TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)

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Knoyleo
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Knoyleo » Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:05 pm

So sorry for your loss, Igor.

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Buffalo
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Buffalo » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:15 pm

Condolences, Igor.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Rocsteady » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:18 pm

That's awful Igor. You seem a great guy, I hope you're holding up ok.

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Somebody Else's Presents
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Somebody Else's Presents » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:25 pm

Ah strawberry float, Igor. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Igor
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Igor » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:13 pm

Thanks everyone. She was a chronic alcoholic and things just deteriorated very quickly back in October. Suddenly she was yellow, frail, abdomen swollen. All in all, she was seemingly healthy to dead in less than three months. I'm 31 and have been living my own life away from her for the last decade but I'm still dealing with a guilty conscious over not doing something to stop the drinking but I'm seeing a therapist again once the funeral is out of the way so that should help.

Pretty tragic situation, to be honest, my two youngest brothers are 9 and 10, she had them 20 years after she had me.

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aayl1
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by aayl1 » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:29 pm

I'm really sorry you have to deal with such a difficult situation, Igor. Genuinely wish you the best.

Restarting therapy is a good decision and I hope it helps you find peace. I don't think you should feel guilty for the decisions she made but I completely understand why you do.

Again, all the best - my heart goes out to you.

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Victor Mildew » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:30 pm

My dad went the same way, but he was a banana split to me for most of my adult life so I have little sympathy for him. There's nothing that can be done for alcoholics once they're fully gone, you couldn't have done anything.

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Zilnad
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Zilnad » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:37 pm

I'm sorry to hear that, Igor. I worry the exact same thing will happen to my Dad but there's really nothing I or anyone can say to bring him out of his alcoholism. I hope you and your family are coping okay and try not to place guilt on yourself.

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Denster
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Denster » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:44 pm

Sorry for your loss, Igor.

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DML
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by DML » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:56 pm

Just look after yourself Igor.

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Corazon de Leon
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Corazon de Leon » Tue Jan 12, 2021 11:11 pm

Igor wrote:Thanks everyone. She was a chronic alcoholic and things just deteriorated very quickly back in October. Suddenly she was yellow, frail, abdomen swollen. All in all, she was seemingly healthy to dead in less than three months. I'm 31 and have been living my own life away from her for the last decade but I'm still dealing with a guilty conscious over not doing something to stop the drinking but I'm seeing a therapist again once the funeral is out of the way so that should help.

Pretty tragic situation, to be honest, my two youngest brothers are 9 and 10, she had them 20 years after she had me.


So sorry to hear this mate. Hope you and yours are coping as best you can. :(

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VlaSoul
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by VlaSoul » Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:09 am

Igor wrote:My mother died last Wednesday night, just 50 years old. Without consulting anyone other than my OAP grandmother who just last year figured out 'the internet' (read: she can now access Facebook), some old school friend of my mother set up a GoFundMe not more than 72 hours after she'd died, to 'help pay for funeral expenses, etc'.

Some people, strawberry float me. Nothing said to me our my younger brother, nothing said to my mother's partner - just straight begging for charity on our behalf. We only found out because my brother was scrolling through Facebook and suddenly sees a close up picture of my now-dead mother's face she'd kindly included in her Facebook post.

Why do some people love muscling in on other people's grief?

Sorry to hear that, my condolences.

I think some people just want to seem like they're virtuous, and so they do gooseberry fool like that. It's not necessarily deliberate on their behalf; social competition like that can be largely subconcious.

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That's not a growth
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by That's not a growth » Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:54 am

Sorry for your lost Igor, and that's an odd situation with the friend. Hopefully your chat did the trick.

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jawa2
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by jawa2 » Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:09 am

Hey, Igor, I'm sorry to hear about your mum. Heavy drinking is such a tough situation to try and help with.

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Drumstick
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Drumstick » Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:43 am

Igor mate, strawberry float. So sorry for your loss. Alcoholism is a bastard.

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Clarkman
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Clarkman » Wed Jan 13, 2021 12:17 pm

Sounds like you're processing and coping really well at an awful time, Igor. I hope that the GoFundMe idiocy isn't impacting on your space to grieve.

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DarkRula
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by DarkRula » Wed Jan 13, 2021 12:25 pm

Sorry for your loss, Igor. It's good to know you're coping well despite that loss.

As for the GoFundMe thing, I feel like some people need to make everything about themselves. I've no idea whether that is the case here, but it does seem wrong to have set it up without asking first, and so soon after it happened.

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Victor Mildew » Wed Jan 13, 2021 12:44 pm

Igor, remember the depression and anxiety thread is available here for a safe haven to chast about things.

Hexx wrote:Ad7 is older and balder than I thought.
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Tsunade
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Tsunade » Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:10 pm

I'm sorry for your loss Igor

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Denster
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PostRe: TCRT 9: The TCRT thread Wars (retroactively titled TCRT9: Episode IV – A New TCRT)
by Denster » Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:45 pm

Just had my covid jab.


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