GRSearch: how make fleshlight? And how to do your first wank

What the hell is a "whooty ass".

"eliza tinsley chairs any good"

Selected queries containing the word "how" out of 1423 queries over the past year. There is so much gold in here I really don't know where to start.

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How make fleshlight?

how make fleshlight

"and btw i m 22 weeks pregnant and due in december..how s that for calculus"

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Some "whys"

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Bizarrely long queries:

itd be like me popping into staydeads paedo porn loli-fest thread and constantly posting photos of real women and being like "this is how a woman was meant to look"

a computer graphic shows the concentric rings that may have existed during atlantis' ancient heyday. scientists have seen evidence of such submerged structures beneath the vast marshlands of southern spain's dona ana park.

a shocked melissa is seen here in stills from their reality show shrieking in horror after her mother barged into the bathroom while she was showering.

vanessa feltz says she was groped by a famous guest on her chat show

names of people whom the show's presenter said were being mentioned online as paedophiles

the picture shows the lifeless corpse of 26-year-old tamerlan laying on a table

wat:

can you have sex in the ear? some people find having their ears kissed and sucked very pleasurable as it is a very sensitive area, although not everyone likes this. however, you should never poke anything inside anyone’s ear (that includes your penis) even if it does fit!

my son is 19 and though i have not seen him nude since he was a boy, i had seen him by accident about 6 months ago, when he had somehow ended up falling asleep naked in his room after a shower with his door wide open. he was on his back and erect in his sleep. i noticed his hard-on had a severe curve upward. it was bent very sharply like curling up bacwards. i had never seen anything like that on any man. it is about 7" long approximately and is bent more toward the tip in a definite shape of a letter "j", or a hook to attempt to describe it to you.

Burning questions:

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People looking for answers to some quiz or exam questions?

clifford married his sister, then his brother and then his mother. how did he do this without breaking the law
clifford milton married his sister brother mother (second time round) how can he do this without breaking the law answer
clifford milton married his sister then his brother and then his mother (second time around) how could he do this without breaking the law
clifford milton married his sister then his brother then his mother (second time around) how did he do this without breaking the law
clifford milton married his sister then his brother then his mother. how did he do this without breaking the law
clifford milton married his sister, then his brother, and then his mother (second time around) how could he do this without breaking the law
clifford milton married his sister, then his brother,and then his mother (second time around) how could he do this without breaking the law?
clifford milton marries his sister, then his brother, and then his mother. how could he do this without breaking the law?

please give an example demonstrating how you have promoted equality of opportunity; treating others with fairness, dignity and respect. what was the situation? what did you do? what was the outcome?

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Failing at keywords:

there are some side missions on batman arkham city that tell me that flagged for further investigation at bat cave how do u get to the bat cave

No.1 PC gamer question

I remember one particularly boring argument in the PC gaming thread I joined. Well someone wanted to know:

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Grcade - a public service.

Floex wrote:Denster

What?

This whole thread

Denster wrote:

Floex wrote:Denster

What?

You are the 3rd most Googled forumite over the past 356 days, attracting 287 visits, after fatdaz (1st with 789 visits) and pyxl_8 (2nd - 633 visits). Although "chalkitdown cat grcade" comes in way ahead with 1,159 visits but is disqualified due to exploiting the cat weakspot of the interwebs.

Does that mean people are google searching my name?

Yes it does. Google Image Search returns the following:















Amongst some other things like this (wtf NSFW):

Incredible. It's an honour to be apart of such an incredible thing.

I have visions of one of the bosses at work Googling it and finding that picture of me breastfeeding a cat.

Those pics are the best thing I've ever seen.

Green Gecko wrote:I thought I'd look into bumming. Last 30 days we have these queries:

bumming
bumming a girl
lesbian bumming pics

But where do they all redirect?

First, let's expand that out. Since the topic was created on Jan 8th 2012 we have reached out to these desperate questions:

bumming
bumming a girl
bumming girls
first time bumming
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bumming a girl for the first
bumming a girl forum
bumming for the first time?
guys first time bumming
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The answer? Our indispensable resource on the subject provided by our resident bumming guru Falsey.

367 young tortured souls saved.

Oh my god that thread.

Falsey

Keywords 1-5000 of 57,773 over past 365 days. Bigger words = longer average time spent on site (i.e. the keyword was somehow relevant to the person searching and they decided to continue browsing, sometimes for hours). This is less than 10% of known queries many of which we will never know due to encryption. (Also "grcade" is excluded.) I present you with:


hot anus babe thread (follow closely by ad7)










The next lot are much closer together in terms of time spent so you see some really glarringly weird keywords.

Does ad7 have a stalker? (Or 181)

People have visited GRcade for ad7 181 times, viewing on average 300 pages per visit and spending an average of 3 hours and 40 minutes on the site. Either ad7 is doing some backwards way of finding himself on GRcade, or he has serious stalking problems.

Is there any chance I could get 'are you a slicedawg' replaced for 'Steve's mum' in my little avy thingy.

I put that "I grabbed a rock in a fashionista way" phrase in my signature after I saw it in a funny pic.

Good. Keep putting memes in signatures.

memes, and porn, the more the better.

Thanks G

"cheeky volvic"

"GRcade - The webs best source of bumming advice"

Incredible, I'm crying with laughter reading through this topic.