Should I stay or should I go?

PostRe: Should I stay or should I go? by **Moggy** » Thu Nov 07, 2019 11:23 am

DarkRula wrote:Great to see that you're trying something new, LW. Sounds like the new place might be better for you, especially if it's in a less isolated place than the farm.

6 weeks later

So this Buddhist guy has said that to achieve zen I need to live in his basement and pay him all of my money....

PostRe: Should I stay or should I go? by **Kezzer** » Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:15 pm

Rocsteady wrote:Where are you in the world?

Netherlands I think

Kezzer wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:Where are you in the world?

Netherlands I think

If he moves to Sweden at any point I think this is his natural next step....

As someone else with ASD I'm inclined to say going by your posts and the quality of your writing that you are a pretty insightful person who is well read but inclined to hoover up information that makes itself present to you or that is delivered to you in such a way that it is very convincing, regardless of whether it is true. However this is conflicting with your logical reasoning, able to identify contrasts and conflicts in the dogmas of two different faiths. Your relative difficulty managing complex emotions and paying attention to your most basic needs, besides the intellectual, makes it hard to determine whether others are truly caring for you. You are probably also an extremely loyal person who finds it difficult to move from one set of values to the next even when presented with convincing evidence to think differently or some other major challenge to what you believe in in order to change. It's very important therefore that you consider your own vulnerability subtracting the will of others from your own, easily finding yourself in situations where you can and will be exploited.

I think you've done the right thing reaching out for advice and removing yourself from the situation that confused you in order to assess what is best for you through action and evaluating results with a new perspective. This is a very brave thing for you to do, even if it goes against some aspects of what you have been taught to ultimately reduce your autonomy. It is important always to weigh the value of what you gain from a situation against what others gain from placing you in that situation where it seems apparent you were being controlled through a fear and doubt response, which many doctrines and people in a position of power or responsibility exploit regardless of their walk of life. Sometimes even they do not realise they are controlling others through emotional relationships, slowly falling dependent on others. This way they can seem innocuous but the overall situation is unfair. Other times they are extremely manipulative bordering on the sociopathic, using people to make their lives easier.

Given that your voluntary work situation which in the UK would almost certainly not be legal was exploitative and in my opinion disrespected your ability to self-direct and seek, analyse and synthesise information in whatever religious or other text you wish to study (study and determining direction through study is obviously important to you and a strength you should mobilise independently), you should look for a more balanced occupation that doesn't again depend on your loyalty to this path of scholarly activity blended with emotional values and dependency on the church to provide for you. With social benefits you have the ability to choose where you stay within your means even if you are not able to find work, so really your source of livelihood comes from the state and where you choose to invest your emotions and your talent studying is a free choice. So I would look at how else you can mobilise those assets you have without allowing them to be directed at the whim of an individual with more power than you in a way that would most benefit them.

Moggy wrote:
DarkRula wrote:Great to see that you're trying something new, LW. Sounds like the new place might be better for you, especially if it's in a less isolated place than the farm.

6 weeks later

So this Buddhist guy has said that to achieve zen I need to live in his basement and pay him all of my money....

PostRe: Should I stay or should I go? by **Jenuall** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:51 am

I bet LW's orgone levels will be through the strawberry floating roof after 6 weeks.

Quick update (shout out to @Tsunade for worrying about me. You're a really great friend on here)

Been an interesting week and a bit.
Day after I moved to candle guy's house (never did get to take pics of the place but here's his website- http://www.beeswaxcandles.ie/html/About.html hasn't been updated in years:and here's a picture of me, him and a guy I'll tell you about in a bit, let's call him Marley; providing these to prove I'm not lying as awkward as my facial expression is in that pic..).

I'm the one in the middle. We only knew we were going to the mountain on the way back, hence the clothing choice.

The day after the night I moved in with the candle guy we picked up a new volunteer, aforementioned Marley.19 year old Hungarian guy from Budapest. Marley was only going to be staying from that day(Thursday)to the following Monday. Five days. A lot can happen in five days.
Was a really fun five days. They introduced me to their music(think *Woodstock*), we visited the sceneries of Sligo and we spent all night drinking (and Marley/Pete smoked tobacco). Pete makes his own alcohol, very powerful stuff. Even Marley who's well used to alcohol thought it was powerful. We had great nights up in the living room gathered around the fireplace. The last night together (Sunday) was the best: we watched West Side Story. Me and Marley lay on opposite ends of the same couch playing footsie, while Pete was far too out-of-it to realise what was going on.
When Marley left the next day, afterwards Pete seemed to change. He got a lot more aggressive, pushing me to the ground, until finally I decided to pack my things and leave as it was no longer a safe environment. My friend picked me up (travelling 71.5 miles in the dead of night to do so) and I'm now staying at her house with her and her son, until February. The farm lady says I should just move back to hers but you know... I'm not totally braindead.

So overall it was a great week, with one horrific night and an overall great conclusion. I'm sure some of you guys will have a lot to say about how quickly I got captivated by the partyish hippy lifestyle the two guys in the house presented but whatever. For the record, Marley is actually a great guy. His family owns a community back in Hungary that runs summercamps for disabled kids. And we had some very deep, powerful conversations on the couch when it was just the two of us. It was cut short (which was to be expected: he's a drifter, backpacking through Europe and leaves Ireland at the end of this month) but we still keep touch online. It's also sad that Pete turned out to be a bit more agressive than he first seemed (and I'm too ASD that I basically freeze whenever someone's trying to attack me instead of holding my own) but whatever. It is what it is.

Kezzer wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:Where are you in the world?

Netherlands I think

Ireland (Republic) but strangely a lot of my best friends are from the Netherlands (one girl from there moved to Ireland, a lad who was serving a Mormon mission here was engaged - and is now married - to a girl from the Netherlands).

I'm glad you're safe dude. What happens in February? Are you moving onto somewhere else?

Where in Ireland are you?

Tsunade wrote:I'm glad you're safe dude. What happens in February? Are you moving onto somewhere else?

Thanks Tsunade :wub:

Should have more than enough money to rent somewhere long term though I do have plans to travel across Europe n the new year, volunteering at different places which will provide free lodging and an impressive portfolio for my CV

PostRe: Should I stay or should I go? by **Moggy** » Sat Nov 16, 2019 8:39 am

One look at Pete and I thought “definite serial killer” :lol:

I’m glad you had a good week and that nothing too serious happened after Pete turned violent.

In future maybe try and avoid cultish farms and Charles Manson lookalike candle makers?

It's great you had a good first week when the party atmosphere was there. Not so great about what happened after, but hopefully a bit of a break with someone you know will help fully clear your mind for when you go back to volunteering. It's good to see that you should be in a safe environment for now.

And it's probably wrong for me to say it, but rural locations do seem to have a lot of crazy people within them.

Dude, are you sure you're not trapped in a Coen Brothers movie?

Mommy wrote:Where in Ireland are you?

Currently staying at friend's house in Mullingar, Westmeath (about an hour drive outside of Dublin)

Moggy wrote:One look at Pete and I thought “definite serial killer”

I’m glad you had a good week and that nothing too serious happened after Pete turned violent.

In future maybe try and avoid cultish farms and Charles Manson lookalike candle makers?

Yeah looking back now he definitely looks suspect. My Hungarian friend is returning there for a few days next week so hopefully he'll be okay. Pete is a good guy really, he just changes when he's drunk too much.

Yeah I'll try to go places a bit more normal :slol:

DarkRula wrote:It's great you had a good first week when the party atmosphere was there. Not so great about what happened after, but hopefully a bit of a break with someone you know will help fully clear your mind for when you go back to volunteering. It's good to see that you should be in a safe environment for now.

And it's probably wrong for me to say it, but rural locations do seem to have a lot of crazy people within them.

Hey DR! Yeah it was a great party experience, and yes being in a safe place now is a good change of pace.
Maybe rural places attract the crazies because they're so isolated? If it's an isolated place, there's a more likely chance someone has gone there to escape from something or to battle their inner-demons on their own.

Then again, if you buy into this whole "karma" thing and that we attract like-minded people maybe it's time I did some inner-reflection on why exactly I keep finding these kinds of people :shock:

Rex Kramer wrote:Dude, are you sure you're not trapped in a Coen Brothers movie?

Never seen a Coen Brothers movie (at least I don't think I have) but it definitely provides material for if I want to write anything! Any suggestions of good Coen Brothers movies to check out?

LightWanderer wrote:
DarkRula wrote:It's great you had a good first week when the party atmosphere was there. Not so great about what happened after, but hopefully a bit of a break with someone you know will help fully clear your mind for when you go back to volunteering. It's good to see that you should be in a safe environment for now.

And it's probably wrong for me to say it, but rural locations do seem to have a lot of crazy people within them.

Hey DR! Yeah it was a great party experience, and yes being in a safe place now is a good change of pace.
Maybe rural places attract the crazies because they're so isolated? If it's an isolated place, there's a more likely chance someone has gone there to escape from something or to battle their inner-demons on their own.

Then again, if you buy into this whole "karma" thing and that we attract like-minded people maybe it's time I did some inner-reflection on why exactly I keep finding these kinds of people

I'm sure no-one here would say you were crazy, but then it could be any number of things and not just necessarily crazy. After all, karma works in strange ways.

And I feel that's true. They go away from people because they want to avoid something or avoid being helped about something, and then that just becomes their entire being, shaping them to something they weren't before. Though in an every day situation, you probably wouldn't know of it.

PostRe: Should I stay or should I go? by **Moggy** » Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:14 pm

Karma is not real.

Moggy wrote:Karma is not real.

PostRe: Should I stay or should I go? by **Jenuall** » Sat Nov 16, 2019 1:20 pm

If your midichlorian count was higher you would understand karma

PostRe: Should I stay or should I go? by **Rightey** » Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:38 pm

Jenuall wrote:If your midichlorian count was higher you would understand karma

Have you ever heard of the story of Darth Palagius? They say he could communicate directly with his midichlorians and control his karma directly.

Rightey wrote:
Jenuall wrote:If your midichlorian count was higher you would understand karma

Have you ever heard of the story of Darth Palagius? They say he could communicate directly with his midichlorians and control his karma directly.

He could always have good karma, no matter what he did?

Should I stay or should I go?

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