'll receive a very healthy lump-sum so as I can put a deposit down for a more permanent, marginally bigger place at a later date. It's agreed the children's wellbeing and comfort are paramount and me having my own home is a part of that.
And that's that.
Sorry to hear that Gem but at least you are both happier and amicable about it.
Sounds like you’ve reached the best decision for you to both move forward and are being very mature and fair about it. The best outcome possible from a bad situation by the sounds for it.
