So you've ruined your life...

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Knoyleo** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 2:44 pm

Tomous wrote:My wife's family are Hindu and took him to their temple on Sunday to celebrate Pongol, and took one of my favourite photos of him:

That's an excellent photo. :lol:

Tomous wrote:We had to do the PCR test for him to return as well, but this was after Calpol hadn't reduced his temperature and he'd been coughing all day so fair enough.

When did he start nursery? The problem is they're picking up bugs all the time especially for the 3 months. I understand the covid concern but to not even try calpol first is abit ridiculous.

He only started full time last week after 2 settling in mornings on the previous week.

His PCR on Monday was inconclusive, so he went for another test yesterday, and that's come back positive, so now he has to stay away for 10 whole days. :simper:

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Tomous** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 2:46 pm

Knoyleo wrote:
Tomous wrote:My wife's family are Hindu and took him to their temple on Sunday to celebrate Pongol, and took one of my favourite photos of him:

That's an excellent photo.

Tomous wrote:We had to do the PCR test for him to return as well, but this was after Calpol hadn't reduced his temperature and he'd been coughing all day so fair enough.

When did he start nursery? The problem is they're picking up bugs all the time especially for the 3 months. I understand the covid concern but to not even try calpol first is abit ridiculous.

He only started full time last week after 2 settling in mornings on the previous week.

His PCR on Monday was inconclusive, so he went for another test yesterday, and that's come back positive, so now he has to stay away for 10 whole days.

We had pretty much exactly the same experience including PCR being inconclusive!

Also, we've had to pick him up today for a temperature :lol:

They gave calpol and didn't come down, so my wife picked him up and of course 30 mins at home and the temp is down and he's absolutely fine.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **jiggles** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 3:04 pm

I guess it’s just because my mum’s retired and looks after our son when we’re working but the idea of sending him into nursery just seems really alien to me, and he’s already 2. Though, him only ever being looked after by a handful of adults that know his behaviours, wants and needs inside out is probably a contributor as to why he’s still only babbling. He doesn’t really have to verbalise anything, though he clearly understands certain things I’m saying to him.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Tomous** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 3:25 pm

We've definitely noticed some things progress quicker after he started-they pretty much taught him to use a spoon without us realising!

But then, it costs us a grand a month so I'd hope he'd be learning something there :slol:

Tomous wrote:But then, it costs us a grand a month so I'd hope he'd be learning something there

Wtf bro... please tell me that's not a typical amount?! :dread:

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Tomous** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 4:28 pm

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:
Tomous wrote:But then, it costs us a grand a month so I'd hope he'd be learning something there

Wtf bro... please tell me that's not a typical amount?!

Yeah that's standard for 4 days a week and you have to pay for the place for the year.....

£960, but it's tax free so I think we put in £833 into our Government childcare account and then the £960 goes out from there.

Lines up with my sources.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Knoyleo** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 4:32 pm

Huge (bills) if true.

It is true.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **jiggles** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 4:42 pm

Holy moly. My condolences. Don’t think we could swing that without some serious cutting back.

Well, he can’t talk yet, but I do believe we are raising the whitest toddler around

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Tomous** » Wed Jan 19, 2022 4:44 pm

He has good taste!

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Photek** » Fri Feb 11, 2022 12:04 pm

My 'little' girl is 11 now and she's becoming more and more distanced from me. Any time I'm having a laugh she's like "dad can you not!".

This morning, dropping her off at school she walked away, stopped and ran back and gave me a big hug and said "I love you dad", it was out of the blue (we used to hug every day when I dropped her off)...on way back to my car cried my eyes out! :fp:

I do not understand how the nursery system works in England. I'm in Scotland and my daughter went to nursery 3 full days a week at the nursery next to the primary school and we didn't pay anything. It's attached to her primary school so maybe that's why.

Those fees are disgusting.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Tomous** » Fri Feb 11, 2022 3:14 pm

Prototype wrote:I do not understand how the nursery system works in England. I'm in Scotland and my daughter went to nursery 3 full days a week at the nursery next to the primary school and we didn't pay anything. It's attached to her primary school so maybe that's why.

Those fees are disgusting.

Is that from any age?

You get a bit more help when they hit 3 or 4 in England:

All 3 and 4-year-olds in England are entitled to 570 hours of free early education or childcare a year. This is often taken as 15 hours each week for 38 weeks of the year.

Tomous wrote:
Prototype wrote:I do not understand how the nursery system works in England. I'm in Scotland and my daughter went to nursery 3 full days a week at the nursery next to the primary school and we didn't pay anything. It's attached to her primary school so maybe that's why.

Those fees are disgusting.

Is that from any age?

You get a bit more help when they hit 3 or 4 in England:

All 3 and 4-year-olds in England are entitled to 570 hours of free early education or childcare a year. This is often taken as 15 hours each week for 38 weeks of the year.

Ahhh, sorry, didn't realise your kid was under 3.Think that's roughly similar to what we get.

My missus left her job due to the costs you mention as she would've been essentially working for someone else to raise our daughter. Realise not everyone can do that though so we were quite lucky in that regard.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Tomous** » Fri Feb 11, 2022 3:18 pm

Yeah, he's coming up to 18 months, started just after he turned 1. He does 4 days, as my wife is only 80% hours.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Moggy** » Fri Feb 11, 2022 5:02 pm

Signed my son up for his new school today, he starts Monday.

Seemed a good place and everyone we met was really nice.

Especially his new teacher :datass:

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **jiggles** » Mon Feb 28, 2022 3:11 pm

So our son (27 months) is extremely chatty these days but still doesn’t have a single word in his vocabulary. There are times his incoherent babbling has stumbled on real words at the correct time (bye, car, toilet, socks) but never to be repeated so I’m not sure it’s intentional. He doesn’t chew food either, just swallows anything you give him whole, no matter how lumpy.

We’re just out of our second speech & language appt and he’s being referred to a paediatrician next, where they’re going to be assessing if it’s autism. My partner is in bits, but I’m kind of numb to it. On the one hand, a positive diagnosis wouldn’t change who he is. He’s still my son and I love him more than anything in the world. The same person I’ve known this whole time. But on the other hand, and I am sick at my selfishness for even thinking this, if it turns out that is what it is, I can’t help but feel… loss? Like I could potentially never connect with him in the way I’d dreamed.

I don’t really know what to think.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Tomous** » Mon Feb 28, 2022 3:18 pm

jiggles wrote:So our son (27 months) is extremely chatty these days but still doesn’t have a single word in his vocabulary. There are times his incoherent babbling has stumbled on real words at the correct time (bye, car, toilet, socks) but never to be repeated so I’m not sure it’s intentional. He doesn’t chew food either, just swallows anything you give him whole, no matter how lumpy.

We’re just out of our second speech & language appt and he’s being referred to a paediatrician next, where they’re going to be assessing if it’s autism. My partner is in bits, but I’m kind of numb to it. On the one hand, a positive diagnosis wouldn’t change who he is. He’s still my son and I love him more than anything in the world. The same person I’ve known this whole time. But on the other hand, and I am sick at my selfishness for even thinking this, if it turns out that is what it is, I can’t help but feel… loss? Like I could potentially never connect with him in the way I’d dreamed.

I don’t really know what to think.

I'm sorry you're going through that mate and hope everything works out but nothing about what you said is selfish at all, so try not to beat yourself up.

PostRe: So you've ruined your life... by **Moggy** » Mon Feb 28, 2022 3:22 pm

jiggles wrote:So our son (27 months) is extremely chatty these days but still doesn’t have a single word in his vocabulary. There are times his incoherent babbling has stumbled on real words at the correct time (bye, car, toilet, socks) but never to be repeated so I’m not sure it’s intentional. He doesn’t chew food either, just swallows anything you give him whole, no matter how lumpy.

We’re just out of our second speech & language appt and he’s being referred to a paediatrician next, where they’re going to be assessing if it’s autism. My partner is in bits, but I’m kind of numb to it. On the one hand, a positive diagnosis wouldn’t change who he is. He’s still my son and I love him more than anything in the world. The same person I’ve known this whole time. But on the other hand, and I am sick at my selfishness for even thinking this, if it turns out that is what it is, I can’t help but feel… loss? Like I could potentially never connect with him in the way I’d dreamed.

I don’t really know what to think.

It sounds almost identical to my nephew. He wouldn't speak/use words and was tested for autism when he was 4 or 5.

He's 7 now and still struggles with words (he's great with numbers) but he can hold a conversation. He's a bit wild and has way too much energy, but is "normal" whatever that means.

A bit of a long winded story about the luckiest day of my life.

TL:DR I won the lottery.

Last Bank Holiday Monday in August last year, I was in the garden and my 14 year old came to the back door and told me her sister had fainted. She'd rung her mum because Kirsten had felt faint before hand but she's fainted nonetheless.
I walked into the house and found her in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't look right and then gave what I recognised as an agonal gasp. She was dying. I don't know if I even knew what I was doing but I went into autopilot. All of my first aid training kicked in all at once. Airway, breathing, circulation. Her airway was clear, no breathing, no pulse. I got my other daughter to ring 999, I started CPR straight away. I explained the situation to the operator and carried on. One of the fortunate things was that there was an ambulance available and was on its way.
After about 5 minutes her mum arrived and went hysterical seeing me doing compressions. She soon calmed down and was doing rescue breaths to help. The paramedics arrived shortly after but it took 40 minutes for them to get her back. A second ambulance and a doctor car turned up too, followed by an air ambulance. Absolutely amazing to see them working. After 8 shocks and 40 minutes, there was a pulse. They made the decision to sedate her but needed a 2nd air ambulance to come with an anaesthetist. They basically set up an operating table on the road outside my house and I got to kiss her on the forehead, not knowing if I'd see her alive again. She was taken to Cardiff Uni Hospital - 25 minutes in the air ambulance. I followed with my ex, driving. We got there to find her in a coma, to protect her brain - 40 minutes is a long time to be gone. The amount of stuff that goes through your mind about them, how they will be afterwards if they don't die. Images of them growing up, guilt that you could have done better, loads of other non-relevant gooseberry fool, all come flying through your mind. I realised pretty quickly that I (we) had won the lottery that day. The heart specialist said there was a 3% chance of actually getting her to hospital alive after a cardiac arrest. It was a Bank Holiday - any other Monday and I'd be working and the kids would be home alone. Her sister would normally be in her room listening to music but she was walking to the bathroom from her room and heard Kirsten hyperventilating on the stairs. Kirsten could have decided to go lie down after feeling unwell and just died in her room. If I hadn't had first aid training I could have see the agonal gasp as a laboured breath and just put her on the sofa to wait for the ambulance.
So many things...
She was in intensive care for a week and brought out of sedation after 3 days (she was waking up even while sedated).
Looking around the intensive care ward made me realise how lucky I was to have her. A stab victim, a car crash victim, heart attack cases and others, each having the best care in the world. The grey ward it was called as cases are brought in and suspected to have Covid until they are proved otherwise. If you have it, red ward and if not, cardiac ward. When she came round her memory was shot and after 3 days of sedation she was in delirium (I'd broken her nose, she caught covid on holiday, she'd broken her legs and other stories that came to her mind, along with the where am I? every 5 minutes.). On the Coronary Care Unit she had her own room and over the next 3 weeks she improved to the point where she was allowed home but wearing a defibrillator vest, which is a 24-7 thing. It monitors her heart all day, reports on anomalies and will shock her if it happens again. It won't do CPR though and after the 8 shocks to get her going, she is never left alone for more than a minute while awake. She is what I would describe as "fine" - her memory isn't brilliant and she gets frustrated by stuff easily. The defib unit has a lunchbox sized control unit and needs to be uploaded each night. She has to carry that with her everywhere and it pisses her off. But she's alive and that is the most important thing.
Kids...you'd swap places with them in a second if it meant they were okay but they don't half put you through the ringer at times. Like I said, I won the lottery that day.

So you've ruined your life...

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