Relationship Thread V4

[False]

I don’t know if this should go in the sad boi thread or this one but whatever

I realise this is an extremely first world / privileged problem to have but I dunno

The last few months I’ve gone very very hard on the antics and as the daily mail would say ‘have courted various romances’ but I’ve nipped that all in the bud now

I’ve met a really nice girl who a like a lot and I’ve deleted all of my apps and numbers and finished things with all the other people

The problem is that over the last few months I’ve really come to understand that the chase is where the fun is for me in the random encounters, the sexy ‘prize’ at the end I couldn’t care less about

I wouldn’t say I’m asexual or anything, that would be insane coming from me, but actual sex I just don’t enjoy anymore if I ever did and I’m really not getting any pleasure from it

Now back to this girl, she’s pretty, cool, we spend all our time laughing and having a solid vibe - she likes to strawberry float, as is her wont to do - at first this was a huge bonus but as I’ve come on I find myself just dreading the prospect

Not that she’s bad or unattractive or anything, I just don’t wanna strawberry float - when I do I’m just elsewhere in my head, not giving a gooseberry fool

Don’t really know what the solution is outside of saying hey babe I don’t wanna strawberry float and then watching her walk out the door whilst I regrown my virginity

[Rocsteady]

I don’t know if this should go in the sad boi thread or this one but whatever

I realise this is an extremely first world / privileged problem to have but I dunno

The last few months I’ve gone very very hard on the antics and as the daily mail would say ‘have courted various romances’ but I’ve nipped that all in the bud now

I’ve met a really nice girl who a like a lot and I’ve deleted all of my apps and numbers and finished things with all the other people

The problem is that over the last few months I’ve really come to understand that the chase is where the fun is for me in the random encounters, the sexy ‘prize’ at the end I couldn’t care less about

I wouldn’t say I’m asexual or anything, that would be insane coming from me, but actual sex I just don’t enjoy anymore if I ever did and I’m really not getting any pleasure from it

Now back to this girl, she’s pretty, cool, we spend all our time laughing and having a solid vibe - she likes to strawberry float, as is her wont to do - at first this was a huge bonus but as I’ve come on I find myself just dreading the prospect

Not that she’s bad or unattractive or anything, I just don’t wanna strawberry float - when I do I’m just elsewhere in my head, not giving a gooseberry fool

Don’t really know what the solution is outside of saying hey babe I don’t wanna strawberry float and then watching her walk out the door whilst I regrown my virginity

I think we're reasonably similar in this area (although me to quite a lesser extent probably), and I've had the same before.

Do you spend time with her like just hanging out and doing other gooseberry fool? If so, as in it's more like a proper relationship potential than just banging, I'd suggest you just tell her how you feel. I highly doubt she'd walk away because she can't get laid for a little while, or a little less frequently.

I'd suggest it's better you put it out there than either grow resentful from having to have sex or completely fobbing her off.

[Christopher]

Like Rocsteady has said it’s probably best to be honest with her. If she likes you she’ll understand.

Since being on meds for depression I’ve got the sex drive of a rock. Prior to the meds I was horny 90% of the time, but now I really can’t be bothered.

[Pedz]

Meds can really strawberry float up your sex drive. One load of medication I was on I didn't have sex for a year with the missus as I had literally no interest at all. Changed the meds and that changed. Though I haven't taken my meds in a little while (it's rather stupid but I forget, I swear meds has completely strawberry floated my memory) and I want sex all the time. Like right now.

[False]

I think the meds are one part - the ones I was on before now I literally went 2 months without even considering a nut which is an all time high score - these newer ones arent 'so bad' in that respect but I agree its probably a contributory factor

I just dont think Im at all in the headspace for it, something most people would be excited by I suppose?, I just have no interest at all anymore

I went to see that girl last night as she has just moved into a new place and is having trouble with the electric and stuff so I went and fixed all of that and then fixed the washing machine and plumbing stuff etc this morning to earn all the good boy points - no idea when / if Ill be able to approach this subject though

shes a really nice and wouldnt make a problem out of it I think, but Id just have that niggling feeling Id be letting her down almost

and rocsteady, yeah we spend the majority of our time just hanging out and doing stuff, which I really like - shes a nice person to spend time with

[Moggy]

I think the meds are one part - the ones I was on before now I literally went 2 months without even considering a nut which is an all time high score - these newer ones arent 'so bad' in that respect but I agree its probably a contributory factor

I just dont think Im at all in the headspace for it, something most people would be excited by I suppose?, I just have no interest at all anymore

I went to see that girl last night as she has just moved into a new place and is having trouble with the electric and stuff so I went and fixed all of that and then fixed the washing machine and plumbing stuff etc this morning to earn all the good boy points - no idea when / if Ill be able to approach this subject though

shes a really nice and wouldnt make a problem out of it I think, but Id just have that niggling feeling Id be letting her down almost

and rocsteady, yeah we spend the majority of our time just hanging out and doing stuff, which I really like - shes a nice person to spend time with

It’s a difficult one. If you had been in a relationship with her for 20 years then it’s probably easier to say you’re less interested in sex than you used to be. At the very start of a relationship though? If she enjoys sex then it’s hard to see that she is going to be happy getting into a relationship where sex is off the menu or at least massively reduced from what she wants/expects.

It’s best to be honest with her though.

[Rocsteady]

I honestly think she'll be fine with it as long as you word it as a potentially temporary situation while you work out other issues. It's not like, presumably, you'll never want to have sex with her again.

Again I had fairly similar in here recently when I was complaining about the sex in a new relationship with someone who has severe depression at times and meets the criteria for anorgasmia, I continued after discussing it through with her and it's probably the best relationship I've had at this point.

[Garth]

Just back from South America - that was the biggest confidence booster ever. Wow. Insanely gorgeous women, effortless dating. I need to go back

[Christopher]

Well I think that is that

Our last session is tomorrow night and our babysitter has cancelled to which she said “go on your own and use it to get some counselling, I’m getting nothing from these sessions”.

Feel absolutely strawberry floating broken.

[Prototype]

Sorry to hear it Suzz.

Look after yourself and if you want a chat etc, you know where to find me.

[False]

sorry bro

be well

[Christopher]

Thanks guys.

Might have to start a go fund me to get a deposit to rent somewhere as she just spent the last £2k in savings on a new car.

[False]

listen mate, whilst not married I found myself in the same unenviable position since last year and its hard as strawberry float

if you ever wanna chat, me, and Im sure the entirety of this place have a lot of time for you

[jawa4]

Well I think that is that ...

suzz, man, I'm sorry to hear this. I hope that you soon have some change that enables a happier way forward.

[Christopher]

listen mate, whilst not married I found myself in the same unenviable position since last year and its hard as strawberry float

if you ever wanna chat, me, and Im sure the entirety of this place have a lot of time for you

Thanks mate.

[Christopher]

Well I think that is that ...

suzz, man, I'm sorry to hear this. I hope that you soon have some change that enables a happier way forward.

Thanks mate

[Moggy]

gooseberry fool, so sorry to hear that Suzz.

[Christopher]

gooseberry fool, so sorry to hear that Suzz.

Thanks man.

Currently have Radiohead High and Dry on repeat with a bottle of scotch.

Just realised I'll have to change my username.

[False]

why?

[Christopher]

why?

It's a combination of our names. Suzzy and Christopher.