Relationships Thread

[Victor Mildew]

Hang on, his wife didn't go to nandos did she?

[MagicMarker]

I wouldn't be racing to get a divorce solicitor or nothing, but I'd certainly be checking my options, clarifying the situation. Even if hypothetically, she still loved him and she was sorry, etc, would Outrunner take her back after what she did?

[Poser]

Hang on, his wife didn't go to nandos did she?

Came home smelling of straw and pellets.

[Kezzer]

Hang on, his wife didn't go to nandos did she?

Came home smelling of straw and pellets.

[Green Gecko]

MM won the world cup.

And yes sex is rubbish first time. Go with the flow and don't worry, worrying about your performance will kill your boner, so stop worrying and ride the confidence boost you've got and things will get easier from there.

[1cmanny1]

I wonder if it is possible to have good sex for the first time. If you had an experienced partner, probably. However if you are both new then you are basically strawberry floated, and not in the good way.

[False]

Mine was alright. It was a pretty spur of the moment thing so there was no time to get nervous etc. I didnt embarrass myself which is all you can really ask for a first shot.

I wouldnt say it was anywhere near as good as proper experienced nobbing though.

[Green Gecko]

True. I didn't let her know I was a virgin until a couple weeks later and she was surprised (and actually touched by it). Apparently she couldn't tell. Must have had terrible sex before.

I mean really, either I'm amazing or it must have been the worst sex imaginable with the other guy. It kinda annoys me to think about it.

[1cmanny1]

It is usually worse for the girl if it is her first time. So that detracted quite a bit from my experience.

[False]

It blew my mind when I found out that girls can bleed on their first time.

I was not ready for that gooseberry fool.

[That's not a growth]

Holy gooseberry fool I feel like I missed a unicorn by not being online until now. Nice one MM! Now it's time to get the nervousness behind you and start enjoying it. Great time are ahead.

[Green Gecko]

Ah the old popping the cherry. I didn't have to worry about that. But I was (and still am) a good fit. That helps a lot.

I dunno what I'd do with a meagre boner. Probably more foreplay and boobies.

No good if you yet nervous though, I've already mentioned the dreaded male laugh being one of my boner killers but stress at uni was also a good one. On the other hand made me feel awesome and graduated.

Obv boning is good for your wellbeing.

[aayl1]

Faster he acts the better - why?

Well I tried to explain it, but you're leaving your joint savings accessible to someone who has proven untrustworthy and has no respect for you.

Also he I'd suggest going to a lawyer so the lawyer can advise him on how best to cover himself if she starts trying to twist the truth.

I very much doubt the relationship can be saved at this point (at least if I was in outrunner's situation) so I'd be playing for damage control here.

Yes, it's important to get your head straight, but you really need to be covering your arse at the same time in these situations.

[Poser]

Can't remember the name of my first. There's a chance I never actually asked. We were both wasted and I found it quite hard to come.

Did eventually, but it was a grind. Got it out the way, I guess.

I was 18 and at uni, so it happened relatively late in my life. We somehow managed not to wake up my roommate, though in my defence he used to sleep with ear plugs and an eye mask. TBH, I was so pissed I'd sort of forgotten he was there. It was Halloween - when we woke up, she had loads of face-paint on. She washed her face and I showed her to the door, barely exchanged a word.

I found two empty condom packets the next day, but couldn't find the jonnies anywhere. I spent the next few months shitting myself that she was going to turn up with a bump...

Safe to say it wasn't a classic.

[Oblomov Boblomov]

MM you hero .

Another victory for the Relationship Thread and mankind as a whole.

[That's not a growth]

With my first I was barely 16 on holiday in Cyprus and got to know an English girl out there who was also on holiday. She was my first kiss, then my first blow job then on our last night there we snuck into a boat at night and strawberry floated on it. She ended up getting a friction burn on her back. We stayed in touch after we got back into the UK and were in a relationship for just less than a year and a half after that despite living over 200 miles apart so only able to see each other on weekends. Not too bad.

[False]

I nobbed a dirty blonde on a sofa in a nightclub.

It was fun, but I dont think she was quite wifey material.

[That's not a growth]

What, in a private area or with a crowd around?

[Rocsteady]

Well played MM, you meeting up with her for future sexy times soon too?

Got laid last night as well after a few week dry spell, was alright. Quite nice to shag someone different after just being with the girlfriend for ages.

Was pretty good looking too, I had a bit (far) too much to drink beforehand so was a slow starter but got there in the end. strawberry floating great blowjob.

Also strawberry float me but she made a huge amount of noise. Like, actually offputting. Even putting my hands on her thighs had her moaning like Casper on crack, by the time we were properly going at it she was strawberry floating shrieking. Was like, Jesus. Calm down.

[Green Gecko]

*American psycho boning n flexing gif*

Edit: pertaining to Falsey in nightclub