Relationships Thread

[Poser]

She was my first kiss, then my first blow job then on our last night there we snuck into a boat at night and strawberry floated on it.

Was Harry on the boat?




My first kiss, hand job, blowy, fingers and tops were all the same incident. On the roof of a block of flats on NYE, just before I turned 16. It was fecking freezing. Shouldn't have taken me so much longer to go the whole way, TBH. If only I'd had more access to sex-hungry London jewish girls.

[False]

What, in a private area or with a crowd around?

It was a booth set up. It wasnt dead busy but there was people around. I was shitfaced at the time so I didnt really give a strawberry float.

Even putting my hands on her thighs had her moaning like Casper on crack, by the time we were properly going at it she was strawberry floating shrieking. Was like, Jesus. Calm down.

[Moggy]

Even more astonishing than MM losing it to the bitch bunny girl is the revelation that Manny has had sex?

[Mini E]

I feel genuinely proud right now.

[Skippy]

My first time was a nightmarish horror

[Poser]

Can't remember the name of my first...

It was Halloween - when we woke up, she had loads of face-paint on. She washed her face and I showed her to the door, barely exchanged a word...

My first time was a nightmarish horror

So... how you been keeping?

[bear]

Even more astonishing than MM losing it to the bitch bunny girl is the revelation that Manny has had sex?

Ewe are surprised by that?

[Glowy69]

Mine was okay, things didn't work to start with, but in true Joey tribianni style I kept going until things worked.

Like everyone has said, do it more, it'll get better and you'll feel more comfortable.

[1cmanny1]

Mine was okay, things didn't work to start with, but in true Joey tribianni style I kept going until things worked.

Like everyone has said, do it more, it'll get better and you'll feel more comfortable.

And then you get bored of it, which is when the car batteries etc come in.

[1cmanny1]

Even more astonishing than MM losing it to the bitch bunny girl is the revelation that Manny has had sex?

Need I remind you whose idea you stole to get you wife to marry you? You would still be having sex if it wasn't for me, pray I don't do anything else.

[Outrunner]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Firstly this did make my laugh for the first time so than you Dual:

Found out my wife has been having an affair for the past three weeks. Apparently she's "confused". She's staying with a friend right now

Alcohol and self-harming. Fun times!

The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.

I'm still at the blaming myself stage even though on a logical level I know this is on her. I have been talking to people but over the years my social anxiety combined with my introverted nature combined with my depression means I have very few friends left. Those that I do have are rallying round though and I'm seeing them all tonight.

Hope this a) helps 2) makes you laugh and secondly, makes you realise that however this ends up, you were the good guy. Everyone goes through a bad patch and it's easy for us all to get in a rut. Are you a young couple? Has she had serious relationships before? All this should be taken into account.

I think I know I'm a decent guy, with issues yes, but still a good guy who doesn't deserve this. But since answers are short coming and really non-answers I'm trying to figure out what's gone wrong. And being me I'm taking on a lot of responsibility myself when it isn't deserved. For balances sake she is taking full ownership of this and isn't implying I've done anything.

We're young in the sense the relationship is young. We've been together for four and a half years, married two. As for age, she is 24 (20 when we got together) and I'm 37 (32 when we got together). I am her first relationship ever she is my first serious relationship (yes I'm a late starter).

Thanks for the advice on the baking front but I'm not touching the account, she may have strawberry floated behind my back but I know she wouldn't empty it. I am keeping all my options open whether it's getting back together or eventual divorce.

My position is, even after what she has done I want to work things out with her. I don't know what her position is exactly and neither does she. She knows is we separate she will end up single - he doesn't want her as he won't be able to trust her. We have agreed to counselling because talking is just making us go round in circles and we need more help than we can give ourselves. Even if counselling helps us understand that it won't work it'll be better than the limbo I'm in now.

I'm a mess and all over the place but I'm trying to be positive (yesterday was hard lots of crying) but I need to start forcing myself to eat, almost 5 days with next to nothing is starting to take its toll.

Well...that was rambling

[Trelliz]

MM won the world cup.

And yes sex is rubbish first time. Go with the flow and don't worry, worrying about your performance will kill your boner, so stop worrying and ride the confidence boost you've got and things will get easier from there.

[aayl1]

Good luck with trying to work it out, Outrunner. I don't think I could move past it, nut I'm sure you're a stronger man than I am.

[Moggy]

Even more astonishing than MM losing it to the bitch bunny girl is the revelation that Manny has had sex?

Need I remind you whose idea you stole to get you wife to marry you? You would still be having sex if it wasn't for me, pray I don't do anything else.

[Outrunner]

Well the escalated quickly. From loving me with all or heart, to being confused about her feelings about me to saying she doesn't love me anymore. Lots of "I really did love you", "you're too good for me", " I still care about you and worry about you"

I'm out of limbo and in a whole new level of hell. She was my life and I don't know how I'm going to cope without her. After everything I still love her

[Pacman]

strawberry float... Sorry man

[OnlyShallow]

Well the escalated quickly. From loving me with all or heart, to being confused about her feelings about me to saying she doesn't love me anymore. Lots of "I really did love you", "you're too good for me", " I still care about you and worry about you"

I'm out of limbo and in a whole new level of hell. She was my life and I don't know how I'm going to cope without her. After everything I still love her

Yeah, been there. But you'll get through it, believe me. Luckily and unluckily you don't have kids. The kids are what kept me together and focused on what my priorities were.

[Glowy69]

Well the escalated quickly. From loving me with all or heart, to being confused about her feelings about me to saying she doesn't love me anymore. Lots of "I really did love you", "you're too good for me", " I still care about you and worry about you"

I'm out of limbo and in a whole new level of hell. She was my life and I don't know how I'm going to cope without her. After everything I still love her

See my opening post and how I managed. It gets easier man. Takes a long time but it does. And there's nothing anyone else can say.

Go out with your mates, have some fun, if you can, and try not to be alone too much.

[Slayerx]

Try do something so you don't have too much time to ponder.

I hit the gym and found that helped.

[Green Gecko]

Too many options are bad. Find a project, decide on an action plan, execute it even if it takes ages don't lose sight of what you need to do.