So you've ruined your life...

Tomous wrote:

Knoyleo wrote:

Tomous wrote:Little man is going to start nursery in November when my wife returns to work.

First of all, nursery prices, facking hell!

Second, can anyone explain to me how the childcare tax benefit works? I'm a bit confused by it-do we pay into an account and the Gov top it up by 20% and the nursery is paid from that account? Thanks

Yep, eye watering. Luckily, my wife's a teacher and we've found a nursery that will offer term time only places, so that helps, but it's still like having a second mortgage.

Thanks for mentioning the childcare tax benefit, wasn't even aware of that, so will be sure to get that sorted when he starts going.

That'll be a huge saving, we're having to pay 51 weeks

How's your son doing now mate?

He's doing really well now, thanks! Had a good few weeks now without any return visits to hospital or anything like that, and he's really putting weight on at a good pace now, having been pretty underweight before.

I realise I haven't actually updated on here since April, and there's been a few developments since. The initial extractive surgery to remove the cyst from his chest went really well, but he was discharged with a prescription for some blood thinning medication to deal with a clot from the op, eventually wound up being a 12 week course of this medicine 3 times a day Very glad that's over now. He then had a return to hospital a few weeks later with some breathing difficulty again, but they think that was just a viral infection causing some swelling, combined with some minor damage to his throat from all the intubation etc. he'd gone through previously. So then he got booked in for some follow up procedure involving putting a camera down his throat to look at that a few weeks later again. Then, out of the blue while we were on holiday in June, we got a call from the hospital to say they'd finally got results of a biopsy on what was removed from his chest in April, and it turns out it wasn't a cyst at all, but a benign tumour. A non cancerous thymoma, and given that the consultant is a thoracic specialist in the Children's hospital, he's apparently never heard of a case of that in a child that young. So, as it was now a tumour, not a cyst, they decided to bring him in again to remove the lump that was still in his neck, but not obstructing airways. That procedure went OK, (some minor complications, they found more of it sat behind his lymph gland and took longer to remove it, my wife was in the waiting room and overheard the anaesthetist tell the parent of a child who was due to go for an op that the previous one was overrunning due to complications and nearly had a heart attack,) and he's got a scar running along the front of his neck now like he's Christopher Walken in Seven Psychopaths. Then he got discharged with a prescription for Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. It turns out Ibuprofen can cause hypersensitivity, so he hadn't been discharged more than 24 hours before I was back in A&E with him, because he'd gone all red, come up in hives, and his face had started to swell up when he rubbed it. Sat in A&E for 9 hours, then got sent home at 2am with some Piriton for him, and told to avoid Ibuprofen in future.

That was exhausting to type out. He's only 6 months, but it feels like he got here a lifetime ago.

Think that last bit was about a month ago now, so the four/five weeks since with no scares has just been bliss. We've started weaning him over the last week and a bit, and so far, all he'll eat of what he's been given is either baby rice, or parsnip, but it's a good start.

Do they not have school nurseries in England and Wales? Haven't paid a penny for my daughter's 2 years at nursery here in Edinburgh

Knoyleo wrote:

Tomous wrote:

Knoyleo wrote:

Tomous wrote:Little man is going to start nursery in November when my wife returns to work.

First of all, nursery prices, facking hell!

Second, can anyone explain to me how the childcare tax benefit works? I'm a bit confused by it-do we pay into an account and the Gov top it up by 20% and the nursery is paid from that account? Thanks

Yep, eye watering. Luckily, my wife's a teacher and we've found a nursery that will offer term time only places, so that helps, but it's still like having a second mortgage.

Thanks for mentioning the childcare tax benefit, wasn't even aware of that, so will be sure to get that sorted when he starts going.

That'll be a huge saving, we're having to pay 51 weeks

How's your son doing now mate?

He's doing really well now, thanks! Had a good few weeks now without any return visits to hospital or anything like that, and he's really putting weight on at a good pace now, having been pretty underweight before.

I realise I haven't actually updated on here since April, and there's been a few developments since. The initial extractive surgery to remove the cyst from his chest went really well, but he was discharged with a prescription for some blood thinning medication to deal with a clot from the op, eventually wound up being a 12 week course of this medicine 3 times a day Very glad that's over now. He then had a return to hospital a few weeks later with some breathing difficulty again, but they think that was just a viral infection causing some swelling, combined with some minor damage to his throat from all the intubation etc. he'd gone through previously. So then he got booked in for some follow up procedure involving putting a camera down his throat to look at that a few weeks later again. Then, out of the blue while we were on holiday in June, we got a call from the hospital to say they'd finally got results of a biopsy on what was removed from his chest in April, and it turns out it wasn't a cyst at all, but a benign tumour. A non cancerous thymoma, and given that the consultant is a thoracic specialist in the Children's hospital, he's apparently never heard of a case of that in a child that young. So, as it was now a tumour, not a cyst, they decided to bring him in again to remove the lump that was still in his neck, but not obstructing airways. That procedure went OK, (some minor complications, they found more of it sat behind his lymph gland and took longer to remove it, my wife was in the waiting room and overheard the anaesthetist tell the parent of a child who was due to go for an op that the previous one was overrunning due to complications and nearly had a heart attack,) and he's got a scar running along the front of his neck now like he's Christopher Walken in Seven Psychopaths. Then he got discharged with a prescription for Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. It turns out Ibuprofen can cause hypersensitivity, so he hadn't been discharged more than 24 hours before I was back in A&E with him, because he'd gone all red, come up in hives, and his face had started to swell up when he rubbed it. Sat in A&E for 9 hours, then got sent home at 2am with some Piriton for him, and told to avoid Ibuprofen in future.

That was exhausting to type out. He's only 6 months, but it feels like he got here a lifetime ago.

Think that last bit was about a month ago now, so the four/five weeks since with no scares has just been bliss. We've started weaning him over the last week and a bit, and so far, all he'll eat of what he's been given is either baby rice, or parsnip, but it's a good start.

Guess I jinxed this. We got called into an outpatients appointment on Wednesday, where they told us the biopsy on what they removed from his neck at the start of July showed presence of Thyroid cells within the Thymoma, meaning there's evidence that the tumour has been behaving in an invasive way, rather than totally benign. They now want to take him in for a partial thyroidectomy, to remove the part of the thyroid gland in the left side of his neck, and can then confirm whether any of the thymoma has made it's way into the thyroid or not. They're still hopeful that what they removed before was the whole thing, but they need to do this to rule out that it has spread. That won't happen until the start of September, and then it's presumably several more weeks wait for the biopsy result again until we get answers, so likely well into October before we can know for sure either way.

Knoyleo wrote:

Knoyleo wrote:

Tomous wrote:

Knoyleo wrote:

Tomous wrote:Little man is going to start nursery in November when my wife returns to work.

First of all, nursery prices, facking hell!

Second, can anyone explain to me how the childcare tax benefit works? I'm a bit confused by it-do we pay into an account and the Gov top it up by 20% and the nursery is paid from that account? Thanks

Yep, eye watering. Luckily, my wife's a teacher and we've found a nursery that will offer term time only places, so that helps, but it's still like having a second mortgage.

Thanks for mentioning the childcare tax benefit, wasn't even aware of that, so will be sure to get that sorted when he starts going.

That'll be a huge saving, we're having to pay 51 weeks

How's your son doing now mate?

He's doing really well now, thanks! Had a good few weeks now without any return visits to hospital or anything like that, and he's really putting weight on at a good pace now, having been pretty underweight before.

I realise I haven't actually updated on here since April, and there's been a few developments since. The initial extractive surgery to remove the cyst from his chest went really well, but he was discharged with a prescription for some blood thinning medication to deal with a clot from the op, eventually wound up being a 12 week course of this medicine 3 times a day Very glad that's over now. He then had a return to hospital a few weeks later with some breathing difficulty again, but they think that was just a viral infection causing some swelling, combined with some minor damage to his throat from all the intubation etc. he'd gone through previously. So then he got booked in for some follow up procedure involving putting a camera down his throat to look at that a few weeks later again. Then, out of the blue while we were on holiday in June, we got a call from the hospital to say they'd finally got results of a biopsy on what was removed from his chest in April, and it turns out it wasn't a cyst at all, but a benign tumour. A non cancerous thymoma, and given that the consultant is a thoracic specialist in the Children's hospital, he's apparently never heard of a case of that in a child that young. So, as it was now a tumour, not a cyst, they decided to bring him in again to remove the lump that was still in his neck, but not obstructing airways. That procedure went OK, (some minor complications, they found more of it sat behind his lymph gland and took longer to remove it, my wife was in the waiting room and overheard the anaesthetist tell the parent of a child who was due to go for an op that the previous one was overrunning due to complications and nearly had a heart attack,) and he's got a scar running along the front of his neck now like he's Christopher Walken in Seven Psychopaths. Then he got discharged with a prescription for Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. It turns out Ibuprofen can cause hypersensitivity, so he hadn't been discharged more than 24 hours before I was back in A&E with him, because he'd gone all red, come up in hives, and his face had started to swell up when he rubbed it. Sat in A&E for 9 hours, then got sent home at 2am with some Piriton for him, and told to avoid Ibuprofen in future.

That was exhausting to type out. He's only 6 months, but it feels like he got here a lifetime ago.

Think that last bit was about a month ago now, so the four/five weeks since with no scares has just been bliss. We've started weaning him over the last week and a bit, and so far, all he'll eat of what he's been given is either baby rice, or parsnip, but it's a good start.

Guess I jinxed this. We got called into an outpatients appointment on Wednesday, where they told us the biopsy on what they removed from his neck at the start of July showed presence of Thyroid cells within the Thymoma, meaning there's evidence that the tumour has been behaving in an invasive way, rather than totally benign. They now want to take him in for a partial thyroidectomy, to remove the part of the thyroid gland in the left side of his neck, and can then confirm whether any of the thymoma has made it's way into the thyroid or not. They're still hopeful that what they removed before was the whole thing, but they need to do this to rule out that it has spread. That won't happen until the start of September, and then it's presumably several more weeks wait for the biopsy result again until we get answers, so likely well into October before we can know for sure either way.

Good god, man. Hope this is the home stretch now, because it sounds like you've all been through the wringer.

Best wishes Knoy, got everything crossed for you and the little one.

Knoyleo wrote:

Knoyleo wrote:

Tomous wrote:

Knoyleo wrote:

Tomous wrote:Little man is going to start nursery in November when my wife returns to work.

First of all, nursery prices, facking hell!

Second, can anyone explain to me how the childcare tax benefit works? I'm a bit confused by it-do we pay into an account and the Gov top it up by 20% and the nursery is paid from that account? Thanks

Yep, eye watering. Luckily, my wife's a teacher and we've found a nursery that will offer term time only places, so that helps, but it's still like having a second mortgage.

Thanks for mentioning the childcare tax benefit, wasn't even aware of that, so will be sure to get that sorted when he starts going.

That'll be a huge saving, we're having to pay 51 weeks

How's your son doing now mate?

He's doing really well now, thanks! Had a good few weeks now without any return visits to hospital or anything like that, and he's really putting weight on at a good pace now, having been pretty underweight before.

I realise I haven't actually updated on here since April, and there's been a few developments since. The initial extractive surgery to remove the cyst from his chest went really well, but he was discharged with a prescription for some blood thinning medication to deal with a clot from the op, eventually wound up being a 12 week course of this medicine 3 times a day Very glad that's over now. He then had a return to hospital a few weeks later with some breathing difficulty again, but they think that was just a viral infection causing some swelling, combined with some minor damage to his throat from all the intubation etc. he'd gone through previously. So then he got booked in for some follow up procedure involving putting a camera down his throat to look at that a few weeks later again. Then, out of the blue while we were on holiday in June, we got a call from the hospital to say they'd finally got results of a biopsy on what was removed from his chest in April, and it turns out it wasn't a cyst at all, but a benign tumour. A non cancerous thymoma, and given that the consultant is a thoracic specialist in the Children's hospital, he's apparently never heard of a case of that in a child that young. So, as it was now a tumour, not a cyst, they decided to bring him in again to remove the lump that was still in his neck, but not obstructing airways. That procedure went OK, (some minor complications, they found more of it sat behind his lymph gland and took longer to remove it, my wife was in the waiting room and overheard the anaesthetist tell the parent of a child who was due to go for an op that the previous one was overrunning due to complications and nearly had a heart attack,) and he's got a scar running along the front of his neck now like he's Christopher Walken in Seven Psychopaths. Then he got discharged with a prescription for Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. It turns out Ibuprofen can cause hypersensitivity, so he hadn't been discharged more than 24 hours before I was back in A&E with him, because he'd gone all red, come up in hives, and his face had started to swell up when he rubbed it. Sat in A&E for 9 hours, then got sent home at 2am with some Piriton for him, and told to avoid Ibuprofen in future.

That was exhausting to type out. He's only 6 months, but it feels like he got here a lifetime ago.

Think that last bit was about a month ago now, so the four/five weeks since with no scares has just been bliss. We've started weaning him over the last week and a bit, and so far, all he'll eat of what he's been given is either baby rice, or parsnip, but it's a good start.

Guess I jinxed this. We got called into an outpatients appointment on Wednesday, where they told us the biopsy on what they removed from his neck at the start of July showed presence of Thyroid cells within the Thymoma, meaning there's evidence that the tumour has been behaving in an invasive way, rather than totally benign. They now want to take him in for a partial thyroidectomy, to remove the part of the thyroid gland in the left side of his neck, and can then confirm whether any of the thymoma has made it's way into the thyroid or not. They're still hopeful that what they removed before was the whole thing, but they need to do this to rule out that it has spread. That won't happen until the start of September, and then it's presumably several more weeks wait for the biopsy result again until we get answers, so likely well into October before we can know for sure either way.

Can't imagine the stress mate, as jiggles says hopefully this is the home stretch for you and your family.

Lots of love Knoyleo xxx

Thanks all. My wife and I are just exhausted, honestly. Really not looking forward to having this hanging over us as we wait for the best part of 2 months.

Fingers crossed it’s the last bit of this absolute nightmare for you guys Knoy. All the best mate.

My thoughts are with you Knoyleo, I can't even imagine the stress you must be under. All my fingers are crossed for you.

In funnier kids news, I just heard my 5 year old say to my wife "Look at your big fat belly! Do some exercise!"

He's in trouble

Moggy wrote:In funnier kids news, I just heard my 5 year old say to my wife "Look at your big fat belly! Do some exercise!"

He's in trouble

Anyone here go to NCT courses in the run up to their first child?

We've completed three sessions (all in-person) totalling 15 hours. We're in the process of arranging an evening at the pub next week and there will be a 'reunion' several weeks after the last birth has been confirmed.

Although we already knew most of it, some of the training has been useful and while the idea of contrived friendship naturally feels a bit cringey, I am conscious how beneficial it could be to have a peer support group.

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Anyone here go to NCT courses in the run up to their first child?

We've completed three sessions (all in-person) totalling 15 hours. We're in the process of arranging an evening at the pub next week and there will be a 'reunion' several weeks after the last birth has been confirmed.

Although we already knew most of it, some of the training has been useful and while the idea of contrived friendship naturally feels a bit cringey, I am conscious how beneficial it could be to have a peer support group.

Ours was over zoom, because of the pandemic which was fine for the actual content which held it back on the support group side. I think the mums have maintained a whatsapp group since for support/advice etc but it didn't happen with the Dads. They all seemed pretty uninterested to me and a few of my best mates are already parents and another of mates had his daughter a month before my son, so I already had in place that side really.

Tomous wrote:

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Anyone here go to NCT courses in the run up to their first child?

We've completed three sessions (all in-person) totalling 15 hours. We're in the process of arranging an evening at the pub next week and there will be a 'reunion' several weeks after the last birth has been confirmed.

Although we already knew most of it, some of the training has been useful and while the idea of contrived friendship naturally feels a bit cringey, I am conscious how beneficial it could be to have a peer support group.

Ours was over zoom, because of the pandemic which was fine for the actual content which held it back on the support group side. I think the mums have maintained a whatsapp group since for support/advice etc but it didn't happen with the Dads. They all seemed pretty uninterested to me and a few of my best mates are already parents and another of mates had his daughter a month before my son, so I already had in place that side really.

Yeah the support network side of it is probably the bit that we got the most out of. It is quite contrived and just shoving a bunch of couples together is obviously going to have varied results in terms of how well they get along, but it was useful to make some connections with other people who were going to be basically at the same stage as you in the process.

Having family or friends who've had kids is probably more helpful and an easier source to draw from, but generally I think anything that adds to your group of people who you can talk to about baby stuff is a good rhing

We're still good friends with a few of the people from our NCT group and that was over 10 years ago now!

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Anyone here go to NCT courses in the run up to their first child?

We've completed three sessions (all in-person) totalling 15 hours. We're in the process of arranging an evening at the pub next week and there will be a 'reunion' several weeks after the last birth has been confirmed.

Although we already knew most of it, some of the training has been useful and while the idea of contrived friendship naturally feels a bit cringey, I am conscious how beneficial it could be to have a peer support group.

We still see all if our NCT group 2 years later. Found it very beneficial.

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Anyone here go to NCT courses in the run up to their first child?

We've completed three sessions (all in-person) totalling 15 hours. We're in the process of arranging an evening at the pub next week and there will be a 'reunion' several weeks after the last birth has been confirmed.

Although we already knew most of it, some of the training has been useful and while the idea of contrived friendship naturally feels a bit cringey, I am conscious how beneficial it could be to have a peer support group.

I found the actual courses to be a bit of a waste of time, probably not helped by all being over Zoom, but the social aspect of being introduced to a load of other couples all going through the same thing and local to you was really useful. We've all stayed in touch so far, the mum's meet regularly during the weeks, and the dads have had a few pub get togethers. Only managed one occasion where we were all together, but think we're planning something for next month. It's an expensive way to makes friends, mind.

______________

Update on my little one, his surgery went well on Monday, they removed the left half of his thyroid, and though he had a pretty uncomfortable afternoon and night, (they still can't have air con on the wards because of covid, it was sweltering,) by the next morning he was his usual self again. It's been about 2 months since his last overnight stay in hospital and he was so much louder than he was before, babbling away and kicking so much he was rocking his bed. It's a children's hospital, but almost all the other patients on the ward looked like teenagers, can't image any of them were impressed.

Got him home yesterday, and he's back to his usual sleep and feed routines already. Can't believe how resilient this little guy can be. His weight's shooting up as well, and he's finally back above the 0.4th percentile line in his red book, and already closing in on 2nd percentile. Great progress all around.

Won't get the biopsy results for 4-6 weeks yet. Just got to try and put it from my mind until then, and enjoy the progress he's making right now.

Great to hear mate! Fingers crossed for the biopsy results but definitely try and put them out your mind as much as you can,

Promising feedback on NCT groups, thanks all! Good friends 10 years on and seeing all of them 2 years on is much more than I expected.

One of the few times we've had chance to talk in-person as dads, the conversation veered towards coronavirus scepticism and how senile Biden is so I'm wary of being at odds politically/socially but I sort of expected that, going into something that appears to be populated entirely by middle class white people...

Good news on your lad, Knoy! Very promising.

Yeah that's great news Knoy, sounds like he's made of strong stuff for bouncing back so quickly!