GRcade

Wedgie wrote:The ex wife is being nice for a change.

Perhaps too nice.

Somehow we texted each other and mentioned that I hope I don't get a property until June or later as I wouldn't have enough money to get the furniture I desire for the property.

She said to stop paying her money for the kids every month and that should help. I said "are you serious?"

She said yeah. I said thanks but if she need any money, just let me know and she said it's fine.

I was like goofy from that awful Dolan webcomics... "Wait a minute what are you up to, dolan?" in my head when she's all "gooby pls."

My mum and mates think it's a trap. She could scutter off to CSA and say that I haven't been paying, but I kinda doubt that as I could always prove it to CSA that she gave the okay for it as it's in texts. And I've been using their CSA calculator and i'm paying just £30 more than they would take so it can't just because of wanting more money?

Oh well. I'm saving up the money and if CSA came calling, at least the money will be there in the bank.

I understand your thoughts, but trap or no, don't forget that the CSA (and frankly society at large) expects you to contribute to the upkeep of the kids.

I don't think her saying 'it's OK don't worry' would really be enough. You'd have to demonstrate she physically blocked the movement of cash.

It's obviously tough when you are strapped for cash, but I really would reconsider the situation. You don't have to lose face (quite the opposite) in doing so either.

mrspax wrote:

Wedgie wrote:The ex wife is being nice for a change.

Perhaps too nice.

Somehow we texted each other and mentioned that I hope I don't get a property until June or later as I wouldn't have enough money to get the furniture I desire for the property.

She said to stop paying her money for the kids every month and that should help. I said "are you serious?"

She said yeah. I said thanks but if she need any money, just let me know and she said it's fine.

I was like goofy from that awful Dolan webcomics... "Wait a minute what are you up to, dolan?" in my head when she's all "gooby pls."

My mum and mates think it's a trap. She could scutter off to CSA and say that I haven't been paying, but I kinda doubt that as I could always prove it to CSA that she gave the okay for it as it's in texts. And I've been using their CSA calculator and i'm paying just £30 more than they would take so it can't just because of wanting more money?

Oh well. I'm saving up the money and if CSA came calling, at least the money will be there in the bank.

I understand your thoughts, but trap or no, don't forget that the CSA (and frankly society at large) expects you to contribute to the upkeep of the kids.

I don't think her saying 'it's OK don't worry' would really be enough. You'd have to demonstrate she physically blocked the movement of cash.

It's obviously tough when you are strapped for cash, but I really would reconsider the situation. You don't have to lose face (quite the opposite) in doing so either.

i would think it makes more sense that both parents are in a stable situation and have been adults and come to an agreement then one suffereing and not able to get a house and furniture. That is though common sense which doesn't seem to prevail with most split ups.

Sounds like a trap to me Wedgie. Even if she is just trying to be nice, I would imagine that in a few months she will throw this back in your face when she goes through one of her "special" moods.

It does sound a tad odd, especially after all her little 'episodes' of late?! I mean, she moaned about a pair of sock for crissakes!

Yeah... If she drop any bullshit, I'll just "drop the mic" after saying that the money is lying there in my bank.

It doesnt work that way as far as the law is concerned mate.

You pay her every month the amount that is expected unless you want to be prosecuted for missed payments and probably damages.

Just tell her thanks for the offer but you'll keep paying to avoid any muddying of waters. Leaving yourself open to bullshit going forwards because you can feel smug in a brief moment isnt worth the hassle. Think about how many years you are going to have to deal with the payments. You dont know how she'll feel about you skipping out on a few months pay in ten years time.

Falsey wrote:It doesnt work that way as far as the law is concerned mate.

You pay her every month the amount that is expected unless you want to be prosecuted for missed payments and probably damages.

Just tell her thanks for the offer but you'll keep paying to avoid any muddying of waters. Leaving yourself open to bullshit going forwards because you can feel smug in a brief moment isnt worth the hassle. Think about how many years you are going to have to deal with the payments. You dont know how she'll feel about you skipping out on a few months pay in ten years time.

Exactly. As honourable as keeping the money in your account is, the courts would definitely prefer that it is being spent on the kids. Child support payments are not something you would do well to leave yourself open to the mercy of a court upon.

Falsey wrote:It doesnt work that way as far as the law is concerned mate.

You pay her every month the amount that is expected unless you want to be prosecuted for missed payments and probably damages.

Just tell her thanks for the offer but you'll keep paying to avoid any muddying of waters. Leaving yourself open to bullshit going forwards because you can feel smug in a brief moment isnt worth the hassle. Think about how many years you are going to have to deal with the payments. You dont know how she'll feel about you skipping out on a few months pay in ten years time.

You sound suspiciously up on this subject...mini Falsey kicking about somewhere?

My lawyer has advised me not to comment

Better call Saul!

Sounds like a tough situation. Well no it sounds like an AWFUL situation.

I fell for one of my close friends recently, I work with her as well. She's been good with me but it has been VERY difficult seeing her every day. I told her my feelings last September and we seemed to have our friendship on good terms again by Christmas, but I strawberry floated up by asking her out for breakfast one morning before I went home for Xmas (I know right!). I was trying to rekindle the friendship we used to have which was going for walks together and going out for lunch together, but she obviously didn't see it that way, and she may have been right, we were kind of doing datey things, but that didnt seem to bother her too much when we were just friends.

She's cut me out a bit now and I no longer message her at all and only do group activities with her. But we are on chatty terms again (mostly..she does have her days) But yes it is very difficult when you are in such close proximity all the time, distance yourself as much as you can and she'll probably start feeling better too. Be a friend when you see her if she needs that, but don't see her too often and get her out of that sodding house. I have a lot of respect for my friend with the way she has not been a total bitch with me, but I've told her quite clearly that if something I'm doing is bothering her then she needs to tell me about it and cut me out completely if I act up again. We go our separate ways soon anyway, and I will regret telling her my feelings, but I had to say something to her just in case there was something there, y'know?

I'll miss her like hell for a bit but I'll get over it when I'm not in close proximity and I'm already a hell of a lot better now I'm not talking to her everyday. I'd like to think she misses my friendship quite a lot, but she is playing it safe incase she ends up going out with me for food again or something You're not being a dick by giving her space, I feel a lot better and she will too, eventually. But to be fair, I haven't shagged, lived with this girl, or stolen her phone, just jeopradised a friendship I didn't really need to.

I've been dating someone for the last two months. She's gorgeous and apparently finds me attractive. I don't know how this has happened.

Banjo wrote:I've been dating someone for the last two months. She's gorgeous and apparently finds me attractive. I don't know how this has happened.

You know the saying

One woman's trash is another woman's treasure

It's likely very true.

Did someone hypnotise you in a lift recently?

Possibly.

Nice one B.

Cheers B.

Well this Friday Im all set to go on my romantic getaway.

Ive tried all avenues to wriggle out of it, and almost pulled it off with an incredible piece of mental agility, but alas, its gotten away from me now.

Shes really excited and counting down the days, the best Ive managed to do is get it down from 4 days to 3, with about a day of travelling, so in effect 2 days.

God help me.

In terms of GRcade travel romance, you have to make sure it competes with Cal's ladyboy sexploits.

Make us proud.