The Gandlaugh Thread

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
JK
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by JK » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:04 am

Why is camping so exciting?

Because all the action is in tents.

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Dangerblade
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Dangerblade » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:10 am

Why were the BAKER's hands brown?

He needed a poo.

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Tragic Magic
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Location: Leicester
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Tragic Magic » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:10 am

Why does Mario never actually do any plumbing?

Because Princess Peach is more important.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Benny
Benny who?

Benny Hill *theme tunes plays, knocker runs in through back door, answerer runs out through front, monkeys come, scantily clad women come, everything comes*

JK
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by JK » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:12 am

Why does Noddy drive a yellow car?

He's a twat.

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Dangerblade
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Dangerblade » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:15 am

Why do elephants have big ears?

Something to do with their DNA, I imagine.

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RogueLeader
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by RogueLeader » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:21 am

A bear comes into a bar, approaches the barman and says "Could I have a pint of lager, 2 bottles of cider and...

...

...

...

... a glass of white wine.

The barman then says...

Why the long face?

I did this by severing my real arms and replacing them with super-human cyborg arms.
JK
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by JK » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:24 am

A horse walks into a bar, so the barman says:

Why the long face?

To which the horse replies:

My dad's just died.

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Rightey
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Rightey » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:24 am

Pilch wrote:I saw a magic tractor the other day. I was following it for about half a mile and then...

...it turned into a field!


:lol: That's terrible, but great.

Pelloki on ghosts wrote:Just start masturbating furiously. That'll make them go away.

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Look Over There
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Location: N. Ireland

PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Look Over There » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:31 am

Whats the difference in a microwave and anal sex?
A microwave won't brown your meat.

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Osito
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Osito » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:32 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

EDIT- At most of the thread.

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ROFL Harris
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AKA: GamesMan

PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by ROFL Harris » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:09 am

A guy walks up to a service station late at night. The place is locked up so he has to go to the window. He says to the lady behind the counter...

"Hey, can I get a Kit-Kat Chunky?"

She pops off and returns with a Kit-Kat Chunky.

"50p" she says.

"I wanted a regular Kit-Kat you fat bitch!"

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Clarkman
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Clarkman » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:16 am

Doctor in a maternity ward approaches a new young mother, he says,
'I've got good news and bad news'
'I'll have the bad news then', the lady replies.
'Your baby is ginger', says the Doctor sombrely.
'Oh' says the lady, 'what's the good news then?'
'Your baby is dead'

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smurphy
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Location: Scotland

PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by smurphy » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:24 am

What's the worst thing about shagging a bald fanny?


Putting the nappy back on afterwards

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Look Over There
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Location: N. Ireland

PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Look Over There » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:27 am

What do you do if a whale comes through your window?
Swim for your life!

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E-Man
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Location: Edinburgh

PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by E-Man » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:33 am

What's grey and can't climb trees?

A car park

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Prototype
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Prototype » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:45 am

What's worse than being kicked in the testicles ?

Seeing Gandalf resume his moderating duties on GRcade.com

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Nanook
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AKA: Level_7_Boss

PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Nanook » Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:00 am

What's blue and white & can't climb trees?

A fridge in a denim jacket

:|

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Jax
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Jax » Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:37 am

Why did little Sally fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

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Gandalf
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by Gandalf » Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:45 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Bravo lads, bravo!

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the yattering
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PostRe: The Gandlaugh Thread
by the yattering » Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:57 am

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
He felt his presents.


A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender:
"I'll have a brandy...........................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..........and coke."
The bartender asks: "What's with the big pause?"
The bear responds: "I dunno. I've always had them."


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