[GAME] The Files of Detective Offerman Tapik

Lagamorph wrote:Get pissed on cheap tesco own brand cider before going to her house

A feeling of overwhelming thirst suddenly overcomes you.

I want a drink... strawberry float it, it's Saturday night... for a few more minutes, anyway. I wonder where I can buy booze around here?

Despite being an appropriately empty, spooky village, Barrenside inexplicably has a 24-hour Tesco. Although you're the kind of private investigator that takes cases several hours away and believes horseback is the best way to travel, you're not so cut off from the modern world that you don't have a debit card. You purchase two large bottles of the Value Range cider from the friendly self-serve machine and crack one open as soon as you exit the store, swigging heartily.

As you trek to the address the old woman gave you, you realise [hic] that you've finished the first two-litre bottle already. Your walking becomes a little [hic] more wayward but you manage to find the address. An old, large stone house is set in the ground before you, amongst the trees. Not a single light blares from within; only the moon's gaze illuminates your view.

What shall you do - knock? Ring the bell? Call the woman on your phone? Or something else?

I will get my horse to knock on the door.

Moggy wrote:I will get my horse to knock on the door.

Your beloved horse, Fatal, died earlier tonight on the freeway. :cry:

I am going to shout drunkenly through the letterbox

Kezzer wrote:I am going to shout drunkenly through the letterbox

"Hello? [hic] Old lady? OLD LAAA [hic] dy. [throws up] HELLO?"

Nothing stirs other than echoes. The letterbox creaks and is covered in dust. It doesn't seem to have been used in a very long time.

Try the door? Or call the woman?

Take out my phone and try to dial but it wont stop spinning in my hand, I throw it over my shoulder and bang on the door instead.

Break in and pretend I'm Batman

Rax wrote:Take out my phone and try to dial but it wont stop spinning in my hand, I throw it over my shoulder and bang on the door instead.

You take your mobile phone out of your pocket. There's one unread text message, from Anu. You read it.

"Having a great time. Hope you are too. xxxx"

That's strange. It's always two xs, never four. She must be a little drunk... a bit like me!

You stare at the text with the phone in your open palm... and it starts to spin.

What the flying float?

This truly is a curious development. Is this just the alcohol affecting you? Are you seeing things? Or is something sinister causing the cell to spin? You try to call the old woman back, but the handset continues to spin.

strawberry float it. You casually lob the phone over your shoulder and into a push. You approach the door and give it a good, hard knock.

It's unlocked and it swings open...

What's your next move?

Break in and pretend I'm a horse.

Piss in the closet under the stairs while singing Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash.

Moggy wrote:Break in and pretend I'm a horse.

You leap through the open doorway on all fours.

"NEI-GH-GH-GH-GH!"

You gallop around the darkened entrance room. The floorboards rattle underneath but show no strain upon being hoofed upon.

"I AM A HORSE!"

Your bewildered, maddened, intoxicated state overwhelms you. You completely fail to notice the empty nature of the house, as if it hasn't been lived in for years. It's barely furnished and no light switches are noticeable. The entire house seems built from old wood; the stairways, the doors, the frames, everything. You gallop through an archway into a darkened room, and feel the floor beneath your feet vanish... suddenly everything goes dark.

And wet.

You abandon your drunken horse fantasy and scramble desperately through the salty freezing water. You can't see and the pool seems thick. You break the water's surface and inhale gratefully.

Who the strawberry float puts a swimming pool inside an old country house?

You haul yourself out of the pool and begin to shiver. The dip seems to have sobered you up, but you're less than comfortable. You need to find somewhere or something warm, and investigate the house.

What now?

Look around the darkened room carefully. What else is in this swimming pool room? Is the water just water or do I need to get some shots when I get out of this mess?

Karl wrote:Look around the darkened room carefully. What else is in this swimming pool room? Is the water just water or do I need to get some shots when I get out of this mess?

It's hard to see, as there is no light, and the moon is shining on the front of the house. The moonlight thus comes through the windows of the entrance room, but barely reaches this far. But from what you can see, squinting in the darkness, there's nothing else in this room. The 'pool' seems fairly rudimentary, too. It's not modern in any way - more like a stone pit. The water is thicker than usual and you can still taste its saltiness on your lips. You try to drink some and you gag...

It's blood, isn't it?

In shock, you full-on throw up into the pool, removing any swallowed blood and the last of the booze. You look at your hands and you can just about make out the red tinge on your skin. You start to worry.

Think, Off, think.

You got a call earlier from an elderly woman who gave you this address. She said she'd come home one night to noises in her home. So she explored the house further and found a dead body. She screamed and ran out of the house, but when the police looked again, they saw nothing. She's now not certain what happened that night and no-one would take her case. But where is she?

You return to the entrance room. What will you do?

There are other rooms in the house, as well as a large central stairway leading to the first floor.

Having attained a D in GCSE Physics, our Detective remembers that heat rises, so out on the roof should definitely be the warmest place. He heads up the stairs.

Karl wrote:Having attained a D in GCSE Physics, our Detective remembers that heat rises, so out on the roof should definitely be the warmest place. He heads up the stairs.

Tapik walks up the large spiral staircase.
Expecting warmth, you're surprised to feel a cold draught. The downstairs door is closed... What gives?

You walk through the first door, which is slightly ajar, and into a room with a balcony. The doors and windows to the balcony are open, hence the draught. You walk over to close them and get a look at the view.

The house's back garden is huge and elaborate. There are a couple of large wooden sheds, hedges, and stone paths. Further out, the garden tangles with a forest, and it's hard to say for sure where one ends and the other begins, with hedges becoming trees and paths becoming trails. The clouds are vanishing and the moonlight is strong.

You close the doors and windows. The room you're in is a bedroom. You head back onto the corridor. There's the door to the bedroom behind you, and walkways to your left and right.

Left, centre, or right?

Spin on the spot until I'm almost too dizzy to stand then stumble in whatever direction I'm facing.

Lagamorph wrote:Spin on the spot until I'm almost too dizzy to stand then stumble in whatever direction I'm facing.

You fall over.

What now?

Go right, whilst singing Go West by the Pet Shop Boys at the top of my voice

Lagamorph wrote:Go right, whilst singing Go West by the Pet Shop Boys at the top of my voice

"There, where the air is free, we'll be, we'll be what we want to be..."

At the end of the right-hand-side of the corridor, the walkway branches. There are three doors, each with a gargoyle-like knocker.

The face of the gargoyle is different for each door.

________

Choose a door.

[GAME] The Files of Detective Offerman Tapik

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