Relationships Thread

[Victor Mildew]

It will rival game of thrones.

Falsey, the raped BASTAD from the north.

[Rocsteady]

Got a date sorted (sort of) with a fit Asian lass I ran into today at work. Had tried to meet up once or twice years ago but never came about, then i got myself a girlfriend and never spoke to her since. Figured seeing as i'm newly single I'd strike up some chat so had a wee talk and asked her out for a drink.

Ball's in her court as apparently she works 6 evenings a week currently so I said to give me a shout when she's free. If she hasn't messaged me in the next week or so I'll send her something asking if she's still up for it, but I'm not too hung up about it.

Having said that, though, I've heard from the grapevine she's easy as strawberry float and she knew I was off to Aus before the end of the year before I asked her to the pub so sounds like it'll be a casual sex only arrangement. Which is perfect for me.

Could have shagged a stunner on Saturday night too, still living with my parents is really strawberry floating me. They're pretty heavy Christian on gooseberry fool like that, strawberry float knows why - they barely ever visit church. But don't really want to set off a chain of arguments and gooseberry fool when I need to live with them for another 6 months or so.

[1cmanny1]

One of my very recent exes is pregnant

Is this the young pierced one?

[Glowy69]

Got a date sorted (sort of) with a fit Asian lass I ran into today at work. Had tried to meet up once or twice years ago but never came about, then i got myself a girlfriend and never spoke to her since. Figured seeing as i'm newly single I'd strike up some chat so had a wee talk and asked her out for a drink.

Ball's in her court as apparently she works 6 evenings a week currently so I said to give me a shout when she's free. If she hasn't messaged me in the next week or so I'll send her something asking if she's still up for it, but I'm not too hung up about it.

Having said that, though, I've heard from the grapevine she's easy as strawberry float and she knew I was off to Aus before the end of the year before I asked her to the pub so sounds like it'll be a casual sex only arrangement. Which is perfect for me.

Could have shagged a stunner on Saturday night too, still living with my parents is really strawberry floating me. They're pretty heavy Christian on gooseberry fool like that, strawberry float knows why - they barely ever visit church. But don't really want to set off a chain of arguments and gooseberry fool when I need to live with them for another 6 months or so.

yeah being back at the parents is great fun.

My gf is coming to meet my mom and stay for the week from Wednesday. So the mother proceeds to ask if there will be and I quote "hanky panky"



I told her yes, lots.

[OnlyShallow]

One of my very recent exes is pregnant

Is this the young pierced one?

Yeah, it is.

[Irene Demova]

Pierced with OS' baby

[Cosmo]

Whenever I walk to Sainsbury I pass a place called 'Brandon Tool Hire.' I can't help but think of OS every single time.

[Victor Mildew]

For all your knobbler needs.

[That's not a growth]

Tinder date last night went very well. There was a food festival on in the city so we walked around that, had some Pimms in the sun. Afterwards we went to a bar and has a gooseberry fool load of cocktails since they were 2-4-1. Ended up making out a lot in the bar, which got us some questioning looks. Went back to mine and she ended up spending the night and we walked into the city together this morning, me to go work and her to catch a bus home. Should be meeting up again tomorrow. Not quite as crazy in the bed as the last one, yet, but I do have some scratches and bite marks on me and she seems up for escalating things next time so should be exciting.

[False]

Tinder is strawberry floating amazing, innit?

[MagicMarker]

If your into that weird electro rape stuff.

[Poser]

If your into that weird electro rape stuff.

[That's not a growth]

Tinder is strawberry floating amazing, innit?

It really is. She's taking about getting a remote control bullet for using in public and she wants to have sex while on drugs. I might be in love.

[False]

If your into that weird electro rape stuff.

Oi - dont knock it till you've tried it, son

[Jay Adama]

If your into that weird electro rape stuff.

Electro Rape is easily my second favourite genre of music.

[aayl1]

Tinder is strawberry floating amazing, innit?

It really is. She's taking about getting a remote control bullet for using in public and she wants to have sex while on drugs. I might be in love.

Oh, Ive done the remote control bullet in public thing with my girlfriend. It's pretty hot.

[Igor]

I did it with someone that was sat two rows in front of me, at a Russell Howard show. Quick, short bursts every so often. Anyway, this one instance, I thought I'd turned it off. 15 minutes later I get a text saying that it was still going and that her vag had gone numb.

[Rocsteady]

So Asian looking lass got back to me this morning, have a pub date set up for Sunday evening.

Just hoping that her parents have strawberry floated off for the night or something.

[OnlyShallow]

I'm going to briefly rename this the "Lust Thread"

I went to fill up my car today and there was this absolutely stunning blonde filling up her car at the same time. She was suitably attired for the weather, in cut off denim shorts and a vest top. We locked eyes for waaay too long (about ten seconds).

I think I'm in love.

[Victor Mildew]

Don't get this one pregnant K?