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Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:33 am
by Shadow
Igor wrote:When you say 'hitting' as a method of child control, everyone seems to think that the parent hits the child. When I say effective spanking, I mean it has to be done it such as way that it works. Smacking a child, then immediately hugging him, saying sorry etc does nothing. Spanking a child with a plastic ruler once on the bare buttocks whilst explaining why you are doing it is alot more effective than some naughty step bollocks. The child associates doing something it is told as bad with the shame of being spanked and does not do it again. Simple.
Punching a child, or slapping with the hand is ineffective, and child abuse.
wat
"Whipping the buttocks with a ruler > slapping" You say?
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:34 am
by LewisD
I just think it's right in that it teaches the childred to be scared of doing something wrong.
Kids these days aren't scared of any consequences of being little strawberry floaters, smoking at 12 and carrying knives.
You could argue that it's because these parents are too lenient.
Teaching a child that you're going to make him/her sit on a step for 5 minutes when they've been bad is rubbish, they'll see through that.
I used to be scared of breaking the rules and being bad, because I knew my old man would come at me with a belt.
I was never scared of my dad, if anything it made me respect him greatly, I was scared of the consequences, and that's the important bit.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:34 am
by Qikz
Anung Un Rama wrote:Tragic Magic wrote:I was smacked as a kid and I think it's wrong. Teaching respect and good behaviour through violence is ridiculous.
Tell that to the world.
So that's why you turned out how you are now.
only kidding...I believe parents should be able to give them a small smack, especially if they are being fuckwits. If they can't, how will they ever learn? It's like schools can do nothing to straighten out people since there's nothing they can do which will ever stop the kid doing it again.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:40 am
by Shadow
When people used to get the cane at school, did no-one ever rebel and kick the teachers head in? I'm pretty sure that's what I'd have done, the worst punishment they have is hitting you with a stick, if they're about to hit you with a stick for swearing or something then why not give them a swift headbutt? You're still only going to get hit with a stick.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:40 am
by Rightey
Shadow wrote:I think if my lad was a teen and I caught him smoking or stealing or something I'd give him a swift uppercut, but I couldn't really imagine hitting a young child.
Now that sounds like a bad idea. When they're young they can look back on it and realize that their parents were doing it to show them that whatever they got spanked for was wrong, but an uppercut would really mess them up, especially at that age when they're supposed to be smarter, you should probably just show your disappointment in him instead of using violence.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:42 am
by Jax
It's also illegal.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:45 am
by Rightey
That too.
I also think MCN could probably back us up on the don't hit an older kid thing.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:47 am
by Shadow
Rightey wrote:Shadow wrote:I think if my lad was a teen and I caught him smoking or stealing or something I'd give him a swift uppercut, but I couldn't really imagine hitting a young child.
Now that sounds like a bad idea. When they're young they can look back on it and realize that their parents were doing it to show them that whatever they got spanked for was wrong, but an uppercut would really mess them up, especially at that age when they're supposed to be smarter, you should probably just show your disappointment in him instead of using violence.
But you'd use violence when they're young and innocent and don't fully understand what they're doing is wrong? I think violence as a punishment for doing something that they know full well to be wrong is far more justified than hitting a kid who may not have known what they were doing.
I've just remembered one time I was hit by my mum, I must have been 4, and I said strawberry float not really knowing what it meant, but I'd heard someone else say it, she smacked me round the head, I resent her for that till this day, I genuinely didn't know it was a bad word.
What you're suggesting makes the parents judge, jury and executioner, what happens when the kids are innocent, but the parents misunderstand and hit them anyway? Not necessarily bad parenting, just misunderstanding.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:52 am
by Rightey
Well I'm sure we've all got spankings we don't feel we deserved but nothing is really perfect. I'm sure people who don't get spanked get sent to their rooms/ get time outs when they're innocent as well. As far as the understanding goes, I disagree, a child is perfectly capable of understanding the concept that it is not acceptable to throw a tantrum when they can't get something they want, or that they did something bad, if they get punished for it then and there.
As for the judge jury executioner thing, if not the parents then who?
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:53 am
by Oh Teh Noes
I was smacked as a kid. I'm really nice now.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:58 am
by Shadow
That is literally the only time I can remember being hit.
If a parent wrongly punishes a child and puts them on the naughty step the child will forget within a few days, they'll remember being hit forever, unless they're like you and got hit every few minutes.
I have a two year old, I couldn't think of a reason to hit him if I tried, nothing he does deserves hitting. To me it's the most severe punishment a parent can give and if possible should never be given.
My mum is a child psychologist/social worker who works with loads of abused kids, this may have an effect on my opinions on the matter.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:59 am
by Tragic Magic
To the people who would slap children, if you had a dog and it chewed up your shoes would you slap the dog? And if not, why not?
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:00 am
by Igor
Shadow wrote:Igor wrote:When you say 'hitting' as a method of child control, everyone seems to think that the parent hits the child. When I say effective spanking, I mean it has to be done it such as way that it works. Smacking a child, then immediately hugging him, saying sorry etc does nothing. Spanking a child with a plastic ruler once on the bare buttocks whilst explaining why you are doing it is alot more effective than some naughty step bollocks. The child associates doing something it is told as bad with the shame of being spanked and does not do it again. Simple.
Punching a child, or slapping with the hand is ineffective, and child abuse.
wat
"Whipping the buttocks with a ruler > slapping" You say?
Yes.
Slap a kid with your hand - He associates your hand with the sting and shame of being spanked.
Quick slap with ruler, while explaining the reasoning for the punishment in a fair and just manner - Child does not associate your hand with said shame and sting, but the ruler.
Simple psychology.
And Shadow, you're right. Hitting a child without fulling explaining your reasoning for doing so, being over zealous, or overly harsh is wrong. Smacking a 4 year old upside the head for saying 'strawberry float' and not explaining for meaning is useless. However, I see nothing wrong with spanking if it is done correctly.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:00 am
by Rightey
Shadow wrote:If a parent wrongly punishes a child and puts them on the naughty step the child will forget within a few days, they'll remember being hit forever, unless they're like you and got hit every few minutes.
I didn't get hit every few minutes, I said it lasts for less than a minute. If you're beating your kids every few minutes then there is something wrong with you. I would get warnings first and if I continued, then I'd get hit.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:03 am
by Shadow
How many times were you hit?
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:03 am
by Rightey
Tragic Magic wrote:To the people who would slap children, if you had a dog and it chewed up your shoes would you slap the dog? And if not, why not?
A dog doesn't learn anything from a slap, but when training it you still pull on the leash, and use a training, aka choke, collar to let him know in a physical manner that what he did was wrong, and when he does something right you reward him in a physical manner.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:04 am
by Shadow
Rightey wrote:Tragic Magic wrote:To the people who would slap children, if you had a dog and it chewed up your shoes would you slap the dog? And if not, why not?
A dog doesn't learn anything from a slap, but when training it you still pull on the leash, and use a training, aka choke, collar to let him know in a physical manner that what he did was wrong, and when he does something right
you reward him in a physical manner.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:06 am
by Tragic Magic
Rightey wrote:Tragic Magic wrote:To the people who would slap children, if you had a dog and it chewed up your shoes would you slap the dog? And if not, why not?
A dog doesn't learn anything from a slap, but when training it you still pull on the leash, and use a training, aka choke, collar to let him know in a physical manner that what he did was wrong, and when he does something right you reward him in a physical manner.
Why would choking a dog be any different to slapping it?
And why not reward a child for doing good rather than hurting them for doing something wrong? A stern telling off and a talk is all that's needed to teach them right from wrong.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:06 am
by Rightey
physical manner being a dog treat, and I can't remember how many times I got hit as a kid. Although if I had to guess I'd say only a few times a year.
Re: Spankings
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:09 am
by Shadow
I'm actually really shocked that someone who was spanked thinks that it's a good idea.
Fair enough to say it did you no lasting damage, but to say it's a valid form of education just seems crazy to me.