The Facebook Thread 2

[Moggy]

Alert alert ,jesus in weatherspoons in town doorman told me to finish my pint ,head office has said all pubs are closing until further notice

Lots of panicked replies of “Wetherspoons are closing, gooseberry fool that’s serious”

Then:

No just doorman was a twat ,manager just came round said its cuz a pigeon flying around ,knew should never listen to bouncers

[Blue Eyes]

Choking up here.

[Preezy]

maeks u fink dunnit tho babez xx

[Jenuall]

So profound!

The irony is that 90% of people who like and share that kind of gooseberry fool don't even remember any of those things!

[Blue Eyes]

We used to have to cut bread with knives back in those days. Not like now, with the iPhones and other fancy doodads.

[Blue Eyes]

Where do you buy these magic food producing ovens from?

[Moggy]

Choking up here.

It was a better world when women had to stay home and children were beaten.

[Jenuall]

Choking up here.

It was a better world when women had to stay home and children were beaten.

Women and kids these days just need to learn to be content with their lot!

[Moggy]

Choking up here.

It was a better world when women had to stay home and children were beaten.

Women and kids these days just need to learn to be content with their lot!

You sound like somebody who thinks cheese should be in the fridge! IT DOESN’T NEED A FRIDGE, STOP RUINING THE WORLD!!

[Blue Eyes]

Choking up here.

It was a better world when women had to stay home and children were beaten.

Women and kids these days just need to learn to be content with their lot!

You sound like somebody who thinks cheese should be in the fridge! IT DOESN’T NEED A FRIDGE, STOP RUINING THE WORLD!!

Is that because they never had central heating or what? Such a weird line.

[Jenuall]

Choking up here.

It was a better world when women had to stay home and children were beaten.

Women and kids these days just need to learn to be content with their lot!

You sound like somebody who thinks cheese should be in the fridge! IT DOESN’T NEED A FRIDGE, STOP RUINING THE WORLD!!

Is that because they never had central heating or what? Such a weird line.

They were all protected from the potential side effects of consuming mouldy cheese because of all the soap they had in their mouths.

[Moggy]

Choking up here.

It was a better world when women had to stay home and children were beaten.

Women and kids these days just need to learn to be content with their lot!

You sound like somebody who thinks cheese should be in the fridge! IT DOESN’T NEED A FRIDGE, STOP RUINING THE WORLD!!

Is that because they never had central heating or what? Such a weird line.

They were all protected from the potential side effects of consuming mouldy cheese because of all the soap they had in their mouths.

The hot bread stopped the mould.

[Dual]

I remember comic sans

[Victor Mildew]

Arthur unknown x

[Cuttooth]

Arthur unknown x

Do you think that bruised our ego?

I don't want anyone to know I wrote this.

[Jenuall]

I was intrigued by the "..." between two of the sections so a quick google brought up a complete version containing this extra bit in there:

I remember the shop on the corner,
Where biscuits for pennies were sold
Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it... I'm just getting Old?
Bathing was done in a wash tub,
With plenty of rich foamy suds
But the ironing seemed never ending
As Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'

Just more bullshit really, not sure why that bit in particular deserved the chop!

[Blue Eyes]

I was intrigued by the "..." between two of the sections so a quick google brought up a complete version containing this extra bit in there:

I remember the shop on the corner,
Where biscuits for pennies were sold
Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it... I'm just getting Old?
Bathing was done in a wash tub,
With plenty of rich foamy suds
But the ironing seemed never ending
As Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'

Just more bullshit really, not sure why that bit in particular deserved the chop!

That's probably the least offensive bit!

[Jenuall]

I was intrigued by the "..." between two of the sections so a quick google brought up a complete version containing this extra bit in there:

I remember the shop on the corner,
Where biscuits for pennies were sold
Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it... I'm just getting Old?
Bathing was done in a wash tub,
With plenty of rich foamy suds
But the ironing seemed never ending
As Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'

Just more bullshit really, not sure why that bit in particular deserved the chop!

That's probably the least offensive bit!

Probably why they took it out.

"This is too reasonable! I need to keep this focused on grade A bullshit to really stick it to these woke strawberry floating kids!"

[Victor Mildew]

Reminds of when my dad, completely seriously, started quoting himself on Facebook.

He had a quote from the dalai lama, and then underneath it some bollocks quote he made up himself with his name by it

[Mini E]

This is someone's profile picture. I don't quite know what to think about this.