Relationships Thread

[Fatal Exception]

Warehouse environment.

I've had lads calling me gay, telling me I stink, telling me I look like a girl because I have long hair and all kinds of immature crap. Just like some of you have just come up with then.

It's harassment from the women and it's bullying from the lads that involve themselves in the gossip, I reported it. It carried on, so I lost my rag and just took matters into my own hands on one occasion...

When I say throttled, it was more like, grabbed him by the neck then started pushing him around after I heard him say something to his mates.

I've had this kind of crap going on for almost two years, I really don't care if any of you think I'm making it up or not - why would I say I'm going through a nightmare situation if I'm not? I was hoping for some proper advice on what I might be able to do about it!

Involve the cops? Ignore it/ stop bitching about it and hope it goes away?

Are you actually gay though? I mean really? When you're standing next to a dude, do you wonder what it might be light to beat him off? Maybe slip it in your mouth?

[TornadoShaun]

Warehouse environment.

I've had lads calling me gay, telling me I stink, telling me I look like a girl because I have long hair and all kinds of immature crap. Just like some of you have just come up with then.

It's harassment from the women and it's bullying from the lads that involve themselves in the gossip, I reported it. It carried on, so I lost my rag and just took matters into my own hands on one occasion...

When I say throttled, it was more like, grabbed him by the neck then started pushing him around after I heard him say something to his mates.

I've had this kind of crap going on for almost two years, I really don't care if any of you think I'm making it up or not - why would I say I'm going through a nightmare situation if I'm not? I was hoping for some proper advice on what I might be able to do about it!

Involve the cops? Ignore it/ stop bitching about it and hope it goes away?

If it's really affecting you, speak to your boss/supervisor about it.

I know I'm going to get shotdown here for BantaLadness. In a warehouse environment, you're more than likely going to be called gay or something. Call them something else back and get on with it. Especially if they're lads your age.

But it's not the sort of namecalling that's 'for a laugh' or in jest like 'oi puffter give me a hand over here', it's malicious rumour spreading like 'gooseberry fool, this sexy chick fancies him and he's not one of us, let's try and make out he stinks or he's queer' etc and put her off, and it's constant abuse.

Now eventually I just ended up leaving these jobs because I got tired of it but now I've got it outside of work too because rumours spread. I've tried reporting it before, I've tried trying to get the message out that I'm not bothered about these girls, I've tried bitching and moaning, I've tried the 'if you think I stink, why not join me in the shower and kiss my arse while you're at it' fightback type stuff. It gets genuinely depressing when you go down the post office in a place where you've been living 30 years and you're all of a sudden hearing the same stuff you've been having to deal with at work.

Only things I haven't tried are ignoring it completely and involving the Police. Probably best to go all blasée and hope it stops the gossip as I doubt the cops could do much anyway even though they say you should report harassment.

I've had lads calling me gay, telling me I stink, telling me I look like a girl because I have long hair and all kinds of immature crap. Just like some of you have just come up with then.

I was hoping for some proper advice on what I might be able to do about it!

Have you considered buying a pair of big boy pants?

I think that comment might suggest it's you who should consider that..

[Finiarél]

But it's not the sort of namecalling that's 'for a laugh' or in jest like 'oi puffter give me a hand over here', it's malicious rumour spreading like 'gooseberry fool, this sexy chick fancies him and he's not one of us, let's try and make out he stinks or he's queer' etc and put her off, and it's constant abuse.

Now eventually I just ended up leaving these jobs because I got tired of it but now I've got it outside of work too because rumours spread. I've tried reporting it before, I've tried trying to get the message out that I'm not bothered about these girls, I've tried bitching and moaning, I've tried the 'if you think I stink, why not join me in the shower and kiss my arse while you're at it' fightback type stuff. It gets genuinely depressing when you go down the post office in a place where you've been living 30 years and you're all of a sudden hearing the same stuff you've been having to deal with at work.

Only things I haven't tried are ignoring it completely and involving the Police. Probably best to go all blasée and hope it stops the gossip as I doubt the cops could do much anyway even though they say you should report harassment.

Rumors happen mate, best thing you can do is just ignore it then. If you report it to the police you'll more than likely just get laughed out.
You really shouldn't have left the jobs though because of it, Just adds fuel to the fire in my eyes.


Serious question, Are you gay? If not then let them get on with it. who's arsed?
Do you shower on a regular basis? If you do, let them get on with it.
You know you don't stink and you know you have no interest in men.

[Skarjo]

I've had lads calling me gay, telling me I stink, telling me I look like a girl because I have long hair and all kinds of immature crap. Just like some of you have just come up with then.

I was hoping for some proper advice on what I might be able to do about it!

Have you considered buying a pair of big boy pants?

I think that comment might suggest it's you who should consider that..

Dude, someone called you a mean name.

You throttled them and lost your job.

THREE TIMES.

Seriously, I don't even understand how you can possibly think that grabbing someone by the neck is an appropriate response to someone telling their mate they think you smell.

This is strawberry floating primary school stuff. Grow up.

[TornadoShaun]

I've had lads calling me gay, telling me I stink, telling me I look like a girl because I have long hair and all kinds of immature crap. Just like some of you have just come up with then.

I was hoping for some proper advice on what I might be able to do about it!

Have you considered buying a pair of big boy pants?

I think that comment might suggest it's you who should consider that..

Dude, someone called you a mean name.

You throttled them and lost your job.



THREE TIMES.

Seriously, I don't even understand how you can possibly think that grabbing someone by the neck is an appropriate response to someone telling their mate they think you smell.

This is strawberry floating primary school stuff. Grow up.

You don't get it. It wasn't an isolated instant, it's constant abuse. I reacted once and I've been putting up with malicious rumour spreading for 2 years. What the strawberry float would you know unless you experience it? Do you know what it's like to walk around at work having all the local jack the lads making queer jokes and gestures at you and sniggering about it. It would be bad enough if I was gay let alone when I'm not. Do you know what it's like to walk around your local village and have the local chavs, having found out about the whole thing somehow - start spreading stories that I stink despite the fact that I'd been living in the same place for 29 years previously without a hitch? This is the primary school stuff. If you don't have anything useful to say, why don't you just shut up.

[Poser]

It's a really bizarre situation and the reason you haven't got much of a response here is that there's a chance nobody can relate to anything quite like it.

I would say rise above it, but it's clearly getting to you, else you wouldn't be here, so I would suggest a two-pronged approach, as follows:

1) I worked in warehouses for a bit, years ago, and I can imagine the mob mentality. I, personally, am not a hard bloke, but have an acid tongue, so I personally would rely on that. I've never been bullied because I'll tear strips off people, get really personal, very quickly. People leave you alone.

It's horrible, but I'd sink to their level, and beyond, to get them off your back. Be vicious.

2) As per Falsey's advice, you need to shag one or two of these women. I'm slightly confused because you seem to have implied that you're not interested, but also that you're bothered because these blokes are putting the girls off you.

Pick the most normal woman and ask her out. Have some fun, go on some dates, have some sex. Don't go boasting about it, maintain your decorum. It sounds to me like you're a bit stand-off-ish and making yourself an easy target. Choose wisely and make some (girl)friends.


They may not help at all, but it's what I'd do.

[Skarjo]

You don't get it. It wasn't an isolated instant, it's constant abuse. I reacted once and I've been putting up with malicious rumour spreading for 2 years. What the strawberry float would you know unless you experience it? Do you know what it's like to walk around at work having all the local jack the lads making queer jokes and gestures at you and sniggering about it. It would be bad enough if I was gay let alone when I'm not. Do you know what it's like to walk around your local village and have the local chavs, having found out about the whole thing somehow - start spreading stories that I stink despite the fact that I'd been living in the same place for 29 years previously without a hitch? This is the primary school stuff. If you don't have anything useful to say, why don't you just shut up.

Look, don't post in the Relationship Advice Thread if you don't want advice.

Seriously, you keep attempting to clarify the situation but every time you do, it gets more playground.

I mean, let's not beat around the bush here, you are a grown man getting upset about other grown men saying you smell. I'm not kidding when I say this is primary school stuff. I work in primary schools and this is literally the kind of thing they say about each other. You are letting yourself be victimised by the same tactics used against nine year olds by other nine year olds.

I half want to make you some cocoa and tell you they're all just jealous of your new trainers.

If you can't turn their insults back on them by not giving a gooseberry fool then either strawberry float their girlfriends or move to a bigger city.

[SEP]

Plus, you know, if you don't actually smell it should be pretty obvious to any lass who is in possession of a working now. If, however, they are believing this "rumour", you may be in need of a shower.

"TornadoShaun Smells" should be a pretty simple rumour to debunk.

[bear]

It sounds like the constant nature of the bullying is more of an issue than what the bullying is suggesting.

[Fatal Exception]

Mate, do you actually smell? If everyone is saying it, maybe you should shower a bit more.

[degoose]

My relationship is going pretty well but the wife is driving me nuts a bit. It's a bit of a mix of relationship and work threads into one but not straight up my issues. She has a job she hates , it pays well and she has been in it a year but she has already had enough as it is just stressing her out. It doesn't help that she has a bit of a lack of confidence some times so gets a bit anxious and has been pretty down about it all for the last 3 months.

I told her to jack in the job,give notice and look for something else, speak to her boss, Discuss things with her management just strawberry floating do something as she is an adult and should take charge. It's also stressing me out that i really can't be arsed being around her at some points as she just complains but does strawberry float all about it.

It's driving me a bit nuts that there are always emotional problems in the relationship or issues. None of them are bloody mine though.

That was more of a rant than advice required but makes me feel better

http://www.divorce-online.co.uk/

lol thanks but it's not that bad, just have to work through it.

[TornadoShaun]

Do you think I seriously don't shower regularly, after 2 years of people trying to imply that I don't shower...?

This is the exact same reason why it has become such a problem, because some of these lads get so jealous about the attention that I get from these girls that they just constantly stick to this myth and people who hear of it just join in because they don't seem to have the common sense to realise that if it were even true in the first place I think I'd have got the message by now. I shower or bath every night.

I know it's all childish stuff, and as I've said I've already tried turning their insults back on them and more besides. Nothing works. The analogy you gave is perfect, they're jealous that I'm more attractive than them. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with the whole thing though.. you just get fed up of hearing people go on and on about it.

Like I said, trying to ignore it is one of the only things I haven't tried..

[jamcc]

So on the advice of my therapist I joined a dating site.

Last night I ended up spending the night with a complete psycho maniac and it was amazing. Im talking the full works. Tied up, candlewax, biting - chick was insane.

At one point she slapped me right on the nuts, and after a brief but heated discussion we've decided not to do that anymore.

Biting and all that is shite.

[Finiarél]

So on the advice of my therapist I joined a dating site.

Last night I ended up spending the night with a complete psycho maniac and it was amazing. Im talking the full works. Tied up, candlewax, biting - chick was insane.

At one point she slapped me right on the nuts, and after a brief but heated discussion we've decided not to do that anymore.

Biting and all that is shite.

Wow. How can you be so wrong?

[Hexx]

I love the fact Falsey thinks that's the proper nwawty stuff. Bless.

Tell her you want to try sounding.

[Moggy]

I love the fact Falsey thinks that's the proper nwawty stuff. Bless.

Tell her you want to try sounding.

I just looked that up. Why the hell would anybody want to do that?

[False]

Im not into any foreign object insertions.

And biting was so rad.

[bigcheez2k3]

Man up, you fanny. Surely you should be happy if all the girls like you and the guys have to resort to childish remarks because of their jealousy. I like Poser's advice personally.

[Rocsteady]

Yeah go with poser's advice, it was the best.

I love the fact Falsey thinks that's the proper nwawty stuff. Bless.

Tell her you want to try sounding.

I love the fact people believe what he says.

Do you seriously believe he's making it all up?

Even if he was it'd still be more interesting than reading accusations regarding falsity.


Also I just read up on sounding. strawberry float that gooseberry fool.

[Wedgie]

I love the fact Falsey thinks that's the proper nwawty stuff. Bless.

Tell her you want to try sounding.

I just looked that up. Why the hell would anybody want to do that?

Just looked it up as well on urban dictionary and found this gem.

Bob had sounded himself so much his girlfriend could shove a tampax IN his cock.