GRcade

[iup=3509746]Outrunner[/iup] wrote:Is it normal to lurch from one major life decision to another at this point? I'm all over the place. Over the last week I've decided I'm:

Quitting my job to start a new business

Buying a house

Quitting my job and going to university

Travelling around:

Japan (solo for the first time)
China (tour group)
South East Asia (tour group)
South Korea (sole or group tour)
Australia and/or New Zealand (solo)

I'm like that and I have no problems in my love life!

I would try and avoid any irreversible decisions, but maybe a holiday would do you some good? Visiting Japan, Australia etc would hardly be a bad thing.

[iup=3509805]Joer[/iup] wrote:Heart said yes, head said no.

I listened to my head.

Glad to know it was the right head

[iup=3509790]Joer[/iup] wrote:My ex text me yesterday saying she's sorry, misses me and wants to get back together to try again.

She crazy. Pay no heed.

A text message, how sincere

[iup=3509746]Outrunner[/iup] wrote:Is it normal to lurch from one major life decision to another at this point? I'm all over the place. Over the last week I've decided I'm:

Quitting my job to start a new business

Buying a house

Quitting my job and going to university

Travelling around:

Japan (solo for the first time)
China (tour group)
South East Asia (tour group)
South Korea (sole or group tour)
Australia and/or New Zealand (solo)

Not sure about quitting your job, that bring you more stress. Going overseas is probably good, (Not Australia though, for example Taf said he was off to a cattle ranch and we never heard from him again). And if you come to NZ, it is best to go with other people. Because we really only have beautiful scenery, and it might be hard to enjoy that by yourself atm.

Bit drastic. Change for changes sake.
You may as well just change the colour of your socks, none of that is going to change the underlying issues you've got.

Outrunner - purely from a practical point of view, as someone going through a house move right now, if you have real intentions to buy a house, can I suggest buying the house before quitting your job and starting a business?

If you're self employed, you currently have to provide the last three years' accounts/statements. Sounds like a ballache to me.

[iup=3510183]Poser[/iup] wrote:Outrunner - purely from a practical point of view, as someone going through a house move right now, if you have real intentions to buy a house, can I suggest buying the house before quitting your job and starting a business?

I think it is possibly a manic phase. I'm literally just going from one idea to the next. I'm buying a house OR I'm quitting my job OR I'm going on holiday. Yesterday it was "I'M GOING TO START ONLINE DATING!". Today I'm struggling to even get out of bed. I've also found I'm starting to shut out my support network. I really need to work on not doing that.

Have you been to your GP yet?

Christ I am so bad at getting chicks to come home with me on the same night.

Good at getting numbers and organising dates, but strawberry float me.

Had some chick back at hers a couple of weeks ago now, started off with mates and she was a friend of theirs. Got her home, down to her underwear, and she was like nah i don't strawberry float on the first date. Was like, christ, it's not a date. Tried to pull the fact I'm leaving the country in the next couple of months but she wasn't having it so was a bit of a write off. Wasn't fit enough to put in the effort of further pursuing.

Had similar last night but never made it back to one of our homes. Asked her to come back to mine and she was like 'nah i'm not a slut'. k. She was actually really nice though. After mentioning my travel plans as well she said we'll get dinner next week and strawberry float after so wasn't complaining too much. Hopefully gooseberry fool comes off, maybe get a pleasant strawberry float buddy for a while before heading off. Last planned strawberry float buddy was a right bitch, disliked her so much it ruined the sex.

[iup=3511047]ianf[/iup] wrote:Had some chick back at hers a couple of weeks ago now, started off with mates and she was a friend of theirs. Got her home, down to her underwear, and she was like nah i don't strawberry float on the first date. Was like, christ, it's not a date. Tried to pull the fact I'm leaving the country in the next couple of months but she wasn't having it so was a bit of a write off. Wasn't fit enough to put in the effort of further pursuing.

You sound like a three year old. Wahh I want sex now, I'm leaving in SEVERAL MONTHS which means you need to get naked now! I don't have time for a second date!

[iup=3510336]Green Gecko[/iup] wrote:Have you been to your GP yet?

Yeah, I'm on anti-depressants and was on sleeping tablets too. Since work keep strawberry floating up my counselling I'm going to ask my GP next time I go

I had a really bad day yesterday and I'm thinking of going to stay with family for a little while. Before being a relationship I was perfectly happy with my own company but I'm finding being alone and having to come home to an empty house is too hard. I know I'll have to face it at some point but right here, right now I think this is the right move for me.

Rightey wrote:

[iup=3511047]ianf[/iup] wrote:Had some chick back at hers a couple of weeks ago now, started off with mates and she was a friend of theirs. Got her home, down to her underwear, and she was like nah i don't strawberry float on the first date. Was like, christ, it's not a date. Tried to pull the fact I'm leaving the country in the next couple of months but she wasn't having it so was a bit of a write off. Wasn't fit enough to put in the effort of further pursuing.

You sound like a three year old. Wahh I want sex now, I'm leaving in SEVERAL MONTHS which means you need to get naked now! I don't have time for a second date!

You were one odd three year old.

Ok I could have phrased that better to not sound like a dick but seriously he's leaving in several months and complaining that a girl won't have sex with him right now! It comes off as acting rather spoiled to me.

[iup=3511366]Rightey[/iup] wrote:

[iup=3511047]ianf[/iup] wrote:Had some chick back at hers a couple of weeks ago now, started off with mates and she was a friend of theirs. Got her home, down to her underwear, and she was like nah i don't strawberry float on the first date. Was like, christ, it's not a date. Tried to pull the fact I'm leaving the country in the next couple of months but she wasn't having it so was a bit of a write off. Wasn't fit enough to put in the effort of further pursuing.

You sound like a three year old. Wahh I want sex now, I'm leaving in SEVERAL MONTHS which means you need to get naked now! I don't have time for a second date!

...



eh?

She wasn't stunning, hot enough for a drunken one night stand. Not putting in effort to hit that just to get my dick wet.

Feels like my marriage might be coming to a close.

We've been together for 10 years, three kids, seen and done everything together. But it feels like we've become friends more than lovers, we hang out, we play games, we watch movies, but we never really go on dates or have sex any more. Some couples say their partner is their best friend too, I kind of feel like she's just my best friend.

I've been feeling this way for a couple of months and she brought it up earlier - "Are we really happy like this?"

It's kind of weird, because there isn't really any trigger, we haven't fallen out, it just feels like our relationship dynamic has changed.

Has anyone else been here? Like I say, we haven't fallen out, we're not arguing or shouting about it. It just feels like it's time for a refresh in our lives.

Now I've never been in a situation like that, but maybe you could try to do some new things? I know it seems like such a stupidly obvious suggestion but perhaps you could do plan a few dates and see if that gets her to reciprocate? It just seems a bit drastic to be considering ending things because the passion has died down, especially if you have 3 young kids.

[iup=3511572]Shadow[/iup] wrote:Feels like my marriage might be coming to a close.

We've been together for 10 years, three kids, seen and done everything together. But it feels like we've become friends more than lovers, we hang out, we play games, we watch movies, but we never really go on dates or have sex any more. Some couples say their partner is their best friend too, I kind of feel like she's just my best friend.

I've been feeling this way for a couple of months and she brought it up earlier - "Are we really happy like this?"

It's kind of weird, because there isn't really any trigger, we haven't fallen out, it just feels like our relationship dynamic has changed.

Has anyone else been here? Like I say, we haven't fallen out, we're not arguing or shouting about it. It just feels like it's time for a refresh in our lives.

I can't claim to say I have a clue what I'm talking about when it comes to this type of thing, but I'd also recommend trying new stuff like Rightey said. Based on what you've said, I think jumping to the conclusion that your marriage is ending might be a bit far and it doesn't sound like something that doesn't have a chance of being fixed, so at least talk it through, put in a bit of effort and try a few dates, a holiday or whatever. Of course, if you feel it isn't working in the end then I don't think forcing yourself to remain is healthy either (unless you both find that you don't mind the whole friends over lovers thing). It's perfectly possible for you both to be good parents even if you're separate and it doesn't necessarily have to be something that negatively impacts your kids, at least not in the long run.

Shadow - that's what happens mate. If you aren't arguing or angry / you expect lust or passion to stick around.

Freshen things up. Go white water rafting.

Take her to nandos.